Have you seen this commercial? It’s for one of the national pizza-made-of-cardboard chains, Dominos I think. They’re giving away fudge brownie bites with orders and they’ve created this mascot, Fudgeums. Fudgeums is a giant, furry, walkin’ around on two little legs turd. In the commercial the pizza driver is taking Fudgeums around to someone’s house to introduce him. The disgusting walking turd bobs up and down on its little legs in front of this woman, and she’s so charmed by this display of bowel movement that she pats it, and her palm comes back covered in diarrhea. Then her daughter declares her love for the grotesque fur-turd and hugs it, and comes away coated in liquid shit.
Reminded me of a South Park episode, some kind of giant cubical Mr. Hankey. I gagged the first time I saw the commercial, and it sure didn’t make me want to try their brownies. (I’m cringing just writing this)
What were they thinking? Were they thinking? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THOSE PEOPLE???
I’d never seen this before, so I clicked on Papermache’s link. I didn’t see what the big deal was, until I clicked on the “Watch Fudgeums Dance” button. My God. Static, it’s not that bad, but in motion, it’s utterly horrifying. It wiggles in ways fudge was not meant to wiggle. It’s worse than an animated turd. It’s brown tofu!
I think it’s funny, but I think the average consumer should be offended at how stupid Domino’s thinks (knows?) they are.
I think that’s the only reason I find it amusing. These people get (chocolate?) all over them and smile and take it - and actually PAY for it. Dumb little consumers. Here, here, here’s some chocolate.
That said, I actually WANT to try the brownie bits they came out with. I worked at Domino’s for two years and I loved their cinnastix. I think I’ll also get a tub of the icing and see which tastes better.
I’ve actually had their brownies. They’re not bad, but really too rich. Fudgeums is admittedly scary, though. But I do think Fudgems could stop the Noid.
Reminds me of those cubed, fudgie, appetite suprressants that were all the rage in the 80’s…forget what they are called. Instead of eating something real, you’d eat a weird, brown, plastic, cube and hit yourself up with some stimulant. It had many of the same amorphous characteristics of fudgie…what is the CGI terminology for fudgie’s mapping, flubber? Of course they perfected natural titty undulent… now we get fudgie…natural geometric progression.
Otto, I felt exactly the same way when I saw this ad. My first reaction was, “Ewww, gross!” Ol’ Fudgems is about as appealing as the Mucinex snot ball!
BTW, your post is hilarious, and I especially laughed at the descriptive phrase “fur-turd!”
Otto,
I’ll bet your OP is much more entertaining than the show surrounding the commercial! I could have used a warning, though: I just about blew a dessert blueberry out of my nose from the gales of laughter caused by your synopsis.
