I just got back in town. Took the wife and kiddies on a trip and flew back this afternoon.
Anyone here ever flown with children?
WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO CHANGE A DIAPER?
Look, I know that many of you are big, important businesspeople and you hate it when the schmuck with the crying baby sits down in the aisle seat next to your window. But look at it this way - you think that schmuck (and by “that schmuck,” I mean me) wants the baby to cry? You think he wants to hold a howling infant on his lap for 3 freaking hours?!?
Back to my original rant…
[ol]
[li]It is a fact of life that people defecate.[/li][li]Babies can’t control it and thus wear diapers.[/li][li]Said diapers must be changed, sometimes on airplanes.[/li][/ol]
So, WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO IT?
I seem to remember some flights that had fold-down tables in the bathrooms for just this purpose. Been years since I’ve seen one of those. My kids are too big to change on my lap, and I don’t think the guy next to me wants to see that anywhere near his spanish omelette.
Should I use the tray-table? The “counter” (heh) in the bathroom? How about I just lay my kid down in the aisle and let everyone get a good view?
Seriously, can’t the airlines figure this one out?!?
Good question. I don’t have an answer to that, but did you try asking the flight attendants? Part of their job is to help passengers figure out these little dilemmas of life. It seems that they should have encountered this problem at least once or twice, considering how many people travel with wee ones.
[tangent] Planes keep getting bigger overall, but the room inside just keeps getting smaller–my sister and I were flying, IIRC on a 767, and sis heard the flight attendant refer to it as “Barbie’s Dream Plane.” [/tangent]
You’re right, Geobabe, they should have an answer.
BUT THEY DON’T.
It irks me - there are only two kinds of flight attendants, 1)the young, pretty ones that don’t have kids, hate me because I have kids, and only want to get finished with my diet Pepsi so they can sit on the little bench in the back and chatter, and 2) the older ones, who do have kids, who smile and tell me that there is nothing they can do.
Nuts. What a freakin’ ridiculous problem–you’d think nobody ever flew with little kids. OK, here’s my suggestion: next time you fly and need to change a diaper, when the F.A.s tell you they can’t help you, start changing the kid on top of the counter in the galley. That might motivate 'em to help you find a solution.
Actually SD, I hate to say this but I Hate Schmucks like you!!
Nothin personal, but Fuckin-A…these kids just cry and cry and cry…try to get some sleep after a long week of partying in Mexico and a kid wails for the entire ride.
Then the kid let one loose in his pant and I thought I might retch! The father carried the kid(I’m assuming to the bathroom), and must have changed him cause the stench was gone.
Of course, when one kid stopped crying, another one in the back started up at the top of his lungs, and it was left to the FA to walk him around, not the mother…
If the kid makin a mess of himself is what makes him wail(besides the obvious ear pain), then the Jet manufacturers NEED to put a changing station on the jets. It almost seems ridiculous to me to have first class for all the people who wanna spend twice the price, but not have a changing station for those with children!
I’ve traveled once on a plane with my son. He was only 3 months old and still on breastmilk, so he wasn’t a walking toxic waste dump.
But I changed him on my seat. I’ve seen other parents of larger kids change them in the aisleways. It doesn’t bother me at all where parents change their kids. Those that voice their negative opionion haven’t been there/done that.
If you think you have something to bitch about, what about my Father in law who is paralized from the chest down and when he flies, he is stuck in the same seat for the duration of the flight (and until everyone deplanes too) and if he has to cath himself, he cannot wheel himself to the bathroom because no wheelchair will go down the aisleway and if it did, there is no way he could fit in to the lavatory to do his business. He has to put a blanket over his lap and use and old plastic pop bottle ( Usally sprite as it looks like urine anyway) to take a wiz with a cath tube.
Shirley Ujest:
Jesus! That’s awful. I never thought about it, but that’s just awful.
I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I’ve gotta think that your Father-in-Law must face those challenges almost everywhere he goes, right?
