I always tend to question articles that describe a “disturbing trend” and yet provide no factual information or statistics.
That simply isn’t true. I’ve had plenty of instances when I was single where a woman approached me in a bar. She didn’t open with “let’s get it on” though.
To clarify the OP, is the woman simply opening with “lets have sex” or is she striking up a conversation and flirting with the intent to ultimately have sex that night?
“When both genders feel free to answer ‘yes’ or ‘no’ with no concern for anything but their own desires, a truer understanding, and a more positive sexuality, can be achieved. Dossie tells the story of a woman friend of hers back in the ‘70s who, as an experiment, sat patiently in a singles’ bar one night, being approached by many men, until finally one to whom she felt attracted came along and began to flirt. She asked him nicely if he would like to come back to her place and fuck. He swallowed his ice. It took the poor fellow a couple of minutes before he could talk coherently again, and when they actually got to her place he found himself impotent. That’s how deeply ingrained some of these cultural stereotypes can be.”
Go to share a bed with someone I don’t even know? I’d say No. I’m a suspicious bastard, and it takes me a long time to get comfortable with someone… my speed record for doing this is around six dates and a lot of talking.
Even beyond the suspicion of scams and craziness, I’d hesitate. What if the stranger turns out to have political views I loathe? Sexual preferences I dislike? Acquaintances I can’t stand? Personal habits that nauseate me? I need time to get to know them and screen all these possibilities put.
This has little to do with being sexually attracted to someone, but sexual attraction is not at all a reliable indicator of whether we’d actually get along well together.
While the poll results may not support the original statement completely, I think they are bearing out its spirit quite nicely. Even with all the paranoia, we’re hovering around 50%. Meaning, on average, said average woman need only approach two or three guys with this line in order to reach the requisite 80% success rate. Since the whole point of the original statement was that it was rediculusly easy for women to find sexual partners, this would seem to be supported by the poll result.
Assuming I’m sober, very unlikely. I’d be too suspicious. Get me further along the continuum, though, and it becomes more and more likely.
If you’re drunk all bets are off, but for all the ladies thinking average men hanging in bars are lust crazed sex machines you need to take a more nuanced view.
I think, to some extent, assuming a man has a middling buzz on, that there is a finely parsed calculation he is determining to get past the “Danger Will Robinson!” phase. Someones else’s “five” could be my “nine” and vice versa. Averageish looks, but slightly quirky is a huge turn on for many men (including myself). A hot dolly would be less likely to get play from me making this proposal than a more normal looking women. If the women was “average looking”, but otherwise appealing and you could see she had a middling buzz on (and you had one yourself) , I think there would be lot more takers. Getting hit with “Let’s fuck” cold from a complete sober woman is … well just a bit too strange for most men’s comfort zone.
Even if I wasn’t in a committed relationship, I’d still say no. I’d suspect she …
was a sociology or women’s studies grad student who was doing her thesis on how sex-crazed men are, and performing field research; or
had the crazy, and she’d stalk me forever, slice off my penis as a trophy, film the affair and threaten blackmail of some sort, or something similar.
Quite. If I’d had any reason to suspect, in my bachelor days, that a line like “Hi, you look nice - fancy making the beast with two backs?” had anything close to a 50% success rate, I’d have used no other approach. 
Some men do have this super power. If you are model/actor handsome and/or otherwise appealing enough re charisma, pheromones or whatever this is actually a perfectly viable strategy for some men, and can have a relatively high success rate if used in the right context. This was Bill Clinton’s preferred approach in his pre-Presidential days and got him a surprising amount of play. There were some handsome and (not so handsome but charming) friends I knew in my youth would could troll a bar or nightclub, and in minutes come away with a very attractive girl willing to sleep with them. Otherwise circumspect women will drop their drawers very quickly if a man has the right stuff.
This is what I was going to say.
The reasons that the men are giving (“what if she’s psycho?” “what if she’s got some STD or another?” “what about pregnancy?”) are the same reasons that many women aren’t going home with average guy in a bar. The difference doesn’t seem to be so much between the genders but in the role that’s being played at the time.
Like I said in the complementary thread, the tendency for men to show bravado and invulnerability might cause them to answer “yes” to this question. But who knows if they’d actually put their money where their mouths are? It’s easy to talk real big and say “I’d do any woman in this room, 5 or higher,” but following through is another matter. So I’d take the poll results for what they are, a self-selected sample of people who may or may not be being honest with themselves.
Yeah I would do it, if I was single. Would I prefer to have sex with a woman in a committed relationship? Sure. But a hookup is a lot less work.
Thing is, it was never the ladies who thought that. It’s the *men *who tend to insist that any reasonably attractive woman can get laid any time she wants to, solely because average men are lust crazed sex machines.
But that’s just it. There’s no way to know if there’s a ‘trick’ in the real world. Just like there’s no way to know if it’s going to be any good, if there will be ‘strings’ attached, if they’re a stalker, if they’ve got an STD, if they’ll rob or assault you once you get back to their place (or yours), if they’re underage with a fake ID, etc.
But opening up with “let’s get it on” is what we are talking about.
I’m engaged, but if I wasn’t… maybe. It depends on whether the OP’s definition of “average” meets mine.
Very much no, it would be a complete turn off for me. In fact, I’d most likely walk home straight away by myself, hope nobody noticed what had happened and never go back to that bar again.
I interpret the spirit of the OP to mean a woman approaches you in a bar with the intent to pick you up for sex that night. I think the answer depends on the manner of her approach and the location.
Maybe you are right though. As a general rule, when a woman aggressively tries to pick up a man, it seems to be more about demonstrating that she is available for him to approach her.
Doesn’t have to be; and in fact if Ms. Average approaches me in a bar and smiles and is friendly and strikes up a conversation and then doesn’t eventually specifically ask if I would go home with her, her odds of hooking up with me plummet.
It’s not a problem that she is overt; it’s a problem, however, if Ms. Average, who is a total stranger to me, comes over and says “Hi, would you come home with me and have sex with me?” — as with the other guys in the thread, that has me wondering where the camera is or where the partner with the sap is waiting to whack me in the head, and the unexpectedness of it has me going “huh? whuh?”
But have Ms. Average sit down and strike up a nonchalant conversation about nothing in particular, keep it going, and then after we’ve been talking for a little while, do something like “Isn’t it funny how people are constrained about what’s considered normal & appropriate if you’re a man or if you’re a woman… you know how it’s expected of men that if they find a stranger attractive they might try their luck but with women there’s the assumption that they’re going to want or need an emotional connection… OK confession time, I saw you over here and thought to myself, ‘why not?’ … so, umm, I’m trying to pick you up. Will you go home with me?”
THAT’S going to work 90+++ % of the time.
Or else I’m rather weird among men, one or the other.
This poll is not about an “attractive” woman. It’s about an “average” woman.
Instead of trying to “interpret the spirit” of the OP, you might as well answer the question as it was asked. The OP specifically defines the manner of her approach: “the average woman walked into a bar and walked right up to you and asked you to come home with her sex…”
I wonder this as well.
Doesn’t matter. Your definition of average is what you should answer according to. (If you were answering.)
DianaG: Thanks for holding down the fort while I was away today. 