Soon comes the time where all that I have on my basic TV is Golf. Weekend Afternoons blow for Television. Can’t the networks throw me a bone and slip on an old episode of MAS*H or something? Anything? I have nothing against golf I just hate it when it is the only thing on TV. It’s either golf or Beastmaster, Relic Hunter or some other crap show that only comes out on the weekend, like the Grim Reaper to tap me on the shoulder and breathe slow deep death into my face.
What the hell am I suppossed to do? Spend time with my family?! HA!
I need one of those new things, you know, those things that record all the shows so you can see them later and keep you ever so entertained, you know, a woman.
So Golf, Eat shit, go away from the Weekend TV lineup and replace yourself with somehting more entertaining. One channel for golf each weekend. Watch the ratings go through the roof.
how just too exquisitely witty and humourous! A woman! Goodness me if you were really lucky she might even clean! And do blow jobs.
Or you could just learn to program the VCR. I hear that even kids can do it so there might be hope for you. One day. with remedial training.
:wally
Shucks, I wuz gonna say that, but Primaflora beat me to it.
I’m quick enough to kiss a chicken’s ass without getting feathers in my mouth, but you guys are too fast for me.
My father watches the Golf Channel. I’m so ashamed. :
:
I own a single golf club. It’s some kind of a wedge. Some company sent it to me as a freebie. Now all I need to do is convince a whole bunch of other companies to send me different clubs and I’ll have a full set that I never use.
Hmm, I understand the situation but I fail to see the problem.
Then again, I like to watch the infomercials on the Golf channel…
It occurs not to you that Mercutio may have been being ironic? A clue to the notion that he knows that his rant is ultimately about something a bit sad is the reference to turning OFF the TV. I doubt that he really believes that women exist to operate his video for him.
Honestly people - I know that sarcasm is hard to pick up in the written word, but some of you really need a crash course in irony.
pan
could be worse, up here we can get Canadien TV and sometimes they show curling. That game involving pushing a rock across the ice and sweaping the ice to make it go further.
**Mercutio wrote:
Soon comes the time where all that I have on my basic TV is Golf. Weekend Afternoons blow for Television. Can’t the networks throw me a bone and slip on an old episode of MAS*H or something? Anything? I have nothing against golf I just hate it when it is the only thing on TV. It’s either golf or Beastmaster, Relic Hunter or some other crap show that only comes out on the weekend, like the Grim Reaper to tap me on the shoulder and breathe slow deep death into my face.
What the hell am I suppossed to do? Spend time with my family?! HA!**
WOW! Do I have just the thing for you! It’s this great, low-tech device that not many people have heard of today. They’re rather plentiful and easy to get ahold of; infact, most towns and cities have huge repositories of them, even tho they’re seldom used. It requires no batteries and is completely portable. It requires no programming and even a child of 5 can use it.
They come in a variety of colors and can be adapted to fit any life-style. In fact, they’r so flexible in their usage they can cover any topic/idea/concept imaginable.
It’s called: A BOOK!!!
alibey, a couple of years ago, I lived in a hotel in Toronto for about four months. On nights when I had nothing to do, I would go to the hotel bar to hoist a few. As it was off-season for most sports, the television was always showing curling. As I got drunker, I grew to love it though I never understood the rules that well. I particularly liked the women’s championship. They all looked so wholesome! I fantasized about being on tour with them as their kept boy toy. Alas, some dreams are best left unfulfilled. When curling wasn’t on, then the sport would instead be the world’s strongest man competition, which always seem to be dominated by a fleshy mountain called Magnus Von Magnusson, or some such. By comparison, curling rocked. I actually miss it here in the states.
As for the OP: it could be worse. They could show fishing shows.
pan
then by all means please read my post as a shining example of irony and sarcasm. I think you have an equal chance of being right that I am/was being sarcastic.
As somewhat of a newbie, I am starting of list of the good and the bad.
Kabbes, you rock.
Welcome to the good list.
And yes, I still do dread tommorrow.
I’d take the book because Goddess knows you sure as shit won’t get the blow job. Yeah, me and all the other ladies took a poll and you are the least likely to get blown in the new year. Hey! Congratulations! You made it to “least likely to get blown”. You should feel proud!
Uuhhmmm . . . O . . K . . You do that. backs away slowly
You people do need a refresher course in sarcasm.
Well then? Where is this refresher course in sarcasm? And It better be good because so far the subtleties of your wit and wisdom is escaping the audience.
Golf is actually quite exciting. Really.
Tomorrow’s lesson will involve the subtleties of nachos – and don’t forget to do your homework!
Lesson number one: when someone refers to something being “new” which has existed for several thousand years, chances are good that he’s not being serious.
Lesson number two: if someone says something like:
chances are he’s not being serious.
I’m not sure why you consider it Mercutio’s responsibility to provide you with common sense.
PHEW!!
(I’m not only one who fantasizes about the women’s curling teams).
This is slightly off-topic, but I wanted to comment on the title of this thread.
I recite the thread title approximately four times per round.
That is all. Carry on.