Gallo goes on the offensive after 'Bunny' flop

astro · June 4, 2003, 4:31pm

This Ebert article is pretty damn funny.

Here’s a bit. Click on the link for the entire article.

[sub]Gallo goes on the offensive after ‘Bunny’ flop
June 4, 2003 -BY ROGER EBERT

Vincent Gallo has put a curse on my colon and a hex on my prostate. He called me a “fat pig” in the New York Post and told the New York Observer I have “the physique of a slave-trader.” He is angry at me because I said his “The Brown Bunny” was the worst movie in the history of the Cannes Film Festival.

On Monday Gallo told the New York Post’s Page Six that Screen International “made up” his quotes. He added, “I’m sorry I’m not gay or Jewish, so I don’t have a special interest group of journalists who support me.” Such comments might seem politically incorrect, but not to Gallo, who says he is a conservative Republican, although since his film ends with a hard-core oral sex scene, he is not likely to be fielding many group bookings from the Moral Majority.

But was Gallo actually misquoted?

“Absolutely insane stuff from Gallo,” editor Colin Brown assured me. “Not only is everything we wrote in Cannes exactly as he spewed out, word for word, it was all recorded on audio tape.” He added, “It makes me wonder whether this is not all some great marketing ploy on his part. I have actually come across people who say ‘Brown Bunny’ is top of their list of films they most want to see out of Cannes this year.”

Gallo all but wept in a Cannes interview as he described the pain of “growing up ugly,” but empathy has its limits, and he had no tears for a fat pig and slave-trader such as myself. It is true that I am fat, but one day I will be thin, and he will still be the director of “The Brown Bunny.”[/sub]

Kalhoun · June 4, 2003, 5:03pm

Let’s hope we can see it soon on MST3K. Ebert’s commentary is a riot and Vincent Gallo has lost any respect I had for him. One question: Why would Cannes allow such a crappy movie to get in? I mean, what are the criteria for admission to such a prestigious festival?

RealityChuck · June 4, 2003, 5:05pm

You left out the best line:

UrbanChic · June 4, 2003, 5:09pm

I love the last line of the quoted article, astro. It’s very funny.

FisherQueen · June 4, 2003, 6:51pm

That is hilarious. Oddly, despite all of the press, I still have no desire whatsoever to see “The Brown Bunny.”

Cat_Fight · June 5, 2003, 3:38am

I am so disappointed in Gallo. I really enjoyed Buffalo '66 and was looking forward to what he’d do next.

Sublight · June 5, 2003, 4:09am

You know, I have to agree with that. I found mine enthralling, though I could have done without the surprise twist at the end.

Affe · June 5, 2003, 4:17am

Haha, that’s classic.

Miller · June 5, 2003, 5:09am

Sure is classic. Winston Churchhill said it first. Although he used “drunk” instead of “fat.” I was sorta disappointed that Ebert couldn’t come up with something more original, especially after the colonoscopy joke.

jackelope · June 5, 2003, 9:20am

Hmpf. I used to have a LOT of respect for Gallo; Buffalo '66 was a brilliant auteur film in the old style, with a coherent internal visual language that I’d never seen before or since (not to mention a trailer as good as the one for Delicatessen; either could stand alone as a short film), and even Palookaville, which was the first film in which I saw Gallo, had a weird kind of charm that I thought was totally overlooked. (Casting William-freaking-Forsythe as a 20something hipster turned out to be one of the most astonishingly great casting decisions I’ve ever seen.)

And he was great in Arizona Dream as well; the talent show scene in which he recreates Cary Grant in the cropduster sequence from North by Northwest was downright creepy, it was so spot-on.

And now that I’ve written my obsequy to Vincent Gallo…

To err is human; to make virulent, ad hominem slurs against professional critics who dare to criticize is to be a fuckup. And Vincent Gallo is now firmly in my list of fuckups.

Do you suppose he’s on dope or something?

zoid · June 5, 2003, 4:02pm

I HAVE to see this film. Can it really be as bad as all that? Bad enough to become a cult classic?

Does anyone know how I can see this triumph of film?

Hully_Gully · June 5, 2003, 4:14pm

It’s worse then you can possibly imagine. There is no way it will ever be a cult classic. EVER.

As far as being able to see it, do you mean in a theater or on video/DVD?

Because of the bloqjob scene, I’m sure it will get an NC-17 rating from the MPAA, which I have no problem with. However, an NC-17 means that it won’t be shown in any of the big megaplexes.

Your best bet would be to call up or go down to your local "arthouse theater and ask if they are going to be showing it. After they stop laughing, you might have to resort to begging, pleading, tears and actual bribery using real American money.

Or you could wait 3 months for it to come out on video/DVD. I’m sure there won’t be a stampede of people at Blockbuster waiting to see it.

MovieMogul · June 5, 2003, 4:43pm

Probably because Blockbuster doesn’t carry NC-17 films either.

I have not heard of anyone who wants to distribute the film; who would take the risk that enough people out there want to actually witness a freak-show/car-accident of a movie? Word of Mouth might well be death, and there are only a few major markets where it might be “safe” to have short runs of it. Still, you never know…

RealityChuck · June 5, 2003, 5:33pm

Surprise twist? Does that mean . . . no, I don’t want to think about it. :eek:

RealityChuck · June 5, 2003, 5:42pm

BTW, Gallo has now challenged Ebert to take a “public IQ test” with him.

People can get pretty nutty if you criticize their baby.

Cervaise · June 5, 2003, 9:24pm

Interestingly, a number of Cannes-festival observers theorize that all of Gallo’s kafuffle is a calculated strategy to drum up interest in an unwatchable film.

Seriously, without looking anything up anywhere, can you name any three of the other movies that were in competition at Cannes last month? Can you name one besides Brown Bunny?