Elfie,
I’m a really interesting guy, I don’t have a girlfriend and I’m a billionaire (I have a wife, but she’s cool with this - no, really, she is). Did I mention I’m a billionaire?
Anyhow, give me a call some time.
(Unless you’re the hot chick who works with Lemur and Subterraneanus, I don’t want to start any fights.)
Love…or something like that,
Roon
I have a question about my broken Ipod. Should I use a hammer to try and fix it (I really really like hammers)?
Thanks!
PS: I can’t just take it to the Ipod store, because my car has stopped working ever since I tried to fix it.
It depends, is your hammer a PowerPC based hammer or an Intel Core series hammer?, what Firmware version is it running, you have to make sure it’s compatible
HammerXP is completely incompatible, and VistaHammer asks “are you sure” before every stroke, occasionally the head flies off for no reason…
Yes, but make sure it’s a really, really big hammer. About as big as the one you’re thinking of now, only bigger.
Dear Omega Glory,
I was fighting a Mongol horde the other day, when abut a dozen stray arrowa got stuck in dark steed’s leathery hide. they slow the beast down, but it looks totally badass. Should I leave it in, or take it out?
Yours-Regallag “lord of war” the Axe
Dear Omega Glory,
I’m in a quandry. I looked at the letters in the names and only count 12. And then I did it again. . . and again. And now I’m mad at you for making me count these letters which consistently add up to 12. I can’t decide if I should Pit you or if I should just follow you around and try to humiliate you as much as I can.
Signed,
Still counting
Elfie,
It’s true that if a man will cheat with you, he’ll cheat with someone else. However, if his current relationship were to sour, perhaps as the result of his girlfriend’s steamy internet chats being discovered (hint hint) you could be there to comfort him. The bonds you form during this time will form into a beautiful relationship, and he’ll never have to know that you set her up. Plus, he’ll never ask you if you had anything to do with it, so you’re not technically lying to him.
I’ll tackle the rest of the questions in a bit.
Paint you fiance “Pomelo”.
It’s probably dirty. Run it through the dishwasher on a high setting. If that doesn’t work, maybe the computer’s broken. Try using the hammer on it a few times.
Regallag_The_Axe, leave them in. Image is everything, you know. It’d be really awesome if the two of you had matching imbedded arrows, actually. Could you arrange that?
Heffalump and Roo, there are thirteen letters. Don’t believe me? Well that’s because you’re not on a high enough plane to see the hidden letters in our hearts. My post is my site, so don’t ask for any other proof of this. Just accept and believe.
I have a mouse in my home that is very good at stealing food from traps without triggering the traps. Obviously, I plan to capture it alive, sell everything I own, and travel cross-country exhibiting it as “Supermouse”.
Should I stick to state fairs or should I also look for other venues?
ooooooo Ohm! oooooooo
Perfect idea, but you want maximum exposure asap. Find said mouse, then petition the court to allow to marry it. When CNN shows up at your door, convince them of the litle creature’s intelligence by having it perform tricks. All the talk shows will want the two of you after they see you on air. Well, the mental health agency might be interested too, but thats just a bump on the road to glory.
Heffalump and Roo, convinced you huh? Of course I meant that my post is my cite, but we’ll just all pretend I was right the first time.
My house hunt is going well. I’ve got it down to three, and they’ve all been mentioned in the papers lately!
The guy who owns this one has offered it to me for only $100,000 more than he paid for it. He has also offered to help me work on it after closing.
These nice people are offering to sell me a house that comes with its own supply of fertilizer.
I think I might be able to get a deal on this one.
I’m going to be going on some job interviews soon. I’d like some tips on how to dress and what sort of thing to say to the interviewers.
Could you buy all three? You can have a summer home, winter home and a regular one. The guano can be burned for fuel in the winter, and can fertilize your garden in the summer. You’ll also save energy by living at the collapsed site during good weather. It’ll be like camping all the time! That counts as living green right? As for the interview, show the interviewer that you haven’t been blinded by money, and that you’ll put your work before your looks by dressing in a burlap sack with holes for the neck and arms.
Ya think? :smack:
At the very least, see if they’ll throw in the bed for free.
What? I’d change the sheet.
That’s true! It could even solve that pesky global warming problem. It would even be pretty effective for “global worming”, which was what I typed first 
Hmmm…good point. We’re selling our house. And it’s always the little things like moving dead bodies you forget till the last minunte.