So, it’s a nice sunny Sunday lunchtime, I’m standing at the bar with my girlfriend, just trying to pay for our drinks. That’s all folks. No hand holding, no snogging, just standing there. Pissed neanderthal starts throwing out remarks:
“Look, two dykes”
Ignore him…
“Fucking carpet-munchers”
Back stiffens
“you should’ve been put down at birth, you fucking dykes”
All in a nice family-orientated pub surrounded by yummy families staring into their drinks.
Well do you know what, dickwad, I wouldn’t put you down at birth beacuse I’m a nice person, but I’d happily nail your limp cock to the nearest garbage truck.
Oh, and while I’m at it, Mr Landlord, when one of your customers complains about being abused by this agressive, frankly scary, piece of shit, how about you throw him out, eh? Telling him to ‘keep it down, there’s children in here’ really doesn’t cut it.
Aw fuck, You should’ve nailed his limp cock to a garbage truck. Or whispered your intentions in its ear so the “families” wouldn’t get offended. Damn that sucks. Don’t know what I would do if some stranger behaved is such way towards me or my loved ones. I think I’d feel murderous rage.
Heck, even if they were showing affection I wouldn’t think anything of it. Unlike straight men, straight women are “allowed” to be affectionate in public.
I do want to point out that “There are children here” is sometimes a euphemism for saying “You are acting like a jerk.” The difference is, the person can’t respond negatively to the former without looking like a jerk. The latter may start a fight with somebody like that.
(I’m assuming you meant the guy in charge at the restaurant. When I hear “landlord”, I think of somebody who owns your house. But you didn’t mention the guy lived there…)
As for the dickwad in the OP, look at it this way:
He’s probably just grumpy because he can’t get laid and is blaming it on the fact that any woman who turns him down must be a lesbian rather than someone repulsed by his innate “charm”; and
At least he’s admitting that lesbians are gay from birth, rather than it being a choice.
You have my deepest sympathies, SanVito. It’s at times like that I wish people around him had taken the initiative to tell him to shut the bloody hell up. Bigots like that, drunk or otherwise, do tend to get a very good clue when his intended audience tells him they don’t want to hear it. The landlord should have thrown the guy out, too.
Why do you think he assumed you were gay, SanVito? Since you say there was no obvious PDA, are you… um… flamboyant in the way you dress? You know, your tribe’s traditional garb (cutoff flannel shirt, spiked hair, doc martens, etc)? Or was it obvious you had just come off the golf course? Did you have Indigo Girls ticket stubs in your hand?
And if you were of what I’ve heard referred to as the lipstick variety, then wtf? I can’t imagine the dude goes around saying that to every female twosome he comes across, can he?
Huh… and all this time I thought men liked lesbians. At least thatt’s the impression I got from all the girl/girl stuff in straight porn. Men are supposed to only have problems with gay men because since straight men are so darn attractive to the gays they can’t help but try to recruit them. :rolleyes:
chela, I don’t know if I would recommend whispering that in his ear. It sounds like that would be the type of guy to get physical.
I think the “keep it down, there’s families here” comment was probably the landlords attempt to stop it without escalating the situation. If you can do that you are much better off. If the situation escalates and you ask that belligerant schmuck to leave you can guarantee that he will get loud and disturb a lot more people than you and your girlfriend. Then they lose more than just you and your gf as some of those families would surely not come back either.
All of that said, that guy was an asshole who should have his limp dick nailed to a garbage truck.
Naw… that girl-girl stuff in porn is just straight chicks so horny they’ll do each other to keep from going crazy until a Real Man ™ show up to give 'em what they REALLY want!
And yes, his limp dick should have been nailed to a garbage truck.
hm, I know 3 24 hour garbage companies outside the metro NY area, and in most parts of metro NY garbage is hauled overnight so it doesnt impact traffic …
I’m convinced that there’s a huge market for hot lesbians in porn that don’t like the cock. I want my lesbians actually digging each other, not just waiting around for a dude to show up and ruin the mood.
The other day my wife and I were at lunch when I spied two women I thought were a couple. It had nothing to do with their manner of dress and they weren’t showing any overt signs of public affection. It had more do to with their body language and the way they were looking at one another. While that’s hardly a scientific criteria in this case I was correct about one of them as she turned out to be one of my wife’s undergraduate assistants from years past. Arkansas really is a small state. So it’s possible that Mr. Bigot read some subtle social cues that led him to believe SanVito and her friend were more than just friends.
“Nigel! I didn’t see you there. If you’d have been able to make me come, I wouldn’t have become a dyke. No hard feelings - can I get you a cider? Or something stiffer?”
