Have you done it?
With yourself, or people you know, has one of them fallen in love?
Was it the woman or the man or neither or both?
With a couple. None of us have fallen in love, and I’d expect things to end quickly should that happen.
It’s been going on for two months now.
I’ve done it once.
I don’t think she fell in love but she became pretty emotional and decided she wanted more.
Done it but I was a seasonal worker at the time so I always had an out. The female partner always grew attached to the point where it felt like I was using them, not good. But like I say after 6 months I was gone. Still good friends with all of them, but I had a built in excuse to leave.
At that time in my life that was all I was looking for. I couldn’t do it now because I’m looking for more and if I found it and lost it (or never found it at all) because of the FWB relationship, it would suck.
In such a thing now with two others. Its NOT a group thing, but enjoyable,
You left out:
He wanted more from him or fell in love with him.
and
She wanted more from her or fell in love with her.
That’s not what I’m trying to find out.
There was no she involved, but I found out when it ended (because I got into a relationship) that he had wanted it to go farther but never said anything. I also have had several others that never wanted anything more.
You also left out ‘All of the above’. Some of us have been at this sex and dating and whatever stuff a long time, you know. 
FwB can work fantastically under the right circumstances, but the right circumstances are different for every person, and at different times in every person’s life.
I’ve done it a few times, as have many of my friends, and we’ve experienced ‘all of the above’ and then some.
There is another one you left out - sex buddies.
I had a guy I would have sex with but I didn’t even call him “friend” because there was never any other social activity other than sex. I share my life with my friends; I dine with them, I go to movies with them, and I TALK to them. Not with this one guy.
But with this one guy, we would just text our availabilities and would occasionally hook-up when it was convenient for both of us. That was several years ago and it ended when our schedules didn’t meld for several weeks on end and I imagine he just went on to find someone else who had a less-busy schedule.
And to answer the genesis question, we met via Craigslist.
We married, 6 years later. Probably the first 4 years were a fuck buddy relationship.
It varied. Part of it has been what DianaG mentions… But I also had a “Who wanted more varied by season”.
When I was single, I had a fuck buddy who was very easy going. I’d get a page from her and when the opportunity was available I’d call her back. The conversation usually went something like this:
Me: Hey, you paged?
Her: What are you doing tonight?
Me: I’m on a date.
Her: Ok, can I come over after you take your date home?
It was like this for over a year when we both made the mistake of trying to take it to a more serious level. Our relationship was fun, satisfying, convenient and I learned a lot from the time we spent together. No regrets.
Looking back over all my relationships, only one could be described as “Friends with Benefits” - it was my best friend’s girlfriend, and I wound up living in her apartment, sleeping on the couch. We started with a 3-way, but eventually it was me with her during the week and him with her on the weekends when he was available. Eventually, they broke up and she moved away.
Sorry, Dopers, that the poll wasn’t better designed. Plz feel free to say answers that vary in the posts. Thanks.
I’m not answering because I can answer yes on all of those, and some options that aren’t listed.
Semi-hijack but topical:
I’ve heard it’s always the female who must propose this arrangement. Do you agree?
I don’t think it necessarily has to be the woman (as always, it depends on the particular people involved, and their relationship prior to being FWB), but I think it generally is, at least in actual *friends *with benefits situations, as opposed to fuckbuddies.
I think most guys aren’t that comfortable proposing it to a woman they genuinely like, because in their heads it always sounds like “Hey, I like you, but I don’t *like *you like you. Wanna fuck?” and is followed by thrown drinks and the prospect of now never bedding not only that woman, but all her friends who’ve been told what a cad he is. 
Honestly, in my experience, being FWB is seldom *proposed *by either party, at least not prior to sex. People usually have the “I like you, but I’m not looking for an SO” conversation either during breathing breaks in the makeout session leading up to the sex, or a little awkwardly after the sex.
People don’t, as a rule, sit down and have a rational conversation about the pros and cons of embarking on *any *sexual relationship. They just kinda roll with it, and see where they land. I’m not endorsing this (or not), just observing.
Reading this, much to my own astonishment, I admit that I did have a FB back in the 70’s during the disco days, when my friends and I spent every weekend night in THE big club. It was in a sketchy part of town populated by tough, working-class guidos (sorry, that’s what they were). Since we all hung out there so much, we got to know some of the locals. My particular FB was a brawny little guy, barely literate, about as bright as a 40 watt bulb, but remarkably funny. I didn’t know much about him, would never have dreamed of pursuing him as a love interest, he just wasn’t ‘dating’ material (and yes, he felt the same about me!). There was no depth to our ‘relationship’ at all. We just hung out, chatted, had a beer, and went out to breakfast (each paid our own way, of course, and I drove since he didn’t have a car) when the club closed. We hooked up about three times, and I can’t say it was a pleasant experience, but hook up we did. It ended after he went to Florida, got stranded there and called me about a dozen times whining he needed a plane ticket to get home, promising he’s pay me back…yeah, right! So I bought him his ticket and of course he avoided me like the plague, and that was the end of that. It was like a mindless three night stand, and a typical 70’s experience. Amazing, the biological imperative in 20 somethings.
I had this when I was younger. Sometimes you’d meet a guy that you were only interested in making the beast with two backs while in his presence, and in my college years, this was an acceptable arrangement. I’d occasionally stop by his dorm room while his roommate was gone, and we’d chat for a few minutes before hooking up. It didn’t last because he wasn’t that good and not willing to take direction.
Most of the FWB/sex buddies arrangements I’ve had have been the “negotiation-initiated” variety, mostly with the both of us flirting intensely with each other for minutes/hours/days/weeks beforehand. I am, however, not the norm in this department, as I generally tend to open up conversation more readily as to what I’m interested in and not interested in doing and have mostly picked up FWB/sex buddies while in the midst of conversation.
For me, I rarely got attached to the FWB/sex buddies, but some of them were short-term arrangements, while others were already friends that came in as an occasional entertainment/relief element and were not a permanent or regular occurrence. Most of the guys I was involved with in this arrangement were not “dating material” for me, but were perfectly fine for a session or two, and the rare woman involved was a “the more the merrier” inclusion and knew that it was a fun, stress-free and temporary situation. The one long-term FWB that lasted is the guy I’m married to; we gradually became more romantically inclined until it fell out of the “FWB” category into “relationship” category.