Yeah, right. “Where’s Cricket? I miss being bitten” actually is what her daughter said.
I don’t know what Mike Rounds’ plans are, but is it safe to assume if he retires in 2026 that Kristi “Cricket came at me like an animal” Noem will not be his replacement?
My thought as well. Her attempts to rewrite history are pathetic.
She’s republican. Everyone knows they don’t care about children after the child’s born.
“Where’s Cricket?” she said, looking anxiously in all directions for the attack dog she was afraid would bite her –
and who her mother had inexplicitly just taken out on a hunting trip, and shared a car with without, apparently, having the “vicious” dog restrained within the car.
Is she claiming to be dimwitted enough to think that because a dog will attack chickens, that means it’s bound to attack humans?
They are? We had various spaniels growing up (mainly Welsh Springer spaniels) and they were all classic gundogs. Very happy to chase game as noisily as possible and very please to bring back the game “you shot” (as we didn’t actually hunt that meant weeks old road kill typically 
), but utterly flummoxed and harmless if they actually caught up with a live animal.
The very act of putting that story in her book should be enough to make anyone question her sanity, or at least be concerned about other potential self-destructive behavior.
The key context is what led up to the event, as described in this Moral Philosophy lesson:
“Suppose you merely scolded your puppy, never punished him, let him go on making messes in the house… Then one day you notice that he is now a grown dog and still not housebroken – whereupon you whip out a gun and shoot him dead. Comment, please?”
“Why… that’s the craziest way to raise a dog I ever heard of!”
“I agree. Or a child. Whose fault would it be?”
“Uh … why, mine, I guess.”
“Again I agree. But I’m not guessing.”
–Robert A. Heinlein, Starship Troopers (emphasis added)
She’s repupblican, right? They’re afraid of everything!
Funny how that never came up the first time she told it…
Yeah, no matter how she frames it, she’s still wrong.
The particularly nasty part, as others have noted, was when she described the puppy having the time of its life going after those chickens. I grew up with a golden retriever (a red one - a proper hunting dog); we didn’t hunt, but that didn’t stop her from retrieving. After two occasions of having to get out of bed early and chase the dog around the yard to remove a bird from her mouth, Dad decided that the best approach would be to have someone outside with the dog to keep an eye on her. Problem solved! We also learned that she wouldn’t directly hand you whatever was in her mouth, but it was fairly easy to teach her “drop it!” She was a great help when small critters (mostly lizards) would get into the house; no one had to touch the thing, and the little critter could be released back outside to live its best life.
In conclusion, fuck Kristi Noem.
All I could think of was 
Thought #1: lol!
Thought #2: Neek‽
Kristi “Woof, Woof, Bang, Bang” Noem unwittingly births a kumbaya moment in Congress:
Noem is getting called out for other claims in her book, including an easily disprovable claim that she met with Kim Jong Un while she was in Congress and a recounting of an entirely innocuous conversation with Nikki Haley that she interpreted as being “threatened.”
Honestly, did anyone read over this thing before it went to the presses?
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/05/03/kristi-noem-book-excerpt-nikki-haley-dog-00155925
They were just supposed to buy the book, not read it!
I’d hate to be the person who advised her to add that tall tale.
I agree. Noem didn’t tell this story because she thought it would have political value to her. She told this story because she has mental problems and thought that killing animals is normal. She didn’t understand how other people would react when she talked about this.
Her editor had a meeting with her after reading the first draft.
Nobody has seen him since.
It would be really something if this turns out to be the thing that gets Republicans willing to talk with Democrats again.
(I don’t really suppose it’ll go any further than the dogs; but it’s nice to have a moment of hope, anyway.)
Told ya. Noem for Nobel Peace Prize for uniting all of us.
If the editor chased chickens and smelled bad, I think I know what happened to him.