Presumably there must also be a Cock of life somewhere. So what happens when the two meet (presumably on opposite ends of a threesome).
Will there be a matter-antimatter type catastrophic reaction that results in the end of the universe?
Or will there be a “matrix revolutions” type result where Cock of Death and Cock of Life cancel each other out (with sparkly lights and expensive CGI effects), ending in world peace no less.
And what pray tell happens to the poor girl in the middle?
Hm.
I’m not sure I like where this is going.
We have already established that a Cock Of Death, upon use, kills whoever’s on the recieving end.
We may, therefore, extrapolate that a Cock Of Life does the exact opposite – quickens life upon the recipient.
Now, precisely, what is this going to do in most circumstances? I mean, every sexual partner I’VE ever had has been breathing. Admittedly, I did have to check once, but she was breathing.
Consequently, what we have here is the equivalent of a faith healer trying to resurrect some guy who’s asleep on the couch. How effective is it going to be? And how are you going to know if it worked? I mean, the, um, victim, so to speak, wasn’t DEAD.
The only way we’re ever going to know the Wielder of the Cock Of Life is if he’s a practicing necrophiliac.
And if this guy’s been merrily screwing corpses left and right, I don’t really know how far I’d trust him. I think I’d just leave Uncle Oscar where he lies, and console myself with the trust fund, if you acquire my drift.
Of course, there’s the INVERSE of the situation to consider. The One True Wielder of the Cock Of Life is NOT a practicing necrophiliac. He’s just some guy, going on with his life, with no clue whatsoever to the incredible power to which he is heir, except for the fact that he probably has a bad habit of getting his partners knocked up, due to the “collateral damage” effects of his amazing abilities.
And if he’s gay, we aren’t even going to have THAT to go on…
Um, who is the poster right above me? Wang-Ka, if that’s your sock, you might need some lessons in subterfuge…
Subterfuge? Believe me, I’m not trying to hide.
…so for one thing, it’s going to be extremely unlikely we get these two in a room together.
If so, one will be in terror of his abilities, and the other is unlikely to even believe he HAS any abilities.
And then we have to convince them to have SEX with each other?
I mean, we’re talkin’ some pretty serious long shot material, here…
Be interesting to see what happened, though. Reversal of entropy? A Cosmic Event? Perpetual Motion?
(refrains from making any “black hole” jokes…)
My grandmother-in-law owns a Twat 'O Death:
After my wife’s grandfather died, it wasn’t long before her 75 year-old grandmother got engaged to be married to a man a good 15 years younger than her. On the wedding night, during consummation, “grandpa #2” seized up and died of a heart attack. A couple years later, on the anniversary of this event, grandma felt compelled to share the details of what conspired that night. Apparently, she thought he was just taking a rest after orgasm. It wasn’t until she noticed his “balls were turning black and blue” (her words) that she realized he was dead. :eek: She was staring at his testicles long enough for lividity to set in and failed to notice his lack of breathing!?! So many questions spring to mind (what position were they in???), but visualizing the scene fully would require scrubbing my brain out with bleach.
…and you decided to share this with us all here on a public message board.
Ah. Well. I can get on with my day, now…