Funniest Product Description I've Seen in a While. .

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

While searching for items at my local grocery store’s website, the list included “Buffalo Trace.” Naturally, I had to find out what that was. What I found was a description so profoundly man-oriented it is right up there with the pancake mix thread. I also can’t help thinking that they are trying to subtlety hint at it’s onanistic uses. Tell me I’m wrong:

“Oak barrel. Woodsy. Amber. Shower Like a Grown Man: Fact: Teenage body washes are weak, watered down, and smell like a freshmen dorm room. Simply put, they don’t get the job done. Hard-working men require a shower of substance to accomplish a full day’s work. That’s why Duke Cannon’s Thick is formulated with a noticeably higher viscosity and built to work effectively on your body, not spew down the shower drain. This woodsy, oak barrel scent is inspired by the rack houses at our favorite place in the world, the Buffalo Trace Distillery. Plant-based thickeners for superior lather. Mineral enriched to subtly exfoliate. Aloe vera to hydrate and protect. Bonus: No loofah required. 3x thicker than teenage body wash. Naturally derived fragrance. Paraben, phthalate, and cruelty free. Not for clowns. A portion of proceeds benefits U.S. veterans. Cruelty free. Never tested on animals. Just bad interns. Duke Cannon always recycles. Made in USA.”

Here are some of there other scents. I wonder what “Naval Diplomacy” smells like? :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

2

Well, they’ve lost my business.

3

It used to be called “Naval Supremacy”, so I assume diesel.

4

“Spew” was the giveaway.

5

But “No loofah required”? I’ve never considered using a loofah for that purpose, and now that I’ve considered it, I wish I hadn’t.

6

I’m not a big fan of using liquid soap in the shower because it’s too runny; it sounds like I’m supposed to be the target market. I didn’t really get a whack off vibe from the description, but I can see how others might.

7

I’ve seen the Duke Cannon line. I don’t know if they’re trying to appeal to the manly man market, the novelty gifter market, or the bear market

8

I’ve used their thick products for a few years. It does not run down the drain. Also has a little “grit” in it to exfoliate if you are into,that sort of thing. Available at Duluth Trading as well as other places.

9

I always read the descriptions in my inner Ron Swanson voice.

10

:grin:

11

But does it have actual pumice stone in it like one of my girly pink-bottled body scrubs?