I shouldn’t have to explain that this is a parody, but god forbid anyone thinks I actually am this bigoted and moronic…
In honor of this thread: Kids on airplanes (see later entries)
Old people and blacks, stay off my airplanes!
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to make a trip and I find that some inconsiderate fuck has put their grandmother or grandfather on the airplane.
I paid good money for my seat! I should not have to be forced to put up with old people! Once I flew with an old person sitting next to me who was so hard fo hearing, she kept asking the flight attendant to repeat everything, at a shout. Half the time, I get stuck behind some coot who takes these these glacially slow, mincing little steps down the aisle and jetway, making me late for my connection. It’s unsafe! What if we had to exit the plane in a hurry for an emergency? They simply shouldn’t be allowed to fly. Plus they smell funny. They’ve got these goddamn bags of knitting, or they want to tell annoying stories about the old days or their grandkids.
Of course, this pales in comparison to the horrible flights I’ve taken where I had to sit next a black person. If I wanted to be close to a black person, I would’ve married one. I should not have a black person inflicted on me just because I wanted or needed to take a trip by air. Why can they just take a bus, or a car? Or at the very least, put them in the far back of the plane so that the rest of us don’t have to look at them or deal with them. If you’ve got a black person in your family, LEAVE THEM AT HOME.
I’m sure that many of my fellow dopers feel the same way about redheads, Italians, nuns, or hispanics on airlines. Speak out! Join me! Let those feeling out! No need to feel shame! Goddamnit, as a consumer of airline real estate for your bigoted ass, you have a RIGHT to vent about this!
