Yeah, two foodstuffs I’ve never quite been able to grasp are:
1) Fig paste. I’m sure some people use it for baking pastries, but this is just so foreign to me. I mean, I just picture some kid hollering out, “Mooooom! We’re out of fig paste!”
2) Clam juice. Yeah, I know, people use it for stock in making clam chowder and such. I know, I know. But still. “Moooooom! We’re out of clam juice!”
Better yet, DAVE, what about Clamato? Is that stuff still around?
Me either. Given that “half-and-half”, in the milk family, means “half cream and half milk”, there can’t be such a thing.
:eek:
Nobody eats it, you just give it to your friends. It’s the easy way to give head. 
Potted meat food product was one of the reasons I opened this thread. I’ve never eaten it, but let’s parse it.
“meat” - not chicken, or pork, or turkey, or whatever, just “meat”. That’s a strike against it right off the bat.
“potted meat” - what’s this? I’ve had potted plants…or did they get the animals good and drunk before they slaughtered them? What exactly does it mean to “pot” meat? Maybe it’s completely harmless and aboveboard, but…
“potted meat food” - it can’t even claim to be meat, but is rather a meat food, apparently bearing the same relationship to meat as pasteurized process cheese food bears to cheese. That’s another strike. But the third strike, of course, is:
“potted meat food product” - my Lord, it can’t even call itself food!!! If this doesn’t scare the shit out of you, I just don’t get it. I mean, all it claims is to be something made from food, rather than being actual food.
Run awaaaay!!!
Anyone ever been exposed to Squid Flakes? They’re a snack popular in the Philippines, apparently. I’ve got a wrapper on the bulletin board at my office; if I remember, I’ll quote from it tomorrow.
When I was first given the packet of this taste treat (courtesy of a Filipino colleague of my wife), I summoned up the bravery to sample them. They’re as yummy as they sound, I’m afraid.
If you find liver to be chalky and dry, it’s because the cook didn’t make it right. I do find kidneys nasty, though; no matter how they’re cooked.
I used to think that I hated saurkraut but it turned out that I really hated the canned kind that comes swimming in some sort of vinegar/embalming fluid type crap. The refrigerated kind that’s crisp and nasty brownish fluid free is quite good; as is the kraut at The Bohemian Cafe in Omaha.
I agree with the posters who dislike the idea of food dyed unnatural colors. Ditto the aversion toward peanut-flavored cellulose-and-starch floor tiles called “peanut butter slices.”
I wasn’t paying attention and brought home something I thought was cheese but was really “cheese food product” that wouldn’t melt but would only curl up around the edges and give off an industrial glue sort of aroma. Never buy anything called the name of a real food followed by the words"food product"!
I don’t like head cheese or pickled pigs feet, either. Add pickled eggs to that list. The damn things look like those formadehyded cow’s eyeballs we dissected in junior high.
Spam, however, rules. I find it to be a lot less greasy than most blister-pack sliced lunch meat, and the fat content is generally lower, as well. Spam Lite has some chicken meat replacing some of the ham and pork shoulder that make up regular Spam. It’s not got very much less total fat and is saltier.
I’ve tasted the lower-salt version of “real” Spam and found that I don’t miss the extra salt.
Haven’t tried Turkey Spam yet. The package says it’s the lowest-fat Spam there is, though the sodium content is as high as regular Spam.
This will probably get major disagreements from the Brits on the board, but my London-born father loves three things I find totally disgusting:
Marmite - Yeast extract spread. Yes, you heard that right. Yeast EXTRACT spread. I have yet to find ANYONE in the U.S. who can tolerate even a tiny taste. I used to dare friends to try it. One did and drank half a bottle of concentrated lemon juice just to get the taste out. I’m told by my father that Vegemite is even better than Marmite. Apparently it’s exactly like Marmite except it also has CARAMEL inside it.
Daddies’ Sauce - This is sort of like A-1 and sort of like Apricot Jam and sort of like A-1 mixed with Apricot Jam and completely like disgusting. Especially the smell.
And the non-British food he loves that I can’t stand is:
Borscht. Yep, beet soup. In fact, I think anything with beets is horrible. How anyone can eat them is beyond me. It’s my contention that Borscht was invented in Russia so that the Czar could more effectively oppress the serfs. “You no work on farm? Okay, you drink Borscht.” Eventually, they learned to love it.
Well I must admit that I adore sauerkraut. There’ve been days where I’ll literally have a bowl of it (by itself) as a meal. mmmmmmmmm
Margarine freaks me out. Our family uses butter and only butter. Margarine is (to me) so over flavoured and salty. Plus, it’s impossible to make a decent baked good with margarine (in my family’s extensive baking experience). And coloured margarine? :eek:
frozen peanut butter & jelly sandwiches – 
. I saw these at Kroger’s. Apparently they’re marketed towards moms who are busybusybusy. But, right on the box, it says that you need to let a sandwich defrost for about an hour! Jeezus, if you don’t have time to splop cream and slime junk onto bread and instead buy frozen sandwiches, I weep.
Everyone who hates sauerkraut should try making your own, or finding a place that does before swearing off forever. It’s like the difference between steaming your own artichokes and buying the hearts in a can. Yuck, artichoke hearts from a can, blech.
Coffee is coffee. Kahlua is coffee flavored liquor. What’s up with General Foods producing Kahlua flavored International Coffee (note: sans alcohol)?!?!? In essence they are producing, marketing and selling COFFEE FLAVORED COFFEE - albeit synthetic coffee, but the point remains. The most disturbing part of this whole equation is that they must have enough consumer demand to warrant its continued availability on your local supermarket shelves. The ease of duping America is truly frightening!
Of course, you realise that most of you are now banned from ever criticising British food ever again, heh, heh.
