Saturday night, meet for coffee, no big whoop. She’s actually quite lovely. AHHHH.
Convinced I’m going to come off with no less than 3 hideously embarrassing statements and/or gaffes (bad joke/blow snot/accidentally. . . I don’t know, step on her neck)
Lend a brother some conversation continuers? Starters I can handle, it’s when the verbal lulls occur and you’re both kind of studying the floor. She’s from Ireland, so I’m very interested in her background/story.
Also, any utterances/admissions I should avoid like the fires of hell would be greatly appreciated.
You know not to mention exes or how long it’s been since your last date, that this is a see-if-we-like-being-together time, not a clear-all-the-baggage/get-a guarantee time. Ask her things you’d like to know. If you’ve never been to Ireland, like me, ask her Doper questions. I’d want to know how she sees American’s perception of her country, what she sees as a fundamental difference in her visit/new home of the US. That could carry a conversation quite a while, maybe you would even have to continue this conversation over onto another date…
Thanks a lot for posting, guys- both jokers and non-jokers. I won’t be online again 'til Tues. but I’ll be sure to let you know if it was hit or a flame-out.
Moody out!
Went quite well- though she was putting way too much of herself out there. Had a good time with each other, all the same. She’s very sweet and as pretty as advertised. Unfortunately I don’t think we share the same sense of humor. I may call her again, she was just giving me a vibe that she was interested in much more than a casual dating arrangement, and I could be off but it felt like she’d definitely be interested in pursuing something, soo . . . I dunno. I want to be as upfront as possible with her, but one date seems a bit early (not to mention arrogant) to hold forth with the “You’re Nice But I’m Not Interested in Anything Serious” announcement.
This sounds like I’m totally jumping the gun and/or completely full of myself, I know. Just a pretty strong vibe.
Perhaps one more date, to see if you were getting a good read through all the first-date jitters on both sides, and go from there? Sharing a sense of humour is pretty important, though. My husband and I crack each other up all the time. Just thinking about him sitting around Sunday morning in his Superman costume last Halloween and saying, “What, this old thing?” made me laugh out loud again.
Featherlou is right. Allow for some first date ‘lag’. Also, don’t pretend you can judge someone on a first date. You’re not always wrong, mind you, but you’re not nearly always right either.
She’s very sweet and pretty, but you don’t share the same sense of humor? Hmm. Better ditch her then.
While the type does exist, you don’t have to worry about them. The version that puts a gun to your head and takes you to a wedding chapel is quite rare these days. Although it may well be that most of them live in Ireland. But then, maybe she fled the country for a reason. Maybe it’s because you’re not allowed to smoke in pubs there.
Either way, you said you two had a pretty good time. While the both of you have a pretty good time, I would go on dating. Dating someone with a different cultural background is usually at least very educational. Maybe even to your sense of humor.
That is, by the way, a very typical problem with cultural differences, or even if you don’t know each other very well. When in doubt, take someone seriously.
Fair points, Arwin. But I suppose I cheated in leaving out that we have some background information on the Irish lass in question. As she has on me (I hope). Standard set-up-by-others fare.
But I’ll concede. It’s very possible I’m overthinking it.
I’ll parry your comically(?) crude thrust, scumpup, by adding she has a very nice body all around. But (oh yes one other little thing) did I mention she’s extremely religious? Now. Before anyone suggests I’m possibly judging someone for that, let me say that, while I don’t attend regular services, I believe in God and pray on a daily basis and I think it’s terrific if people have a strong faith. To me though, that kinda stuff is an intensely private thing. And throughout the date I couldn’t help thinking of an old routine of George Carlin’s, lamenting the person who mentions Jesus 17 times in a five-minute conversation. It wasn’t to that extreme, of course; she wasn’t testifying or even being remotely obnoxious about it, but . . . let’s just say she brought God up a lot. That tends to set a distinct flavor on a first date.
I won’t be online again 'til Tues. but I’ll be sure to let you know if it was hit or a flame-out.