Forty-six-year-old juvenile delinquents

The BBQ Pit
1

We’ve got a crisis in the Robyn family. My aunt, who was sober for many years, got drunk the other night and got into it with a cop. She’s now in jail in Austin waiting for us to come in and bail her out. She’s been charged with two misdemeanors and one felony.

We had a family pow-wow over the phone with us and my grandmother last night, and we’re bailing her out, nothing more. My brother has agreed to represent her, but she’s paying for his services. My aunt is probably waiting to see which of us is going to pull whatever strings to get her out of this; it’s happened a zillion times before.

So, to my beloved aunt:

What in the FUCK were you thinking when you decided that it might be a good idea to punch a cop?! The only thing you have in common with Zsa Zsa Gabor is that Zsa Zsa has money to pay the lawyers; you don’t unless you go crying to your mommy.

And now that single self-destructive act has probably cost you what chance you had of taking the bar exam. You can’t do it if you’ve been convicted of a felony. So, four years of law school at UCLA goes down the toilet because you had to do something stupid.

And that’s what this was. It was stupid. Immature teenagers do this shit. You are not a teenager. You are a 46-year-old woman, presumably an adult, who should have the maturity and responsibility to know better, but you don’t. Forty-six years of having Mommy and Daddy (and especially Daddy) bail you out (no pun intended) of every jam you get yourself into. No matter what happened, Daddy was there to make it better.

Well, this time it’s different. Thanks to the wisdom of the five adults, you’re going to be held responsible for this stupid act. We’re bailing you out, but if you jump bail, guess what? You’re going back to jail. You will do what your lawyer tells you to do, and you will do your time and face the consequences. Because that’s what adults do. And it’s time you grew up and learned to act your age.

Robin

2

Sorry for your family woes. I woulda left her there.

3

Me too. And now she IS family to me. :rolleyes:

God help her if she ever asks me to bail her out or anything like that. She’ll be drying out for a very long time before I would do anything, I’ll tell you that.

4

Sorry about the situation msrobyn, but bailing her out really, really, really sounds like enabling to me. If nothing changes, nothing changes. I’m a big believer in the alcoholic suffering their own earned consequences. It sure helped me to get well.

Good luck.

5

My boyfriend is a recovering alcoholic. When he was 22 he drove home drunk, hit another car (luckily no one was seriously injured except my boyfriend) and rolled his own car nine times. He went through all the required classes and meetings and was on IPS for a year and a half (basically house arrest without the ankle bracelet). In March of last year, after he was put on standard probation, he got drunk at a party, blacked out, and got into a neighbor’s (unlocked) car.

Both times his parents bailed him out of jail so he could keep his jobs. This time around, he’s back on standard again, and has been sober for 15 months.

Alcoholism is a terrible disease, but it is that: a disease. I feel bad that your aunt lapsed after so many years of being sober. I can see bailing her out if she has a job and your family didn’t want her to lose it. Hopefully, this will be her last ‘lapse.’

Good luck to you all.

6

In addition to bailing her out in the first place sounding like a bad idea to me, your brother actually representing her sounds like a worse one. Her own wind, let her twist in it, I say.

7

Have you guys tried to stage an intervention? Maybe you could do this when you bail her out-the woman needs serious help.

Sorry to hear of this happening right on top your wedding and the coming birth of your son.

:frowning:

8

Okay, an update, now that my dad and brother are home from Austin.

They arranged for a different attorney to represent her. My brother’s not a criminal lawyer, so he talked to someone he knows. She is out on bail, but she’s ultimately financial responsible for that ($1000 worth), and she knows she has to appear. She also apparently ranted and raved for a while and threatened a lawsuit against the police department. :rolleyes:

The long and short of it is that she’s out, but she’s on her own. My grandmother is not paying the lawyer; she’s responsible for that. Likely, since the incident was alcohol-related, she’ll be sentenced to rehab and possibly have to attend AA meetings and be subject to drug and alcohol testing. This assumes her lawyer and the DA can work out a favorable arrangement. If not, she’s going to prison.

I honestly think this can be the best thing that ever happened to her, if she can get her head out of her ass long enough to get the message.

Robin

9

She should seriously consider whether being a lawyer is for her, even if she beats the felony charge. It’s not a career for alcoholics, and could lead to further self-destruction. Put the law degree to use, but not as a lawyer.

10

Gotta disagree here, Muffin. A sober alcoholic should be able to do just about anything. I’ve known recovering bartenders (not really recommended, but not impossible) and recovering pharmacists (quite doable, since they don’t generally have to see their customers tossing back their medication, in most cases). I’ve also known tons of recovering lawyers, and most are a credit to their profession, especially if they practice the principles of their recovery in all their professional dealings.

11

I’m not worried about the one’s who succeed. Good for them. What I am concerned about is the clients. Lawyers who do not handle their alcholism and end up self-dstructing often cause great harm not only to themselves, but also to their clients.

12

That’s a helluva point, Muffin. 'Course the same applies to a lot of professions, but it’s particularly scary when the person is in a position to directly affect your life/freedom.

13

If it helps, she took the California bar three times and failed it all three times. One of the reasons she moved to Texas was to take the Texas bar to see if she can pass it here.

So, she may have no choice but not to practice law.

Robin

14

There is always a need for good legal researchers. They have to know their law, and they can help develop case strategy, so it can be an intellectually challenging and fun career. They are supervised by their litigators, so falling off the path should not harm the clients.

