FYI: A lady's corset provides minimal protection against a dildo attack.

BTW,Stonebow

I dub thee Sir Stonebow, Forger of Armor, bearer of corsets, and receiver of DHIBD:eek::eek: bruises.

… and called him a randy old goat.

… and now upon him she doth dote.

… and sank the little man in the boat.

My mind is whirring with wonder of the need of such a mighty tool with TWO heads!

Is there another maid that may figure in the postscript to this tale?

Hmmmm???

and, to reiterate a previous post…pictures, please!

Alas, despite an errant fantasy now and then, there remains room enough the marriage bed of Stonebow and FaerieBeth for only two. Those two being us, in case anyone’s feeling clever.
Of course, that does not preclude the use of all manner of ‘marital aids’ to keep the spice in things. There are all number of yummy orifices that exist just between two consenting adults…

where was I again?

Damn, where’s Anal Scurvy when you need him? He’d be able to explain this to you people. Prudes.

I wonder if I could take controll of a plane using an 18"DHIBJD?

{me}Mr. Pilot come of the cockpit or I’ll use this 18"DHIBJD on your stewadesses!

{Pilot} This I gotta see!

Am I the only one who read this as tangenital?

This sucks, I’m trying to answer phones at work and twice already I’ve cought myself almost saying, “18in double headed ice blue jelly dong”. WTF!

This happened to me once too, more or less, except that I hiccupped and said ‘dugong’, then it was too late. Let me tell you, it’s no fun at all being struck in the midriff by a large, double-ended, ice blue jelly plastic manatee.

Dear Dragon Magazine
I’ve read your letter columns for years but I never thought it could happen to me.

Ahem

I’m really not very pleased with this thread.
:dubious:

:eek:, meet

:eek: :eek: .

Hey, can we call you 18"JB?

'course, JBAntares might have something to say about that, too…

Sorry to you know get all serious for a second… but your wife makes corsets? :eek: That is the coolest thing I’ve ever heard. I’ve always loved the look of a corset… does she make them for others also?

I’ve never made them for anyone other than myself, but I have helped others make theirs. There’s a really good pattern generator for Elizabethan corsets (I can give you the url), and several different takes on the whole corset pattern depending on what you want (Tudor, Elizabethan, Victorian, Italian Ren). Feel free to use the yahoo messenger (my id is faeriebeth) and we can talk about it outside this thread…where I feel like everyone is looking at me…

FB

A lot of that would be no use to me, since alas, I lack a sewing machine. :frowning:

I know I have Yahoo messenger around here somewhere…

Now Bayeth honey, whatever would make you think that?

snigger, snort, giggle

And I think it’s only the husband of a card-carrying DoL charter member who could sustain a jelly-dong-related injury and feel no shame in proclaiming it to the world. Nice job. :wink:

I think dressing someone up in a corset and pulling out an 18 inch double headed jelly dong was what Marcellus Wallace was getting at when he said, “get medeival on his ass.”

You most certainly may not name me for a ridiculously oversized…penis effigy!! Hmph!!

::stomps off to corner to wobble bluely::

Honestly, why would reenactors who sew their own corsets and armor own this version of this particular item? Shouldn’t it be, I don’t know, hewn from limestone or something? Wouldn’t varieties of especially large produce be more accurate?

I’m reminded of a filk song I heard Diana Paxson sing once, about a statement taken out of context about a new mace the King of the West had bought. The chorus ended with

“And it’s fourteen inches long and with rivets studded 'round…
something something God Save the Queen…”

Limestone chafes. shudder and produce has to be continually restocked or else…well, therer’s just a limited shelf-life.
We have to rely on modern, nay, ***ultra-modern ** * means to ensure that our marital aids are always ready, willing, and yummy. If I recall, there was a Daily Show special report on just tihs subject just a few years ago. The experts all agree.
You know, when I began this, I never thought we’d get to 2 pages. Hell, given my track record as threadkiller, I was surprised at more than 2 posts.

But now…we’re famous!

and btw- JB- you’ve never seen anyone ‘wobble bluely’ until…never mind. :smiley:

We’re not looking at you.

Okay, yes we are.

But we’re just imagining you in a corset! Really! Nothing at all to do with an 18"DHIBJD… :stuck_out_tongue:

I’m adding you to my yahoo cuz I wanna know where I can get a pattern to make a corset! I’ve wanted one for so long, but never know where to buy one but I figure I’d get better results making it myself…