Fun With Drunk People!

I’m finally starting to understand why some of the people in my non-drinking thread told me to stand around and laugh at the drunk people. A True Story:

I went to a Halloween party last night and had a blast. I came home around 1:30 AM, and I notice there are three people standing just inside the building I live in. You need a key-card to open the door from the outside. The doors just push open from the inside.

These three people are so fucked up they cannot open a door. They’re all holding half-empty forties with one hand and scrabbling at the glass with the other and going “Let us out! Let us out!”

Drunks: Please let us out!

Daowajan: Only if you dance first!

Drunks: Whaaat?

Daowajan: DANCE!!

Drunk: You’re meeeaaaannn!!

Daowajan: Make with the dancing!

***Drunk stumbles around in a circle. Daowajan lets them out, and they pass by with real gratitude in their soused eyes. Daowajan wonders how the hell they’re going to get into the next building they encounter. “Dude, there’s like this thing holding the door shut!” “Well, pull HARDER!” “I can’t, dude! It’s like, a lock or something!”


Heee! Playtime with Drunks was one of my favorite games in college. My friends and I took our butt breaks in the breezeway of my dorm. Thursday, Friday and Saturday latenights we would see all the drunkies stumbling home. More often then not they would have forgotten their keys and the doors all locked at 8pm. They would stagger towards us and then ask us if we could please please please let them in. At this point the game begun:

Me Are you the gatekeeper?

Confused Drunk Wha?

Me Are you the gatekeeper?

Even More Confused Drunk Uuum. No?

Me Sorry, I forgot my key too.

Yeah, I guess it was kind of mean and I feel sort of bad and sort of like a geek now, but it still makes me laugh.

There were a few that answered me correctely with “Are you the keymaster?” this always led to great joy on my part (along with use of my key).

Kicking this one up to the main page. Not everyone has been amused yet.

It’s even better when they’re your friends. Classic: give them a Dixie cup (4 oz or so) full of water, and tell them it’s a shot glass. I’ve done this twice; once it resulted in water being spewed all over the place, and the second time she managed to keep it all in, but we were all laughing so hard she had to run (and I mean RUN) to the garbage can to spit it out.
Well, it was funny to me.

Water? You didn’t spike it with Visine or anything? (okay, that’s just mean.)

Damn dude, remind me to never, ever get drunk around you! -shivers- Yiiiikes.

What, me? Hell, you think THAT was bad?!

We once convinced a friend who was high that, in addition to getting drink refills at McDonalds, they’ll refill your fries if you pester them enough. He was trying for like 10 minutes to get a fries refill. They had to call in the manager. I almost pissed myself laughing. Then, as we were leaving, he tore open that straw bucket thing, grabbed two full handsfull of straws, and RAN. I almost didn’t make it out of there, I was laughing so hard I couldn’t see. I have no idea what he did with the straws.

Damn, I thought this thread was going to be a dopefest recap.

There are usually a lot of drunk people on my floor on Friday and Saturday nights. One time, I was sitting outside with the phone, talking there so I wouldn’t wake my roommate, and two drunk guys sit down next to me. One of them puts his arm around my shoulder, and the other takes the phone, and asks who it is.

He then proceeds to have a long conversation with my my friend on the other end of the phone. Things we found out about this random guy:

1.) His name is Steve.
2.) He needs to piss.
3.) He lives in room 203
4.) He’s not from the South, but everyone thinks he is.
5.) He needs to piss.

Not quite fun with drunks, but…generally, when my boyfriend and I want to plan an extended stay at his house, he asks his mom while she’s drunk. :o

This is fun, but can also be really useful if you have to deal with an out-of-control person who is really drunk.

Get them to hold their breath - dare them, or make a bet, whatever. If they are drunk enough they will pass out after 15 seconds or so.