Friend Advice

I’m pretty good friends with an ex of mine (A). Last week she was working (server), figured she’d have a ton of free time, and I could come, read, and chat when she wasn’t actively busy. Another of her friends (B) was there too. It turned out to be really busy (didn’t talk with A at all for the hour I was there), so B and I took off, to meet up with A when her shift was over. A and B also dated in the past.

A couple days later, B e-mails me, just mundane things. I comment to A that I found it odd. A doesn’t think so. Tuesday B asks me to hang out, I accept, we play some board games and grab dinner. I talk to A about it later and she’s pissed.

My question is why? She hasn’t been in the talking mood. She mentioned something about jealousy. Does that sound like a reasonable thing? I don’t pick up on social cues very well (No, not a sdmb poster…) Of the two people I asked, one didn’t see why she’d be mad, and the other did, but is really bad at explaining things. So, am I an idiot, or is my friend nuts?

I might be able to give some insight from her angle. One time, I dumped my current girlfriend to start seeing another girl. That lasted about a week. Right after that, they started hanging out and becoming friends. I didn’t like it because I didn’t know what in the world they were talking about. I for sure didn’t hang out when they invited me. :slight_smile:

Are you and B candidates to date?

That’s my question. I’m not sure what the genders or preferences are from the OP.

I’m male and she’s female, but no. Not just a no, but a “fuck no.” A knows this too.

Maybe A thinks you are leading B on?

Does B know this? Maybe A is worried that B will get the wrong idea, then there will be drama, then she will have to listen to it … some people prefer that their friends and/or their exes stay in neater compartments.

B knows. We’re both very clear that there’s no relationship there.

I’ve been told that they don’t want the mixing, why? A has invited B and me together to social gatherings dozens of times. We’ve hung out in her presence many many times over the course of years.

My guess would be that A is worried that you two will become buddies and won’t call her as often, and she’ll become Wheel 3. Did either of you call A on Tuesday when you were meeting up?

But really I don’t think there’s enough info to go on. I think you just have to ask her directly what’s up, and if you have but she won’t tell you then no point in wasting your energy worrying about it.

See, this is why your exes should be your EXES - as in, former. Much simpler. :slight_smile:

So A and B are bisexual?

A is. B… well, I guess so. She’s never dated men, but she’ll sleep with them on occasion. That’s more that she’s bored and doesn’t care though, I think.

Neither of us talked to A before B and I met up. A was aware that B and I were e-mailing each other.

Jealousy sounds like the likely culprit, but I think A’s reaction is a bit strong for that.

So, do I have something to apologize for if that’s the case? Should I run something like that by her beforehand? Would the same be true if B and I hadn’t dated A?