15

Flunked three times? Impressive. No wonder she is having such difficulty handling her alcoholism.

Contact this person now. Ne shitteth vous pas.

Texas Lawyers’ Assistance Program, http://www.texasbar.com/members/buildpractice/tlap/whatis.asp
Ann Foster, afoster@texasbar.com
512-463-1453
1-800-343-8527

16

What? You can’t get sober unless you pass the bar? LOL.

17

Admittedly, MsRobyn didn’t mention it in her OP, but I can see where muffin may be thinking that the disappointment of failing the bar for the 3rd time may have triggered a relapse.

My god…if JFK Jr. had followed in Teddy’s footsteps, can you imagine his bar tab before he finally passed? :smiley:

jayjay

18

[getting on soapbox]There is never a good excuse for an alcoholic to take a drink. I didn’t take a drink when my daughter was diagnosed with a fatal illness, when my mom died unexpectedly, when my dad died agonizingly in front of my eyes, or when I had my heart attack. And if all goes as planned, I won’t take a drink today, either. [getting off soapbox]

An alcoholic who is not working an adequate recovery program will relapse over anything. Dog died? Take a drink! Cloudy out today? To hell with abstinence! But an alcoholic who is working an adequate recovery program no longer has to drink, no matter what happens!

19

Or muffin may have meant that failing the bar three times in a row might (might, dammit) shows a certain…well, not lack of stick-to-it-iveness exactly, but lack of focus.

20

I’m sorry, but I just don’t buy into the argument that an alcoholic following an adequate recovery program can deal with any and all stresses. Rather, I submit that part of an adequate recovery program should include learning how to predict and mitigate avoidable stress, and thus offer much better chances at successfully dealing with unavoidable stresses.

Many people find passing the bar extremely stressful, and this can wreak havoc with their alcoholism. They often perceive their careers and lives to be dependant upon passing the bar, and if they have failed or are in the process of failing their maximum permitted attempts, they find themselves at their wits’ end. That is a very rough spot for an alcoholic to find one’s self in. If a person is having difficulty keeping everything in balance, flunking the bar three times could reasonably be expected to push one over the edge. (I am assuming that flunking so many times is a result of alcoholism, and not some other problem.)

But that’s not the worst of it. By comparison to daily practice, bar exams are a cake walk. If forty-six year old Aunt Robyn is busting it up with cops at this point in her career, then it’s not hard to foresee a complete train wreck down the line when she faces significantly more stress than she does now. And if she pursues a career in law, she will face a great deal more stress than she is presently facing at the bar exams.

[ul][li]An ABA Young Lawyers Division survey from the early 1990’s indicated that 41 percent of female attorneys were unhappy with their jobs. (Debra Cassens Moss, Lawyer Personality, ABA Journal, Feb. 1991, at 34. )[/li]
[li]Seven in 10 lawyers responding to a 1992 California Lawyer magazine poll said they would change careers if the opportunity arose. (Maura Dolan, Disenchantment growing pervasive among barristers, Houston Chronicle, June 28, 1995, at 5A.)[/li]
[li]Of 103 occupations studied in 1990 by John Hopkins researchers, attorneys lead the nation in the incidence of depression. (Eaton, Occupations and the Prevalence of Major Depressive Disorder, 32 Journal of Occupational Medicine 1083 (1990) .)[/li]
[li]Eleven percent of lawyers polled in North Carolina in 1991 admitted they consider taking their lives at least once a month. (Maura Dolan, Disenchantment growing pervasive among barristers, Houston Chronicle, June 28, 1995, at 5A.)[/li]
[li]In 1996, lawyers overtook dentists as the professionals with the highest suicide rate. (Mary Greiner, What About Me, Texas Bar Journal, Sept. 1996.)[/li]
[li]Of the dozen lawyers with whom I have worked in the last few years, half of them have been forced out of the profession or have been sanctioned or suspended by the Law Society. Of those half-dozen, half of them self-destructed through alcohol. That’s alcohol bringing down a quarter of those with whom I’ve worked. Each one of them has devastated several of their own clients’ lives.[/ul][/li]
Dealing with alcoholism is tremendously complicated, but deciding whether or not to pursue a career in law is not. Either you love it, are good at it, and can handle it’s stresses, or you should leave it. It’s that simple. I wish that many lawyers and potential lawyers would recognize and accept this early on before they ruin their own lives and the lives of their clients.

Does a client deserve someone whose life is bottoming out and who has a sketchy knowledge of the law and legal procedure to be the one defending him against a malpractice suit, or getting custody of his kids, or handling his investment transactions, or keeping him out of jail for the rest of his life? Or instead does a client deserve someone who had done well in her exams, done well in her practice, and has her life in order? When playing for high stakes, the client’s stakes, it is important that one’s lawyer not drop the ball. Protection of the client’s interests through consistent, professional, high quality delivery of legal services is what should be the driving consideration as to who should become a lawyer.

Irrespective of where Aunt Robyn has been in her life, and irrespective of where she may go in her life, I submit that at this point in time she is off the rails, and until she gets her life in order and keeps it in order for a significant period of time, she should not pursue law further. If at some much later date she decides to try to gain entry into the profession, she should take a good hard look at what she is getting into and weigh that against what is best for herself with regard to her alcoholism. The last thing the profession needs is another train wreck. Protection of the clients must come first.