I win…
*You shall henceforth be known as:
Holy Ombudswoman of Vibrators, Scrumptious DeVena Flugenborger
Kiss cookies goodbye, boring title freak! ARRRRR UMMM NUMMM NUMMMM… *
(Ya know what’s funny? I’m in the ombudsman unit here at work!!)
*Contessa of Boxer Briefs, Simple Dreamer *
Oooo, Boxer Briefs…
*Regent of Smurfs, Simple Dreamer *
Smurfs? Really?
Queen of The Left Side of That Taste In Your Mouth, Simple Dreamer
Queen? Like I could pass up being queen… 
*Superintendent of The Duct-Taped Gerbil Rehabilitation Association of North America (DTGRANA), Donna Simple “Lefty” Dreamer *
It’s not a field mouse, but still closely related… Is flybynight interested in gerbils?
*Greater Baroness of Stars, Simple T. Dreamer *
Ah, the stars… but what’s the “T” stand for?
Kahuna of The Ivy League Beer-Funnel Team, WillSantini, the First
*You shall henceforth be known as:
The Guy In Charge of Stars, Dr. Jehosaphat Rieux
You have something in your teeth. No, no, right there.*
** Admiral of Meat In A Cone, Kn*ckers Englin IV **
Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.
Oddly enough, that quote used to be my e-mail sig. I like Admiral of Meat In A Cone, though it sounds vaguely obscene.
let’s give it another go, shall we?..
Queen of The Left Side of Sleeping With The Teacher, Kn*ckers Mueller
Hey, that’s what I call your mom in bed!
Ouch. My mom is a teacher!
Okay, now I’m addicted. We’ll do one more…
High Raja of Bitch Slaps, Kn*ckers McPeacock
*You still can’t make it with an A-List chickie.[i/]
I have no need of A-list chickies, but I must say I like this title. I’m sticking with it.
Fun!
*President of The Inept Navy of Legos, Lsura Leontiv, Q.E.D.
Unfortunately, this site is just not funny after you’ve seen all the permutations. *
I’m pretty inept when it comes to Legos, so this is just about appropriate.
Some of my other favorites:
*Arch Deputy of The Calculator Appreciation Society, Snoop Doggy Lsura Deerskin Lindsay
You are nothing but a goddamned communist.
Boss of The Ministry of Pimpin’ Hos, Lsura Maddog Wainwright
Sure beats “Crack Whore”.
Lesser Contessa of Bitch Slaps, Lsura Lord
You smug bastard, you.
Priestess of No Pants, Lsura Nelson XI
Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.
*
Major Wizard of Atomic Fusion, Potted Meat Food Products and Deviant Sexual Practices, Kalhoun von Whitworth
Heh. Kinda catchy, ain’t it?
You shall henceforth be known as:
El Jefe of The Inept Navy of Wieners, Flybynight The Great, Oppressor o’ the Masses
The moon may be smaller than Earth, but it’s farther away.
Oh boy. I don’t even know where to start with that…
Crown Wizer of Bitch Slaps, Happy A. Lendervedder
Co-Marquis of Seal Clubbing, Scrum-Diddly** Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor **.
<blonde>What kind of clubs do seals join?</blonde> 
*Assistant Ombudsman Maximus of The Matrix, **Scuba Ben **
Vibratron™ Mining & Heavy Industries: Several Steps Behind The New Economy
*
Also:
*Dominar of Emergency Roadside Call Boxes, Scuba Hezekiah Ben
Well, they won’t be able to make a derogatory nickname from this one. Oh, wait…
*
Funfun!
Czarina of The National Association for the Advancement of Mysterious Briefcases, Quantum Butterfly
And, lo, the Magic Eight-Ball hath spake.
I rather like ‘czarina’. And Magic 8-Ball.
Mistress of Yesterday Morning, Quantum Butterfly XVI
*This page brought to you by the letters Æ and Þ, and the number e1. *
Queen of Jupiter, Quantum Butterfly
I always wanted my very own gas giant.
Priestess of Boring Books, Quantum Butterfly
There is no such thing as a boring book! Well… okay, there is if you count Great Expectations and my AP European history book.
Fun link!
Assistant Marquis of Deviant Sexual Practices, Bren Cameron
or maybe I’m
**Speaker of Wee Ceramic Kittens, Bren Cameron **
and I think I like
Ambassador of Condoms, Bren Cameron
Careful what you wish for! You could end up with a really large guy with an excessive fondness for beans and beer. :eek:
Empress Junior Grade of Very Little, Avarie Jensen, the Eighth
The titles all go to eleven. Look, right across the site: eleven, eleven, eleven…
JUNIOR GRADE??? 
Governess of Volleyball Nets, Avarie Lindsay
And, lo, the Magic Eight-Ball hath spake.
Governess? YESS!!! At least now I’m in charge of something!!
High Friggin’ Priestess of The Institute for Promotion of Golf Ball Washers, Avarie U. D’Smith
Oh wait, that’s not very funny.
Well, at least I’m getting more power - though my realm is pretty lame!!
Let’s give this ONE LAST TRY!!
Co-Marquise of Sporks, Miss Avarie Elisabeth Taylor
That outfit looks really good on you.
Ah, that’s better!!
Damn, I could do this all day!
Sorcerer of Plywood, Sheetrock and Other Panel-Like Building Materials, Monsieur Lightingtool Hezekiah Ivens
Hey JC, have you always had those holes in your feet?
heh
Padishah of Cannibalistic Rituals to the Glory of Ramen Flava’ Packets, Lightingtool Flywheel
You are nothing but a goddamned communist
How did they know???
I’m sorry to post twice in a row, but I had to share this one:
**Minor Sheikh of Most Every Deviant Sexual Practice, Lightingtool, Attorney at Law
I won’t make fun of your new name. You know why? Because I’m not that guy.
Super Czarina of The Moon, I_Dig_Bad_Boys
Ha ha!
I am also:
Princess Junior Grade of Vibrators
Deputy of Donuts
Mecha-Sheriff of Jock Itch (o_O)
Duchess of The Spork Bank and Trust
General of The Ministry of Yggdrasil
and my PERSONAL favorite:
Empress of Lesbians, Jedi Master
IDBB
Baroness of The Left Side of Naughty Bits, Deadly X. Accurate
You may all call me My Lady.
“Surgeon General of Scopin’ Hotties, PatrickM.”
I certainly can live with that!
Then I submitted a different name and sex and came up with this:
“Goddess of Potted Meat Food Products, Buffy Anne Summers.”
I don’t think The Slayer’s gonna like that title. 