This amuses me:
Summary of article: Crummy store chain in suburbs surrounding my hometown that I’ve frequented finds box of ceramic heads contains real skulls.
The store chain is called Marc’s. It used to be called Bernie Shulmans before this, and I think it’s strictly a northeast Ohio thing. The jingle as I recall it is “Have fun for your money and SAVE- at Marc’s!” It really is one of the skuzziest stores around- it didn’t used to be so bad, just got worse over the years. It has a bit of everything but not much of most things. A few random toys, some food, a pharmacy, photo center, candy, etc. It’s like a mix between a drugstore, grocery store and some sort of dump. Really, it’s dirty and gross, but the prices are dirt cheap. It’s worth going to for candy, and my best friend got a stuffed lobster there we dubbed Logan and hung from her rearview mirror.
What I want to know is, how messy and random is their storeroom that the workers there didn’t even pay a second glance to a box of heads? You couldn’t see the skulls, but they were encased in ceramic human shaped heads. How might conversation run in that back room?
Stock boy #1:“Hey Jimmy, we get that new shipment of wiffle bats in yet?”
Stock boy #2: “Yeah, I put them next to the BOX OF HUMAN HEADS in the back room.”
Even worse, it says that they were about a week from putting these heads on the shelves for sale. What kind of people would buy these things? Seems to me the only reason would be for pranks or people reminded of the top ten uses for Data’s detachable head in Next Gen. What could you use those for- hood ornaments? I personally could find plenty of uses for them, but none of them exactly orthodox. For instance, I could hollow them out and make a cheese dome- instant head cheese! What if someone else had this same idea and found the skulls- would they sue? What would be the reasoning- that they were sold body parts? Hypothetically they could be prosecuted too for illegal purchase of human parts.
Moral: Don’t buy anything but candy from crappy stores. And if you must get a ceramic head, break it open to look for skulls. You could use them to make incense holders out of the nose.