Fun facts about Jack Bauer

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

Thirty facts about Jack

It’s even better than the facts about Chuck Norris.

[Wolfian]

It was only a matter of time. My favorite:

Jack Bauer killed 93 people in just 4 days time. Wait, that is a real fact.

[Mr.Blue_Sky]

I liked:

“Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.”

[Waenara]

Ha! I liked:

“Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.”

[Greywolf73]

Heh:

Jesus died and rose from the dead in 3 days. It took Jack Bauer less than an hour. And he’s done it twice.

[interface2x]

I also enjoyed:

“1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.”

[c_goat]

My favorite: “Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk”

[chrisk]

I dunno… most of this just looks like boilerplate badass hyperbole, with a few terrorist references threw in.

I did chuckle at the idea of Jack beating up kiefer sutherland. “Nobody plays Jack Bauer, hollywood boy. Get that?! NOBODY!!”

[Kythereia]

These are hilarious. I’m emailing them to my fellow 24-watcher from high school.

[friedo]

I still think the Chuck Norris ones are funnier.

And that settles it. In a fight to the death between Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, Chuck would win, and Jack would die.

But then Jack would come back to life.

[some_white_dude]

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice.

I like this one.

[panamajack]

Best oogleGay adsay ever. (Lfe insrance)

I wonder if Jack Bauer makes all his money that way.

[Kat]

@friedo

I still think the Chuck Norris ones are funnier.

And that settles it. In a fight to the death between Chuck Norris and Jack Bauer, Chuck would win, and Jack would die.

But then Jack would come back to life.

After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick. Jack Bauer caught it.

[carnivorousplant]

@Kat

After arguing over what was the better show, 24 or Walker Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris went to attack Jack Bauer with his trademark roundhouse kick.

Jack cried, “If you do this, thousands will die!” and pumped fourteen rounds from his 9mm into Norris.

[Max_the_Immortal]

“The real reason the Army ditched the Army of One campaign? Jack Bauer sued for copy right infringement.”

Heh.

[Marley23]

Besides- Jack would fight that Army of One and kick its ass. But my favorite is this new-ish one:

If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.

[Meeko]

I like the Macguyver one as well.

However, on the 93 people in 4 days. That is NOT a span of 96 hours

it has been years from one season to the next.

[Marley23]

@Meeko

However, on the 93 people in 4 days. That is NOT a span of 96 hours

it has been years from one season to the next.

Sure, but he’s killed 93 people in the four days we know about. That has to count for something. I forget how many people he’d killed in Season Five so far, but I I think he’s just passed 100 people in 100 hours. Take any 100 hours from anybody’s life and see if they come close to that.

[DMark]

“Jack Bauer’s parents threw him a surprise party for his birthday when he was a child. Once.”

That made me laugh out loud.

My fact:

Jack Bauer has not had a bowel movement in five years. It explains a lot.

[pretend_my_name_is_witty]

“Jack Bauer can divide by zero.”

Brilliant.