Get A Grip, Larry!

The BBQ Pit
1

Mods: more MPSIMS than rant, but here for language and violent content.

So I’m tooling around on the bike yesterday, when I decide it’s time for drink and food. I swing into Maryland Yards, my local bar & grill. It’s a nice, neighborhood kinda bar, with standard bar & grill fare, but done a bit better than your standard bar & grill.

I pull into a parking spot, and Larry pulls up on his Harley right next me. “Share a parking spot, brother?” he asks, and I say “Sure.” We talk a bit, bike talk of course, before going inside. We introduce ourselves, and sit down to a couple of cold ones. We swap small talk. Round two comes around. Then round three. Food is in order, but Larry passes, heading for round four.

Larry finally signals for the check. Our waitress, who isn’t the greatest (I think she was new) drops off the bill to Larry, and I immediately see that she’s billing Larry for one of my round of drinks, as well as my food. Larry and I try to get her attention, to get the bill amended, but she acts like she’s ignoring us.

Larry gets a little hostile. Yelling, and piercing whistles, to get our waitress’ attention. She finally ambles back over, and before I can ask her to split the bill, Larry gets beligerent with her. She leaves, in a huff, and I can’t (and don’t) blame her.

Larry’s sating things like “I’ll knock that little bitch’s teeth right out of her smart mouth!” and “Fuckin’ bitch don’t know who she’s fucking with!”

I am now nervous. I try to gently cool Larry down, saying it’s just a simple mistake, easily corrected, nothing to get wound up over. The manager comes over, asking if there’s a problem. Larry gets rudely beligerent with the guy. The manager suggests that we finish our drinks and leave. I’m pretty cool with that, if only to get away from Larry. I play it cool with the manager, agreeing. The manager leaves, takes up station nearby, clearly keeping an eye on us.

Larry’s now talking about cutting throats, going and getting his biker friends to come in and kick the shit out of anyone who even looks at them, and coming back tonight and burning the place down.

I finish up my beer, settle my tab and Larry’s, coax him out the door, and down the road. I deliberately head off in a direction away from home until I’m sure Larry’s long gone, before heading back to the Yards and trying to square things with them. Like I said, it’s my neighborhood watering hole, and I don’t want to be cross with the owners.

I tell them I had no idea who Larry was; he was just some guy who pulled in at the same time as I did, and struck up a conversation. I tell them about some of the things Larry was saying. I’m fairly sure Larry was talking shit, but ou never know.

They tell me they’re cool with me (I was polite to the waitress, and didn’t give the manager any shit), and it’s all good.

But JAY-ZUS H. CHRIST!

Some of Larry’s commentary:

I think I’m goign to be a tad nervous around strangers for the next couple of days.

2

No share-sies for you anymore! Strangers bad! Also, my knowledge of bike guys is pretty limited, but I think trying to round up a posse of guys to gang rape a barmaid is just not fucking couth and would indicate to the posse that Larry is just not a gentleman. They may rethink the social connections with him. Or stake him to the ground and drive over him a few times.

3

To be fair, being saddled with a dorky name like that all your life can really warp your personality.

…but Larry should probably be put down like a dog. Or at least medicated. Or waited on by VC03 or Rigamarole. Looked at cross-eyed. Something. That boy ain’t right.

4

Larry has no posse. He’s some kind of cubicle drone who dresses up in biker drag and rides his Harley on week-ends when the weather is nice. After a couple beers, he let his role playing carry him away. He needs an ass-whooping post haste to clarify for him that a bike and a costume don’t make you tough.

5

Reminds me of a story about Humprhey Bogart. Supposedly, his bodyguard is supposed to have remarked that his job was mostly easy, except every once an a while his charge would have a few drinks, and start thinking he was Humphrey Bogart.

6

I’d say the only “pussy” in that bar is the guy who couldn’t handle his booze. The same guy who has to go and get his “friends” to help him handle the situation.

7

You should post a composite sketch in ASCII.

8

Must be one of our customers…

I had a guy threaten me kinda like that, over two dollar poker.

9

Funny, I know some members of the Iron Cross, and that guy would get his ass beat for suggesting that they gang-rape a waitress.

10

There’s happy drunks, horny drunks, and angry drunks. You got the drunk behind door #3.

11

What about happy and horny drunks? That’s what I aim for.

12

Yes, well, imagine if you will, a solar system of drunk. There are 3 gravity wells of drunk swirling around like fuzzy stars, and we are the detritus in the system under the influence of them all. And as we all pretty much keep moving the same way until acted upon by other influences, it works out in lots of ways.

13

Y’know, I learned during college that being genial and leaving a hefty tip will often earn above-and-beyond service upon repeat business.
And it’s exactly that situation why I rarely talk to strangers at my watering hole.

14

Find George Carlin’s bit about guys in business-casual jobs trucking their bikes into Sturges for the rally. “Biker drag” is pretty much it.

15

A bit off topic, but…

You let a drunk, belligerent guy drive off into traffic? And instead of dropping a dime to the police to let them know that a drunk, belligerent guy was driving around, you went back to the bar to make sure that they knew you weren’t with the guy?

And you’d been drinking how much before getting on your own bike?

16

Yeah, that’s the point I took away from the story - two guys well over the legal limit hopped on their motorcycles and drove off into the sunset. Nice. Larry was definitely the bigger ass, but you don’t come off squeaky clean here, either, ExTank.

I guess it never occurred to Larry or you in your drunken states that splitting a bill can be a private affair that doesn’t need to involve waitstaff.

17

What’s the Iron Cross?

18

Might just be shorthand for motorcycle culture in general. From here:

Glad to see you sobered up, Larry. Hope you went back and apologized to the waitress. :wink: :wink: :wink:

19

:smiley: I did think I was being pitted when I saw this thread.

20

Where does ExTank specify every drink he had was beer?

Anyway, anyone’s who’s ridden a motorcycle hungover will tell you that you sober up pretty damn quickly!