My rant regarding airplanes stems from the fact that this is an intolerable situation unique to airliners. I mean, I can change my kid on a train or bus (even Greyhound has those tables in the restrooms!) and if I’m driving, I can pull over and do it. Only airlines lock you in and leave you no recourse.
I was flying with my daughter and asked a flight attendant where I could change her and she directed me to THE FLOOR OF THE GALLEY!
While hunkered down at the feet of another flight attendant sitting on a cushy jump seat the size of a couch, I asked why I couldn’t change her on that and she said that it wasn’t sanitary (I had a changing pad)! Huh?! As if changing her in the galley was.
I’ve had good luck w/ changing tables in airplane toilets. Maybe it’s the airline?
This is slightly off the subject, but what is with the car seat rules? You call the airline and they tell you one thing, then you get to the plane and it’s something completely different. Not to mention trying to strap it in with the amount of room you get between seats.
BTW screw you to all the people who have given me nasty looks when they see me get on a plane with my kid (she’s 2). She has never cried on a flight. That includes flights from Virginia to California, Seattle, Connecticut & England all with connections. (I’m not trying to make other people feel bad about their own kids, I’m just lucky) I f*cking hate the way they assume that all kids cry.
I hate any places that don’t have changing tables in bathrooms. Would you like to lie down on a bathroom floor?
The more I fly on airlines, the more I want to buy a Cessna. It takes about two hours to fly to Vegas in a 172. When you consider getting to the airport early, checking in, ramp delays, waiting for luggage, etc., it can actually be quicker to fly yourself. And you don’t have to sit with a baby if you don’t want to. If you do have a baby on board, you won’t hear it because you have on your headset.
I have a question - What do you mean by “MIDDLE AGES-TYPE CATAPULT”?
Look:
I assume that you are using the first meaning of the word - I don’t think that you mean to launch my children into the sky in fighter jets from an aircraft carrier. That would be silly - there can’t possibly be room to change a diaper in an F-14! (Chief Scott, am I wrong?)
Oh - you said “MIDDLE AGES-TYPE CATAPULT,” so you mean the kind of the first definition. But, there are several different technologies that fall into the “catapult” catgory. They include the catapult, the ballista and the trebuchet:
[ul]
[li]The catapult is the winched-down bucket that people normally think about when they hear the word “catapult.”[/li][li]A ballista is a very large cross bow, and[/li][li]a trebuchet is a weighted beam that swings a sling carrying the projectile.[/li][/ul]
Again, I’ll assume you don’t know as much as I do, and we’ll stick with a plain-old catapult.
But now I am confused by your use of the term, “MIDDLE AGES-TYPE.” As everyone knows, the Middle Ages ran from about 500 AD to 1500 AD. But, catapults really came into style much earlier! Technically speaking, a bow is a catapult, and…
The catapult (as someone as uneducated as you thinks of it) didn’t really appear until the development of the advanced Gastraphetes around 360 BCE!
That’s almost 900 years earlier than the Middle Ages.
And, as Christopher Gravett says, in Medieval Siege Warfare (ed. Martin Windrow (London: Osprey Publishing, 1990) 3-4):
In other words, the “MIDDLE AGES-TYPE CATAPULT” really sucked in comparison with its predecessors!
So, what is it about the “MIDDLE AGES-TYPE CATAPULT” specifically that you think will help me change my childrens’ diapers while flying?
Sdimbert, you obviously haven’t embraced the inner asshole. Once you become one with that jerk that lives inside each one of us, you will RELISH flying with your kids.
My kids are about 10 months old and 20 months old. The older one has been on at least a dozen flights and the younger has been on about half that. I look forward to every single trip.
Enjoy yourself from the moment you walk into the airport and stand in line. The looks of terror in the eyes of everyone around you is priceless. If you are lucky someone will be brave enough to ask, “So, where are you headed?” In a loud voice so everyone can hear, state your destination and watch as about half the people turn to their companions and, in unison, say “Shit.”