The Marmite advertising over here emphasises that you either love it or you hate it (personally I hate it). It’s very nutritious however.
The Dutch salted licorice bagkitty mentioned is called “drop”, by the way, and most of it is too salty for this tourist. Maybe the weirdest stuff I have acquired a taste for is the candied and chillied pineapple you can get in places like Thailand. IMHO, if you haven’t enjoyed liver or kidneys you haven’t had them cooked properly, although I hated them as a kid.
Several people here have posted about food they don’t like rather than stuff that doesn’t make sense, but it the spirit of the OP I’d like to suggest food garnishings that you’re not expected to eat or that aren’t even food. The worst example I can think of is a 3" square of gold leaf used to top a bowl of soup! This was the satanic work of Swiss chef Anton Mossimann, may he rest in pieces.
You’re right, everton. We did go off on a tangent.
Going back to the OP, how about those little silver balls that go on top of birthday cakes? The ones that if you chew them, they crack your teeth, if you suck on them they have no flavour. I was recently told that they ARE edible. I have my doubts.
Also, blow-pops never made any sense to me. I mean, you’re supposed to eat the outside but only chew on the centre and spit it out later?
silver dragees. And actually, you AREN’T supposed to eat them. At least that’s what I heard at the Snopes board.
How about Frappucinos? I’m willing to get framed on this. Everyone goes on and on about Starbucks. I bought a Frappucino once. It tasted like cold coffee. Ick.
I also had a hot chocolate at Starbucks. Everyone raves about the place. Hello, Swiss Miss powdered mix is better! The stuff was thin, watery and overly sweet.
I bought “Buttoni Pesto with basil” yesterday. That baffled me. Is there pesto that isn’t made out of basil?
Iced tea and coffee. I don’t understand this. Those are two items that are supposed to be served hot.
I’m with Guinastasia, Starbucks hot chocolate is terrible. And for some reason when you order tea you are asked if you want it made with milk. Milk? I did not understand that question.
I’ve heard Marmite described as having the appearance and consistency of road tar. And there are plenty who would add “and the taste”. But I enjoy it, especially spread rather thickly on whole wheat toast.
I’ve never been able to get into Dr. Pepper. Most soft drinks taste intensely sweet to me, but this one seems to add a serious dose of wierd. I have a friend who loved the stuff but got worried because someone told him it was flavored (in part) with prune juice, to which he is allergic.
I argued that since he’d been drinking vast quantities of this strange stuff for years, he was probably okay. But he got hold of a Dr. Pepper “consumer information” number and called to express his concern. The cheerful response was, “No need to worry, sir – there are no natural ingredients in Dr. Pepper.”
Get your Haggis right here! Chopped heart and lungs boiled in a wee sheep’s stomach! Tastes as good as it sounds.
– Groundskeeper Willie
I think that about covers it.
Salted Licorice! Yummm… especially when it makes your eyes water. And I’ll put in my vote for kidney too. My mom’s steak-and-kidney pie. Yummmm… I like yogurt too.
Oh! This was about foods we don’t like? 
Cheese. Ick. Ick. Ick.
What sort of barbarian drinks tea without milk in it? 
(That is, as long as it’s black tea, not herbal or mint or green.)
I’ve never been able to understand the appeal of corndogs. and I don’t get cotton candy, either. Too much sugar- blegh.
One thing I really don’t get, in line with the frozen PBJ sandwiches, is that now, you can get Pilsbury cookie dough that isn’t just pre-made (bad enough) but also pre-sliced. All you have to do is put the pre-sliced cookies on a tray. How lazy would you have to be, that the regular pre-made unsliced cookie dough was too much work for you?
Then again, I don’t understand convenience foods in general…
I can explain fake meat…
Us vegetarians arn’t usually to in to the whole fake meat thing (reluctent health vegetarians are the exception, of course) but sometimes we miss the food that we grew up eating in our childhood. I will occasionally buy a pack of fake hot dogs and make chili dogs. I could probably get away without the fake hot dogs, but pouring chili over a bun and digging in just seems kind of wrong.
Most veggie-burger like deals arn’t meant to replicate meat. Most vegetarians I know actively avoid the more meat-like ones. What they do do is provide an easy way for restraunts to offer at least one vegetarian menu item (and while I am glad I can eat out with my friends when I’m in strange veggie-unfriendly towns, I do get sick of veggie-burgers). They are also an easy way to make a sandwhich at home that is decent and filling when you don’t have a lot of good fresh stuff around. Some of them are quite good on their own (ohmygod Chik patties are the best thing on earth) without being compared to the meat products they are supposed to replicate.
I don’t get a lot of fake meat (fake bologna…why?) but I’d assume that most people use it only occasionally for fun to replicate food from their childhood or something along those lines. Virtually no vegetarians rely on fake meat as a staple of their diet.
This sort of barbarian does!
Tea is to be drunk as is. No sweetener, no milk, nothing. Anything else is a cruel bastardisation.
Chorizos.
I used to love 'em, until I read the ingredients:
“…lymph nodes … beef salivary glands …”
Urp! There went breakfast!
Cow spit. Yikes!
Add another vote here for cheese-in-a-can. Makes absolutely no sense to me.
Seafood pizzas. Who the hell thought that made sense ? If you want pizza, have pizza, if you want seafood, have seafood ! Sheesh !
Peanut butter and jelly (IIRC, jelly = jam in America). The mixing of these two foods onto a piece of bread leaves me speechless, they should be enjoyed seperately. It makes no sense to me, though I’m pretty sure YMMV
Marmite makes complete sense. If you’re going to eat and drink animal secretions, why not go all the way (though Vegemite is the devil’s own work and should be shunned)
The Aussie Dopers are so going to kill me for that vegemite comment… oh well, it had to be said