?Fair weather friends can go fuck themselves up the ass sideways with their social niceties (no offence to back-yard sports enthusiasts).
There was a time in my life when I became somewhat cynical when someone casually asked me “Hey, how are ya?”. I would actually answer the truth (“Pretty shitty today, how about you?). Very confusing for most. But hey, my trust in human nature and the basic goodness in all of us won out and I recovered from that phase.
HOWEVER!
My long-time spouse and myself have split up. I am also trying to deal with a long-term depression. When friends and co-workers learned of this, I got lots of support and words of sympathy. “If there’s anything you need, call me anytime.” “I’m there for you.” But when I get lonely and I need company, where the fuck are you? I call you to see if you want to play pool/go see a movie/go for dinner/have a conversation. You’re busy today. OK. You’re busy tomorrow. OK. You’re busy for the fucking rest of the year? What the fuck is this? Whatever happened to “Call me anytime”?
Do you think I’ll cry on your shoulder? Do you think I’ll talk about my ex all night? Do you think I want a sympathy fuck? Do you imagine that I can’t smile or laugh anymore? NOBODY DIED! I just want to get out of the fucking house and do something with someone! I need to rebuild my social circle. Do you think if we go bowling once I’m gonna call you 3 times a day and bug the crap out of you with my needy rantings? For fuck’s sake, I’m still the same person! I’m NOT fucking contagious! I’m not gonna fall down and have a fit in the middle of the restaurant! It’s getting difficult to have meaningful and intelligent conversations with my dog!
So all you fucking cowardly superficial one-dimensional insincere trivial immature shallow phony so-called “friends” out there, FUCK YOU and your social niceties. PUT UP OR SHUT THE FUCK UP! Express your sympathy BUT DON’T FUCKING OFFER HELP AND SUPPORT if you’re not gonna GIVE IT!!!
I was told writing was cathartic, so why don’t I feel better?
What does ‘Fair weather friend’ mean I’ve never come across the expression?
It’s an American expression for someone who seems to be a friend when everything is great in your life (when the weather is fair), but is no where to be found when things aren’t so good and you need some support (when there is a storm).
Sorry to hear about your problems, AngelFelina.
IIRC, it is someone who is your friend when it suits them.
Like someone who only goes outside when the weather is fair.
(I hope I got that right…)
I think Porc put it better…
Well, I’ve been beat to the Fair-Weather definition, so I’m snipping that out. Suffice it to say that fair weather friends suck.
That being said AngelFelina, I totally feel your pain. I’m recently uncoupled myself, and have realized that my entire social world consists of my kid, my dog, and the cat I got for Christmas that won’t come out from underneath the bathtub. If you weren’t all the way up there in Canada, I’d go play pool with you at the drop of a hat.
bella
AngelFelina, if people are pretending to be your friends and then seriously blowing you off, then that sucks, and they suck as well.
However, there were times when I was lonely myself, and the way it wreaks havoc with the self-esteem can sometimes cause you to see things in a skewed way. There were times when I was convinced people were avoiding me, but looking back I think they were just busy at that particular time and probably would have made plans for a later date if I had been willing.
I don’t know the details of your situation, so I don’t know if this is the case with you, but look out for it. Low self-esteem is a killer.
I see your point, cuauhtemoc, sometimes people need to be chased a bit to get them to commit to a trip to the pub.
But I agree with you, AngelFelina, it’s pretty crappy of your ‘friends’ to expect you to do this in your circumstances. They should be making time for you.
I say if you’re going to go chasing friends, go chase yourself some new ones ! 
And my thoughts are with you in this lonely new year, in what is doubtless a cold and snowy city … things will perk up, I promise.
Thanks, everyone. I do have good friends who are supportive - helps a lot. I’m just annoyed at the triviality of some social behaviours. When someone says “Hey, call me!”, it’s sometimes difficult to do when you’re feeling down. You feel you’re imposing. So when I get blown off, it’s a double-whammy.
cuauhtemoc, I did offer to set a later date, but all I got was “I’ll call you back.” I understand it’s the holidays and everyone’s busy. We’ll see how things go in the new year and when I go back to work.
cowgirl, thanks for your kind thoughts. It is cold, but unfortunately there is no snow yet. So on top of it all, the city is ugly, grey and filthy. URGH!
I know things will get better - I remember what it’s like to live alone and be happy. However, it’s shitty in the meantime and I’m feeling quite sorry for myself today. In a couple of weeks, I’m starting a pottery class. Hopefully there’ll be nice people there and I may make new friends.
To all - may the best moment of 2002 be the worst of 2003. Have a good one!