Funny IRC Quotes

[Amp]

The top 50 funniest IRC quotes from bash.org

My favorite:

<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!
<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
<glome> Who me?!
<content> Yes you!
<glome> Couldn’t be!
<content> Then WHO?!!
<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!
*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (fuck you i didn’t touch the motherfucking cookie, bitch)

[Coldfire]

Ye Gads. Just don’t click on the “Bottom 50” link. :eek:

[Spit]

That first one is GREAT!

[Rilchiam]

<Opcode> i was gonna call 911…but i was downloading a file

What’s scary is that I didn’t find that entirely outlandish.

[OpalCat]

<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother’s window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> “i want to suck on your clit”
<ohm> FUCK
BAAAHAHAA
Probably not true, but hilarious anyway

[OpalCat]

<madthink> what does putting sugar in someones gas tank do
<maff> I heard when you start the engine cinnamon rolls come out
<maff> with frosting and everything
<madthink> i need to get revenge in the worst way
<maff> cinnamon rolls arent really revenge
pee

[Rilchiam]

<Kazz> Do vampires have anuses? Cause that’s why I wouldn’t let this kid invade a vampire’s anus in this RPG, right, I was GMing, and his character was an Anus Shade, with the power to possess and control the anuses of people and animals… and I figured that vampires don’t have anuses.
<Zaratustra> a vampire’s anus is present, but non-working.
<Zaratustra> like a network card without the appropriate driver.
<Kazz> Wow. You’re the biggest dork on Earth.
<Sharkey> And you’re DMing an rpg with Anus Shades.

[Rilchiam]

I wonder what ages these people are.

<turno> I want to f… Michelle’s brains out with my huge f… c…, over and over again … and then her sister can come and join us too.
<Seeker> Err turno, your mom reads the quotes on bash.org?
<turno> I’ll f… KILL YOU! !
<Seeker> Your mom does work for the church ? If she reads what you just said she’d be pretty angry right?
<turno> Dude you have no f… clue, don’t seriously… you’d be ruining my life.
<Seeker> Don’t worry, I won’t post it.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> Hey dude, I’m gonna paste something - will you post it on bash.org?
[Privmsg] <opiate> the turno thing? haha you f… bastard!!
[Privmsg] <Seeker> hehe his mom’s gonna f… kill him, drag him to that church they go to and get the priest to sodomise him.
[Privmsg] <opiate> yeah and then he’s gonna come f… kill us, still I reckon it’s worth it;)
[Privmsg] <turno> You’re not gonna post it are you ? Please don’t … I’m begging you.
[Privmsg] <Seeker> I’m not gonna post it:) and even if I did she’d never know that your nick turno was her son Michael Savu .
[Privmsg] <turno> phew spose you have a point