The good news is that you found 50 dollars on the sidewalk…
The bad news is that it was 50 Zimbabwean dollars. Good luck finding something to buy with that, even if you can exchange it for your national currency!
The good news is that you just got nominated for the Nobel Prize…
The bad news is you were nominated for your ability to bring the whole world together- to hate you.
The good news is you’ve won an all-expenses paid trip to San Francisco…
The bad news is that you must participate in a test program for the anti-suicide net on the Golden Gate Bridge. Good luck.
Good news:
You are immortal and have no physical maladies, personal problems, or any unusual problems.
Bad News
You been sucked into another endless game on the SDMB.
Good News:
You just won a magical refrigerator that has an endless supply of beer.
Bad News
It only consists of products made by Miller, Bud, and Coors.
Good News
The love of your life has asked you to get married.
The bad news:
…to his nerdy brother.
The good news:
You’ve just been granted super powers…
…the bad news is you’re vunerable to both wood and the color yellow, so a #2 pencil could kill you.
The good news: You’ve won a guest shot on Th Big Bang Theory
The bad news is that you’ll be playing Mrs. Wolowitz
The good news: you’ve won a free iPhone with lifetime upgrades and service.
An endless supply of Blue Moon would not be so bad.
I would kill to play that role!
The bad news, it’s measured in mayfly units.
The good news, you don’t need to pay the rest of your mortgage off.
The bad news is that you’re now required by the service agreement to act like an Apple hipster douchebag.
The good news: Your husband and/or wife is taking you out to a really great new resturant for a date.
The bad news is, it’s a Survivor-themed one where they only serve things like raw cricket in* crème de* pig’s arse.
The good news is, your favorite child has graduated magna cum laude.
The bad news is, your favorite child isn’t your child, your child is 32 and still lives with you.
The good news is your cancer is in remission…
…the bad news is that the drug that put it into remission gives men an ever lasting boner and women an everlasting period.
The good news is that the musical you wrote has found a producer…
the bad news is: we found out after performing your autopsy
the good news is, your favorite vice is now legal
the bad news is: people still refuse to call your poodle your wife
the good news is: you just won free groceries for life
The bad news is: It’s all being delivered at once. I hope you can do something with 75 years’ worth of fresh produce before it all spoils, becoming a public health hazard, and requiring federal intervention to clean up.
As yet unanswered: The good news is: This weekend will be great for surfing!
The bad news is, you’ll be surfing waves of garbage and rotting fruit in your living room.
The good news is, Publishers Clearinghouse just rang your doorbell and they’re holding a giant check.
The bad news is they are lost.
The good news is the iPhone is now availabe on Verizon…