You’ve admitted that you treat the forbidden expressions list literally. I suggest that people who want to get around that start spelling the words incorrectly. Heck, do the “ironic” bleeping thing.
IOW, go f*k yourself.
I commend the OP on parking near the back of the lot when with a larger vehicle. Depending on the size of the spaces, even if it’s not a large truck, it may still be bothersome because, even if it fits in the space, it may not leave a whole lot of room for people to get in and out. In fact, I have no problem with people taking up 2 or 4 spaces, provided they’re not taking up spaces that other people may want. Hell, I see it all the time even with cars that don’t need that much space, but where people just don’t want dings like Mercedes or other expensive cars. Similarly, a place I frequent for lunch is also visited often by firemen and they sometimes bring a fire engine and park it across 5-6 spaces in the back of the lot.
So, I’ll say the ticket writer was over the top. If the lot were nearly full or you were taking convenient spaces I might understand, but taking up more than one space isn’t an offense. Still, if it makes him feel better to say something about it, I’d sure as hell rather him write a quick ticket than key my car or deliberately bang it with his cardoor or whatever.
However, your reaction is also way over the top. Yes, you didn’t do anything wrong and he was silly, but getting upset over something so small and then reacting by promising to be a prick to other people? Do you get this upset when you get a real parking ticket under your wiper? What about when those silly advertisers put a flyer there instead? He didn’t do any damage to your truck.
So really, save your anger. You’d probably have gotten at least as much satisfaction if you hadn’t been angry and, instead, openned a MPSIMS thread making fun of the self-appointed parking nazi.
In the 1980s I had a book of tickets with a picture of Mickey Mouse giving the viewer the finger, with the words “Nice parking, asshole. Next time leave a fucking can opener so I can get out.” I enjoyed using them.
I would also have looked at the OP’s truck lasciviously, then made sweet love to it via the exhaust pipe.
Here, let me print this off for you. I’ll leave it on your windshield right under the windshield wiper. No charge, seeing as how you’re such a pleasant fellow.
I would also like to share with you that the reason they call them “sports cars” is because they actually have characteristics that can enhance the driving experience above and beyond the conventional. Your choice in vehicles suggests these capabilities aren’t of concern to you which is fine, but to mistake them for genetalia is either disingenuous or mind-bogglingly obtuse. Either way it does not speak well of how you view your place among others. Perhaps there are a number of things you could chill about that would benefit all that find themselves in your company.
If a guy that mad does horrible things to society, that’s his damage and he should go to jail. It’s a frigging note. Deciding everyone should refrain on commenting from jerkishness because the dickweed might escalate it into more jerkishness seems overly accommodating of people who do jerkish things.
I never really though notes were effective, but with this much of a reaction, more people should really be writing them. I figured they’d just be ignored, but that’s obviously not true.
Tssk Tssk Big T.
Who knew the next crop would be rolling in so soon.
We had those when I was in high school, in the mid-90’s, and everyone was giving them out to everyone as a joke thing. Hell I gave them out to my brother and my friends who had cars. It was all fun and games until one day a couple of guys got into a fight in the parking lot, supposedly over the Mickey Mouse thing I wasn’t there so I do not know for sure, and the next day over the intercom we were told the tickets were not allowed on campus any more.
I think I still have some. I’ll have to check when I get home.
Back at my old apartment we had pretty limited parking. We did our best, but somehow the builders didn’t assume everyone living there would, you know, have a car. Or ever have visitors. If I was lucky I’d be able to park quite close to the stairs to my door, though, as there were five parking spots nestled beneath it.
Two of them were frequently taken up by one of those pickups – you know, the steatopygian ones with an extra few feet of wheel well on either side? Handy for climbing muddy hills on the ranch but not so necessary for living in a tidy apartment complex in a decidedly urban neighborhood? One of those. Sometimes he parked directly on the line between two spots. And since he lived in my building, he parked there whenever he had the chance. That guy was a grade-A douche.
