“You’re only smilin’/ When you play your violin” (Abba- Dum dum diddle)
“I’m as serious as cancer/ When I say rhythm is a dancer” (Snap- Rhythm is a Dancer)
“Bermuda Triangle/ Where people disappear/ If you see it from my angle/ Just don’t go near” (Barry Manilow- Bermuda Triangle)
And some great song titles:
Youth Culture Killed My Dog - They Might Be Giants (‘the white funk and the hip-hop just blew my puppy’s mind’)
If You Can’t Live Without Me, Why Aren’t You Dead Yet?- Unknown
And the unclassifiable:
“There’s not I think a single episode of Dallas that I didn’t see”- Abba- The Day Before You Came. As Tony Hawks comments in his book One Hit Wonderland, “there’s not a finer example of lyric writing that I didn’t see- or do I mean the opposite?”
And a song that I can’t remember clearly but it had a verse as follows:
Wouldn’t it be funny
If we had lots of money
We could eat bread and honey
And listen to Echo and the Bunny-
It’s not exactly a one liner, but I like this exchange in MF Doom’s Let Me Watch
Nikki: I’d rather masturbate than fuck with Vik Vaughn
Vik Vaughn: Let me watch!
I suppose it helps to know that Vik has just spent the entire song trying to get Nikki into the sack, before she blew him off after he said something nasty to her. Still, he won’t give up.
Probably the funniest song I know. Every line is a one-liner.
{Edited to remove the lyrics to a complete song. Not allowed here, sport. Read the 'structions. – Ukulele Ike, moderator}
'I’m a half-breed, just look at me, my skin is fair yet tanned, I don’t know what the hell I want, so 1-2-1-2-3 slam" “kinky hair when I wake up, it’s straight when I go to bed, my mommy is just a honky, don’t know what she just said, my daddy is just a negro, not one to play golf, I don’t know the hell I am so 1-2-1-2-3 slam”
Guttermouth.
The opening and title track to the Smith’s masterpiece The Queen Is Dead.
Tucked into a song that discusses, amongst other things, the state of Britain in the 80s, drug abuse, loneliness, homosexuality, and of course, the Royal Family, there is a gem of a stanza in which Morrissey responds to the public mockery of his musical abilities.
“And so I broke into the Palace
with a sponge and a rusty spanner
she said, ‘Hey I know you, and you cannot sing’
I said, ‘that’s nothing - you should hear me play piano’”
And then, without a pause, he resumes his lyrical regicide…one of the funniest and coolest moments in music history, methinks.
-Just read over my post. :smack: I think you just got to hear it to understand.
“A stranger came to town and asked me why,
instead of pulling in again I don’t just pass it by?
But all my friends are buried here and some of them are dead,
so home is where I’ll always hang my head.”
From: Godforsaken Hellhole I Call Home by the Austin Lounge Lizards
“There’s No Business Like Show Business” by Irving Berlin from the play of the same name.
“…some great Shakespearean feat
where a ghost and a prince meet
and everything ends in mince meat…”
“Oh, How I Hate to Get Up in the Morning” by Irving Berlin – written during WWI but very popular with GI’s during WWII as well.
“Someday I’m going to murder the bugler
Someday they’re going to find him dead
I’ll amputate his reveille
And step upon it heavily
And spend the rest of my life in bed”
“Seen the lights of cities and been inside their doors
Sailed to foreign countries and walked upon their shores
I guess the guy she married was the best part of my luck
She dug him cause he drove a pick-up truck”
“When the weather gets rough
And it’s whiskey in the shade
It’s best to wrap your savior
Up in cellophane
He flows like the big muddy
But that’s ok
Pour him over ice cream
For a nice parfait”
Ahhh, another Austin Lounge Lizards fan! This thread reminded me of another ALL song I like–Hot Tubs of Tears Over You
“Well our love was an expressway from the start
And you took the fast lane to my heart
And now my eyes, like L.A. skies, are smoggy and damp,
Why did you take the nearest exit ramp?”