Post consisting entirely of dull tangential musing.
Post defending recently banned poster, with link to pit thread.
Vitrolic post regarding banning, flaming, verbal abuse of moderators, verbal abuse of all and sundry.
Post utilizing the color=coffee trick in a lame attempt at cleverness which doesn’t work in firefox anyway
Post quoting previous post in its entirety, and then making no direct reference to it.
Sidelong 1920’s Style Death Ray’s reference complete with gratuitous misuse of apostrophe.
Fnord reference for no readily aparent reason, and yet somehow appropriate and comforting.
Entirely relevant, well concieved, logically reasoned and concise exposition and discussion of the OP, with supporting cites and a logically derived conclusion which either answers questions posed in the OP or takes the thread in a new direction by posing new, relevant and thought provoking questions.
This post is, of course, wholly ignored by the OP and every participant in the thread.
Poster asking what are all these death ray things about, anyway?
post quoting self in entirety of immediately preceeding post in order to add “one more thing”
post-count pad, with reference to “Are Scalar Weapons For Real” GQ post, without indicating for whom this post is intended.
Post requesting compensation from an earlier poster for destroyed keyboard and/or monitor caused by spitting up coffe/soda/water due to fit of laughter.
Post asking if anyone else heard something? And then proclaiming that it must be the imagination of the person posting.
Post puting that their similar thread was locked or received no posts. 
Post asking for link and wondering how many replies to this thread will begin with the word ‘post’.
Post correcting link in previous post.
Flirting.
:: description of allegedly-innocent action ::
[sub]scrambled reference to running injokes[/sub]
.sig in obscure language
Request for explanation of the word “puting,” immediately instituting a new board cliche.
Pun on a previous poster’s username.
Flirting.
Vaguely humorous sentence in all caps, colored red, in type size 7.
Post that somehow gets a mention of goatse/tubgirl in, plus a gratuitous mention of a pet conspiracy theory, followed by an off-the-cuff remark that fulfills Godwin’s Law.
Post correcting “puting” to “pouting,” invoking Gawdere’se Law after mispelling a word or to.
Post stating user never posts, but had to de-lurk due to the brilliance of the previous posts.
Expression of disappointment that thread is about a totally different topic than what the poster thought it would be upon reading the title.
Bawdy punchline related to topic misunderstanding.