Parking in two spots distant from the store doors, the second spot taken up because the nose of the car is forward a few feet, is a grade-C douche at worst. Maybe not even a douche at all if the truck’s especially long and would otherwise stick out and impede traffic. Putting a home-printed ticket on it? Grade-school twerpery, worth a chuckle and a roll of the eyes.
Ranting about it, threatening random people, spazzing over the possibility that someone touched your precious car (what’s a pickup for? In normal pickup use it’s for loading up with stuff, hauling heavy and bulky things, and dragging trailers. I guaran-damn-tee that somewhere in that process something is getting touched), and posting a rant dripping with spittle on an anonymous message board?
Douchetastrophe. Or maybe you just picked a really good username.
Look, dumb stuff pisses everyone off, and it’s an entertaining rant, but for such a tiny thing you’ve spent a lot of energy. You could haul cows with that kind of power.
Two points for working steatopygian into a rant.
The parking lot at our office is usually pretty full but there was a guy with a new Beetle that would regularly park across two spaces. Directly over the line so he took them both up so one of the guys in our office left a note on his car after. I’m not sure what the note said but it probably was fairly polite. The person stopped taking two spots after that.
Success! 
When I was a young drinker, my friends and I went to a bar right after opening time. I parked across two spots right in front because (a) the parking lot was empty and (b) I was confident we’d be right back, because we were underaged and I was sure we’d be thrown out. Surprise! They served us! Fun party night follows!
We rolled back out about midnight – not so early if you’ve been drinking since 3 pm. The lot was full by that time and there was a pre-printed coupon of the kind jjimm is talking about on the windshield of my car. It said “If you fuck like you park, you’ll never get it in.”
But I was nineteen, drunk, and a girl. I had no idea what the note was saying. So I waved it around demanding that someone tell me what this means. Get what in? Get my car in? In where? When I’m fucking? Wha? My friends were laughing so hard one of them had to sit down in the parking lot. Finally a kind friend explained tht the note was written to a male driver. Oh.
Yup. In other words op, by letting this little action set you in a rage, the ticket writer won. You lost. And if you’re the self reflecting type, you need to ask yourself who’s a bigger asshole- one that would post a phony ticket on someone’s windshield, or one that challenges innocent people to fights? One that writes a phony ticket, or one who is going to ruin things for others and claim that it’s someone else’s fault?:
I hate when someone puts a rant in the pit and then people say, “dude, you are so angry over this that you are talking about it on a message board three days later??” So the fuck what? That is what this message board is for. If everyone decides to be all reasonable and understated and calm, then we would be missing out on all our entertainment in the pit. Come on.
Maaan, this thread has got a ton of funny. Kaylasdad in particular, but so many other funny ass posts has slid in under the radar, I am cracking up at work.
Oh settle down- I don’t leave anon notes. I’m just laughing at the over the top FURY that the OP shows. Seriously, get a grip and try some deep breathing exercises or something. As if it’s the note leavers fault if some nutjob goes shooting up a Wal-Mart in a rage or something. Please. Yes, I find out of proportion overreactions and drama hilarious. Evil, thy name is BoBettie.
Nice.
I… agree with you.
Let’s never do this again.
Okay, maybe it’s the fact that I finally have seen enough Star Trek to get these kinds of references, but this made me giggle uncontrollably.
Sombody’s got a full diaper.
I actually can agree with the OP to the extent that I think giving someone a “parking ticket” for this is assholish. Why are people’s first instincts to be dicks about stuff? The OP parked slightly over the line. Party foul, fine. How about leaving anot that said, “I appreciate the fact that you parked way out here, but just a little common courtesy can go a long way. Certainly I don’t beleive there is any poor intent on your part, but please park in one spot in the future.”
Of course that is a bit inconvenient than just leaving a jerkish “Parking Ticket” that you printed up so that you have a hundred handy dick slips.
Man, the Pit got declawed recently.