For all you Theatre People out there... (light bulb jokes)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
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[If you have any more, feel free to add 'em.]

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. One to do it, and the rest to talk about how much better they could have done it.

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Doesn’t the stage manager do that?

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Nobody knows. They can never find their light.

How many stage managers does it take to change a …?
Done.

How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb?
I DON’T CARE!!! JUST DO IT!!!

How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s on my list. IT’S ON MY LIST!!!

How many assistant directors does it take to change a light bulb?
One. But s/he has to check with the director first to make sure s/he wants one there.

How many directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Well, um…I dunno. What do you think?

How many lighting techs does it take to change a light bulb?
Nothing happens on that *&#@%ing side of the stage anyway.

How many lighting designeers does it take to change a light bulb?
None. Where’s my assistant?

How many playwrights does it take to change a light bulb?
Change? Why does to have to change? No changes, it’s perfect the way it is.

How many theatre students does it take to change a light bulb?
Um, what’s the deadline, 'cause I may need an extension.

How many interns does it take to change a light bulb?
It doesn’t matter because you’ll have to do it again anyway.

How many theatre critics does it take to change a light bulb?
All of them. One to be highly critical of the design elements, one to express contempt for the glow of the lamp, one to lambast the interpretation of wattage used, one to observe how trite the use of a lightbulb was, one to critique the performance of the bulb itself, one to recall supurb light bulbs of past seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all to join in on eht refrain reflecting on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep.

How many audience members does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to change the light bulb, one child to dry and one to say loudly, “ROSE, HE’S CHANGING THE LIGHT BULB!”

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Cute. Nothing to add…but cute.

(I’m bumping it up so people who are actually creative can see it and post.)

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How many popcorn sellers does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They are quite happy to sell it cold.

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How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one… he runs to get a techie.

How many actors does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally, just one, but he’s still getting his makeup done.

How many techies does it take to change a light bulb?
Three… one to change it, and the other two to stand around chatting, using the opportunity to look like they’re busy.

How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but his headset cable keeps getting in the way, so he screws up at least twice.

How many choreographers does it take to change a light bulb?
Three, but two of them don’t do anything, and the third needs two hours of contemplation beforehand.

How many High School directors does it take to change a light bulb?
Why change the light bulb? On the inside, the light bulb is a beautiful butterfly… and you are a crustacean.

(Yes, I’m a theatre person, one with lots of contempt for Stupid Actors… bah!!)