It just gets better from there. Pushing your way to front of the line because you get to pre-board is one of the pleasures in life that are meant to be treasured. You can be sure that if there is a free seat anywhere on the plane, it will be next to you because your neighbor will do anything to get away from you.
BTW, to answer your OP, I’ve changed the little darlings on changing tables (some planes have 'em), on the floor, in empty rows, and on my seat when I stand in the isle.
There was a TV movie in the 70s (I want to say around 1973) called Family Flight. A mom, dad, daughter and her boyfriend were flying in a Mooney. The flew off course and made a forced landing in Baja California. Drama ensued as they cleared a runway in the blazing heat. Finally the runway was hacked out of the brush. Too bad the kids left the ADF (AM radio) on. Dead battery. Dad had to “prop” the plane (i.e., spin the propeller by hand, buch like push-starting a car) to get it started. He was a little slow, though, and nearly had his arm hacked off messily. They get airborne and ditch near the USS Ranger for a happy ending.
Just thought I’d mention that.
(Aside: Mom flew my sister and me up to visit my dad. The plane’s battery died and dad propped the plane to get it started. After seeing the movie, I was a bit nervous.)
What’s the deal with all these infants flying nowadays anyway? I din’t fly until I was 18 and in college, and then only once or twice (usually I took Greyhound). Now that I can afford to fly, I don’t want any cryin’ stinkin’ kids fouling up the airplane. After all, you wouldn’t (well, maybe you would, but that’s another story) change your kid on the table or floor in a restaurant! On all but the shortest flights, people are trying to EAT! And for the cryin’ bit, it’s obvious many kiddies are quite unhappy up there, whether ist’s boredom, hunger, ear pain, whatever. I don’t really care WHY, just shut-em up for cripes sake! I think there are A LOT of selfish parents out there who don’t care how their little bundles of joy affect everybody else!
To all the people who hate screaming infants on flights and think the parents are being inconsiderate:
You are a bunch of fucking hypocrites.
If you had a baby, you’d take them on an airplane. When the alternative is driving for 18 hours to reach your destination, and the kid is screaming all the way in the car because he’s hot, and you have to STOP and change the diaper every so often, thus making the trip LONGER. . .
Sure, it’s easy for YOU to say “don’t take the kid on the airplane,” but why don’t you pull your heads out of your asses and look at the situation from the point of view of the parents?
And don’t give me shit about “I’m not going to have kids, so I can ignore your argument.” That’s just an excuse so you don’t have to stretch your pathetic little minds and look at things on the other side of the fence.
Why don’t you try to be a little more understanding? I can put up with a crying fit or the occasional whiff of “poopie.” It’s only a few short hours, for fuck’s sake!
Take your whiny type A personalities back to the fucking stock market and buy some shares in Clue Incorporated. Maybe they’ll actually be worth something to you some day.
– Sylence
I don’t mean to sound like some of the rest of these cretins, because I do sympathize with the parents, although I do it begrudgingly.
Also realize that in a few years, I will have joined the ranks of the parented, and I will no doubt be echoing your feelings…
However, for the time being–Pull YOUR Head out of your ass and realize that you didn’t HAVE to have kids. As it is a choice, it is your duty to suffer, miserably through 18 years of bullshit, and 18-hour car rides, and changing diapers on the road Etc.
Just because some of us have CHOSEN to delay parenting for a few years, doesn’t mean we should have to put up with parents who can’t shut their children the fuck up. If your child is uncomfortable on a jet and drives everyone absolutely nuts on a 4-hour flight, you should be vanquished…“To the wing with you!”, hide in the head, something.
Stuff a sock in the kids mouth, do something, but it’s not our responsibility to have to deal with a wailing child, just because you have one and we don’t, when all we want is a little sleep.
Oh, and I do believe they do have special chartered flight for partiers and adults only…but they only go certain places, and are most likely more expensive.
