Fists Of Fury, Genitals Of Death

Never killed anyone, but did break a girlfriend’s nose while in the act. As I asked in the thread entitled, “Funny Thing Heard While Having Sex,” “Does ‘Oh fucking shit, you broke my nose’ count?”

And to add insult to injury, nothing, short of a severed aorta, bleeds like a broken nose. My God, what a mess.

Waitwaitwait…so you’re the subject of the old joke?

“She said, ‘give me ten inches and make it hurt’, so I fucked her twice and broke her nose.”

Is that you? :stuck_out_tongue:

I wonder what would happen if the man in the OP with the Weapon of Mass Destruction would ever knock boots with the woman with the Attack Womb?

Now THAT, I’d pay to see!

But I wouldn’t want to be to one to have to clean up the aftermath …

Richard Pryor did a bit on this subject. Apparently his father died “in action” and the woman was distraught and apologizing to the family. Pryor supposedly told her “What are you sorry for? He died in your pussy. That’s where I want to be when I die. You’ll see me up in heaven and there’ll be two lines; died in pussy and died everywhere else. And I’m going to be standing in the long line.”

And SF author Harry Turtledove has one of his characters die this way in a recent book. To avoid possible spoilers I won’t name the character or the book though.

I didn’t have to look to the left of the screen to see who wrote that.

Well, he did say he was looking for loose ends!

Jeez. I thought the image of the guy blasting his own hand off was bad enough.

And now someone has to envision the meeting of the Twat Of Death and the Cock Of Doom…

The Twat Of Death and the Cock Of Doom.

Hm.

Kind of sounds like a reality TV series from about three years in the future, doesn’t it?

Or maybe a really high-budget porn film, featuring a naked chick with a fedora hat and bullwhip…

And leaves you with one hell of a headache afterwards…

But what would happen if the Twat of Death and the Cock of Doom got it on?

Well, the BORING possibility would be that they’d find the two people, stiff and cold, locked in a death embrace with some really interesting expressions on their faces.

And the other? Jeez, I dunno. Whose kung fu is the superior kung fu?

Or would they both just explode or something?

An old friend of mine died in the arms of his girlfriend. His wife didn’t take it well. At first, she refused to have a funeral. Other family members prevailed, and they had one of the tensest ceremonies in recent memory.

The experience made me rethink some of my own life choices. I had been pursuing a path of… too much cholesterol.

An excellent point.

Better to have too much sex, instead.

Hump faster. Maybe you’ll resusitate him…:eek:

Had a similar experience myself. The only thing that broke was a lot of blood veins. Willy was quite swollen for a couple of weeks. Turned a deep shade of purple that took about a year to go away. Going to the bathroom the first week was a painful experience. I couldn’t tuck Willy in and had to hover over the toilet. I would have to ice Willy down for 10 minutes before I could pee. It looked like a purple softball.

In Stephen King’s Gerald’s Game the husband and wife head out to their secluded cabin and proceed to engage in some slight bondage. After he handcuffs the wife to the headboard he proceeds to die of a heart attack leaving her in the middle of nowhere, naked and flat on her back chained to the bed. Bad things ensued.

Been there, done that. Is it overrated? Hell no!! That is one of the top 3 sexual achivements of my life. Right upthere with hooking up with a lesbian in my club office in college.

Yeah I’m a Man-whore. SO WHAT :cool:

Nine months later they would be the proud parents of…The Heamaphrodite of Hell!

I’m thinking putting a splint on it would have been … ackward?

Well, I guess that would depend on whether or not you intended to try and have sex again immediately afterwards…

:smiley:

One of the GREAT pickup lines of all time.