Please, before Crunchy repeals my status as best man, we need all the nekkid wimmens we can get over in THIS thread:
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=41707
So c’mon, ladies, you know you want to! Let’s go! Move it!
Do it for your ol pal Jester! There’s booze, and food, and torn up airplane parts, it’ll be a happenin shindig!
I’d love to help you out…I’ve already invited zyada to perform for you guys (sorry, no reply). I’d do it my self but I’ve already been escorted out of the party once.
[Eve, dressed as Gypsy Rose Lee:]
"I act Maeterlinck wearing only mink
and I play Iphigenia
wearing not a swatch, just a diamond watch
and a glittering tiara!
I bring classics to the present tense
with the elegance and relevance;
and you’ll love my love’s labour—
My Juliet’s the best you’ll get!
As my costumes get less and lesser
they think I’m quite the dresser,
and of course they admire my scholarship
when I strip, don’t you fellas? when I strip!"
—Now; anyone for a chorus of “Ya Gotta Have a Gimmick?”
Better hurry, ladies. These guys are so desperate that they’re waving twenties.
“Beer is fine,
and liquor is quicker,
but twenties are the way
to the heart of a stripper.”
Not really, those are $2 bills. It’s just kinda dark in there.
<prediction>
By the end of the week (this bachelor party’s going to run at least a week, right?) ssskuggiii and possibly/probably hypergirl will have all our money… Some underage female doper (there has to be at least one) lands the male population of the SDMB in the slammer… Crunchy needs desperately to get out of jail to attend his wedding - hilarity ensures. 
</prediction>
Hey, I resent that. Not that it’s not true, but why am I always after Tasha?
Because she has been here longer and struuter thinks she is a cool chick.
Also, check her sig.
Maybe the Wesson oil is to cold for the ladies.
heats up wesson oil and starts to unfold the plastic blow up pool
takes off clothes to show her bikini
Did I hear that someone needed strippers?
I’m the underage jailbait! beams
Enjoy it, boys!
it’s black satin barely-there underwear for me, thanks
<homer Voice on>mmmmmmmmm…Underage jailbait…</homer voice>
Did I say that out loud?
Oh what the heck…I need the money, and I guess I am not TOO bad looking…several FFF/SDMB men were able to sit near me at dinner a few nights ago and no one lost their appetite.
Michi
Not too bad-looking???
Michi, I’ve seen the photos from the last central Fla. get-together. You’re gorgeous!
If I weren’t married, I’d be hoping for a private lap-dance from you, child! 
That’s it. I’ve now been rejected in BOTH bachelor party threads. See if I ever play with y’all again.
walks off in a huff
Hyper: It’s because I saw a post somewhere that declared her to be the biggest flirt on the SDMB (somewhere), so when I think debauchery, she comes to mind. You’re up there too, promise. 
Now, back to other matters…
<counting money>
One for the strippers, one for bail.
Two for the strippers, one for bail.
(repeats ad infinitum)
</counting money>