A: Wasted Days and Wasted Nights
Q: What’s the working title of Biography’s Robert Downey Jr. special?
A: Forty-one, sir!
A: Forty-one, sir!
Q: Arkasas State Trooper Smith, tell me again how many women you have picked up and brought back to the hotel for me this month?
A: The Grand Canyon
Q: What is a high-ranking pornstar.
A: A Metronome, a wingless parasitic and a ballot card.
Q: What goes “tick tick tick tick, tick, tick tick tick tick”?
A: Maybe it’s in your vagina.
A: Maybe it’s in your vagina.
Q: Honey, I’m baking bread – where is the yeast?
A: No.
A: No
Q: Can I crash-test your Mclaren F1?
A: 2-3 times a day, 4 if I’m really lucky.
Q: Is that Metamucil doing the trick?
A: A hole in the wall.
Q: What were you referring to when you said you were “bound for glory”?
A: The plumper, the better.
Q: What’s the rule of thumb on your definition of a comfy pillow?
A: It varies between 79 and 84.
A: It varies between 79 and 84.
Q: How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop?
A: Two camels
Q: What’s it take to become addicted to cigarettes?
A: Your head, your shoulders, knees and toes.
Q. So what are you substiting in this pie for the apples?
A. Making babies.
Q: What drug was never tried by the young Al Gore?
a: A cell phone, a bottle of vodka, and an SUV.
Q: What is fatherjohn doing right this minute?
A: Playing Monopoly.
Q: What are the founders of Pets.com and CyberRebate.com likely doing now?
A:It just came out of NOWHERE!
Q. So, Harold, why did you let that little strumpet give you a blow job in the presence of your own wife?
A. A horse with the head of a rabbit, and the body of a rabbit.
Q: What is a furverts ultimate fantasy?
A: Feeling really clean after wiping.
Uh, make that link this
Q. What was the best part of film class for you?
(As in wipes…to clear the screen)
A. Snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails.