Wow, I missed that one in the original buttsex thread.
Well, here’s some honesty, if not tough love. Autolycus, when I saw your What are you thinking right now? thread, I typed out “That you have too much time on your hands and need to find another hobby in addition to posting every random thought you have to a message board.” I then deleted that post as too snarky and thread-hijacking for MPSIMS, but, heck, looks like it goes nicely here in the Pit.
And though I don’t read threads dealing with “butt-sex” (a genuine thank you for the descriptive thread title), if in fact you have copped to putting a ladle in your very own personal ass, you also IMO are not exercising a lot of common sense as to what it is wise to post to a public message board. Overshares, drunk or not, do not belong in cyberspace, where they can too easily come back to bite you in the ass, metaphorically speaking.
You seem to be a good guy. You have a great sense of humor. You also seem compelled to post every Random Neural Firing you have and to not employ any sort of filter regarding whether you should post before you do post. There’s a lot of what you post that does seem awfully LOOK AT ME! Rubystreak may have been the only one honest enough or mean enough (take your pick) to post “attention whore” but I guarantee you she’s not the only one who has thought it. Now, you are correct that nobody has to read anything you say, but I don’t think you really want to be consigned to the category of those whose posts can be safely scrolled over because 99% of what they post is meaningless crap.
It seems like a certain number of posters find your randomness and “silliness” to be adorable and cute. But we are a cynical and bitchy bunch, so I wouldn’t bet the ranch on that being the majority opinion.
Well, since ya brought it up, as I see it, that is the situation in a nutshell. I considered pitting you over it, but decided that would be sorta like kicking a puppy. A wet, cold, hungry, and frightened puppy.
Here’s the deal. The Dope is not your diary. Nobody gives a rat’s ass about most of the random stupidity you post. Sometimes it seems like you’re just trying too damn hard to fit in or something. Quit starting so many threads, never ever start a buttsex thread in GQ, and quit involving the Dope in the minute trivia of your miserable existence. You’re an alcoholic. Get help. When come back, bring content.
That said, you do not seem to be a bad person. You don’t cause trouble, but you do get a little annoying at times. Get sober and stick around. Show a little more restraint with your posting.
Well done, Autolycus. Rubystreak’s retard comment was inappropriate to MPSIMS, and her sanctimony and appeals to popularity are irritating and tiresome.
I much prefer the occasional stream-of-consciousness butt-thread.
But maybe not so many?
Ever tried theatre, Auto? You remind me A LOT of the people I’ve been in theatrical productions with over the years. I don’t mean that as good or bad- just statement of fact. Probably wouldn’t be a great idea for your drinking, but otherwise I think you’d say “I’ve found my people”.
You are pathetic, Auto.
To quote the intarnet, I just got pwned. True or false, that was an excellent slam.
As for what you said: One, alcoholic is a very strong word. I may very well be one, but my doctor disagrees and so do I. At risk? Most definitely.
Also, I for one dont think my existence is miserable 
Oh well, c’est La Dope.
I’m flattered, I think? In any case, your advice is appreciated, if not a little over the top.
I don’t agree with Rubystreak that Autolycus and his buttsex were pointless – because we got Sampiro’s ladle ditty. It was well-worth the read-through, just for that.
I have to hope that, should Autolycus cram anything else up his butt, that Sampiro will commemorate that occasion in song, as well.
A lot of my friends are into theatre actually, although I’ve never tried acting myself. Perhaps I’ll give it a whirl someday 
as Oakminster would say, 1/10
Attention, an outlet for over-the-top or just really big personalities, a chance to be somebody else other than just the way you are everyday (i.e. with costumes)- yeah, I think you’d fit.
Though if you were given a small role there’d probably be bloodshed on stage.
But, that just makes the audience feel they got their moneys’ worth and it’s the box office that dictates the art, so…
I take exception to this comment. Fedoras can be quite handsome, worn with the right demeanor of course.
My first pitting. Soooo exciting.
Great, now we’re in the right forum, so I can say what I really think:
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You are an alcoholic. You need help. I don’t know how you can deny this, if you indeed are. You say you’re seeing a doctor. I hope it’s helping.
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You live with your parents because of #1, but bitch about them, as they take care of your loser ass, on this message board. Lame. Again, I hope you are taking steps to get on your feet. Spending hours on your parents’ computer writing idiotic screeds and tell-all confessions probably ain’t the way to do that, though.
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You are an attention whore who will say fucking ANYTHING to keep the spotlight on himself. Your posting history is my cite.
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Some people are laughing with you, allegedly, but a lot of people are laughing AT you. You’re kidding yourself if you don’t think so. I’m sure people like levdrakon, who can’t really throw stones at the personal lives of others, and who have axes to grind with me from their own pathetic behavior in threads about BSG, will back you up. But seriously, much of the laughter is at how fucked up you are. If you’re OK with that, cool. If that makes you mad, then look at your posting style with anger, not at me.
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Everyone here knows WAY too much about your life, including what has gone in and out of your asshole. Is that what you really want?
But then there’s the question of rape. Do you really think maybe you were raped? Or did you just say that to get attention and bring up your drinking problem yet again? I really want to know, but really, either way, you’re fucked up. Sometimes rape can be joked about and be funny, but I wasn’t sure you were joking. It was disturbing to me. If I had realized that you were the OP, I wouldn’t have opened the thread. My bad.
I hope you’re getting help. I do wish you’d tone your shit down. Calling me a billion names, venting your considerable spleen, maybe that makes you feel better, but it ain’t gonna fix your problems one bit. Calling me a hypocrite may also alleviate the uncomfortable feelings that might be brought up by self-reflection, but I’d really like you to give an example of how I’ve been a hypocrite. I’m just calling them like I see them.
And to everyone encouraging this clown: I really think you’re just throwing peanuts a fucked up person who is making a spectacle of himself in a very loud, very public way, in fora that aren’t really appropriate for his bullshit (the thread that inspired this one was originally posted in fucking GQ, for chrissakes-- there is nowhere safe). I agree it’s amusing, the way a train wreck is. Let’s not kid ourselves that he’s a healthy, well-adjusted person who uses this message board recreationally. He’s not.
Rubystreak is more than a little bit of a bitch.
You’re welcome. I really do think you have a problem with alcohol. Too many things you’ve mentioned send up warning flags…especially the blackout incident. I’d like to see you get help with that, and stick around–just maybe tone things done a bit.
Unlike some of the people I have blasted here, your postings have some redeeming qualities. You’ve got a sense of humor. It’s just that silliness on the Dope is kinda like oregano–a little goes a long way. Too much fucks up the meal.
Whew! I *knew *that couldn’t be the real you!
You misspelled “I’m.”
I loved the thread that started this pit, but I don’t think what Ruby said was pit-worthy but without this pit there would not have been the pit OP which I also enjoyed.
We really need to Pit Rubystreak more often, she’s good. Sort of like the “Pissed off noblewoman storms into the room filled with laughing drunk nobles with dragging gown, brings silence, says her piece in regal dignity, then turns and exeunts with gown still dragging” scene in a BBC historical miniseries. I’ll take Saturdays.
Also, it is spatula, not spatlua.