Friend MIA

Hi All,

My friend and I use to be really close untill a couple of months ago when he got a girlfriend and has been MIA every since. Before that we would hang out and talk for hours on the phone. I exspected this would happen once he got a girlfriend so I backed way off to give him space since his GF should be the main girl in his life now, and because I didn’t want to get in their way. However, I am exspecting to have major surgery soon. I am going to be a living kidney donor and would really like to have my friends support. He has known about me doing this for quite some time and has been fully on board and said he would be their for me. Almost two weeks ago I contacted him to make sure it was ok to put him down as one of the people who I could contact for support after the surgery. The hospital I am doing the donation from is very adamant about having family or friends for support. I couldn’t reach him so left a text which he replied to stating that he wanted a sit down talk with me about this. I replied by telling him that was fine and let me know when he would like to talk. However, he never got back to me. I called and he picked up only to tell me he was to busy to talk. Since then I found someone else to put down as my support person. I contacted him again and when I told him (he asked) he seemed upset. Now I can’t get a hold of him at all. I have no close friends or family members. He was my only close friend. I miss him and hope I didn’t do anything to offend him. He simply won’t call or text me back. I’m not sure how I should take this.

Is it possible that your friend was hoping for a romantic relationship with you, and now that he’s got the girlfriend he’s trying to distance himself from those feelings?

By the way, you’re pretty amazing for donating a kidney. I know that’s not the point of this thread, but I had to say it.

I wouldn’t be surprised if the above was true.

I also wouldn’t be surprised if the new girlfriend is feeling a little jealous/possessive against you, the sweet/attractive/kidney-donating/close female friend. Not your fault, but the guy might not know how to gracefully manage that.