Geriatric Pick-up Lines

My mother usually wears both her wedding band and Dad’s (which she got refitted), thus announcing her status as a widow. While I can’t imagine while anybody would find her sexually attractive, mostly because she’s got a belly that would make Santa feel anorexic, apparently a lot of gents her own age +/-20 do. She’s 66, with good hair, good teeth and good skin. One of the lines we’ve rescued her from:

“So tell me, how does a beautiful lady like you happen to be all alone? Have all the other men in the world gone blind?”

The others were, in general, less suave. And there’s been a couple times when we were at the movies and she asked me to trade seats; both times the “gent” on her other side was being less than gentlemanly with the mother but didn’t dare try the daughter.

If you can guess my age, you can sleep with me. What? That’s close enough.

“matlock!”

Wanna swap false teeth?

OOOH Baby! Work that walker!

How’s about I buy you a Geritol shot?

You’re veins match the blue rinse in your hair.

I suppose you could also opt for not saying anything and instead pop a wheelie on your Rascal???

Chicks dig danger… :wink:

(Noticing that someone’s not wearing their hearing aid) You want to talk or what?

I don’t :wink:

Hey baby! You soften up my hard old arteries, and harden up my soft old…

Regards
FML

I’m cold and frightened.