If he gives you a swirlie, I’d tell HR.
Facilities would probably want to put a stop to that as well.
Same thing I do when in Customer Service Mode and dealing with an irate caller: be nice.
He smirks at you? Smile back.
Starts in on the rhyme? Fake a smile or laugh at him.
Two options:
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Get an air horn. Every time he’s annoying, sound it. That way, everyone will know.
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Get a notebook. When he is annoying, make a production of looking at your watch and then making a notation in the notebook. Then look at him and smirk.
+1
Ignore his ass. I had a whole warehouse full of people bitching when I got a promotion that put me in the office instead of out in the non climate controlled warehouse. Do your job, ignore them, they are not your friends, pretend they are annoying customers who will make your life miserable if you feed into their drama.
Or have a hell of a “come to Jesus” meeting to tell them both to stop acting like 13-year-olds. And then if that doesn’t work, fire both of them.
Seriously, OP, if you can’t ignore someone acting like a jerk, you aren’t ready for adulthood. See a therapist to find out why you’re letting other people control your reactions.
You shouldn’t have to leave your job, but do you really want to work someplace that can’t control people like that?
I always advise that when in doubt, ‘Up your professionalism.’
My work group is large and I had a problem with one coworker. Or she had a problem with me, I guess. I took the issue to my supervisor and tole him that I intended to have no conversation with this coworker unless it involved giving or receiving work related information; no chit-chat, no 'How are you?", nothing but work related talk.
The problem coworker eventually became bored with me and moved on to bother other folks.
No one has ever lost a job by performing it adequately and professionally.
I think you should approach him privately and say something to the effect of “Dude, I don’t remember how this started but it’s really stupid so let’s not do it anymore”. It might actually work.
I got caught up in one of these situations when I was very young and new in the workplace. I’d like to say that I was the mature one but it was the other person who used the approach that I described.
( and lest you think that we were annoyingly mature— once my former archenemy and I became friends, we realized that there was a third party that had been goading our misbehavior for her own amusement and we enacted our own immature revenge plot)
If anyone is looking for a place to work where they will not have to deal with jerks, good luck. Even working for oneself in isolation fails that test in many cases!
Ryan_Liam, please understand that you can’t change him, you can only change you. Quitting because of the actions of a cow-orker? Why would you give them that much power over your life?
Do tell!
A bully in the workplace can be a real pain in the ass and cause a lot of undo stress. Management needs to step in and if they don’t you should go to the next level. It has nothing to do with being afraid of them, loosing our tempers at work can lead to the loss of a job. We don’t need that stress. I never put up with it in my shops.
No one is making others lose their tempers. Keeping one’s temper in the face of stress is a personal responsibility. If one of my employees came to me whining about another worker making faces at them or singing, and how they’ve been retaliating with the same, I’d look to rid myself of the existence of both parties.
He’s already done both of those things.
OP, HR exists to prevent lawsuits against the company–if they haven’t stepped up, they’re not going to. Whether it’s because they’ve determined his behavior isn’t legally actionable, or that you’re a very low sue risk, or they value his work more than yours and hope you just quit, or they’re just jerks. They’ve already been apprised of the situation and they’re not going to do anything. You can complain about it, but that’s not a very practical way of comporting oneself.
Frankly, this may be hard to hear, but it’s not illegal to be a jerk. IANAL, but his actions don’t sound like they rise to the level of creating a “hostile work environment.” That is a narrowly-defined legal term–it doesn’t just mean a coworker is being hostile to you. If the guy is just being petty* and not belittling you due to your membership in a protected class, you don’t likely have grounds to sue. This is probably why HR won’t do anything.
According to Wikipedia, Federally-protected classes are: race, color, religion, national origin, age, sex, pregnancy, citizenship, familial status, disability, veteran, and genetic information. Your state may define further protected classes or not (such as sexual orientation, creditworthiness, immigration status, etc). It’s worth contacting a lawyer if your coworker is treating you poorly based on one of these characteristics. If not, then your remaining options are to put up with it or find a new job. Those are your only options. It’s not fair, sure. Who said life would be?
I don’t know if you’ve considered this, but therapy is good for more than mental illness and grief counseling. It’s a good way to learn and practice establishing boundaries with difficult people. There are also some good self-help books that can teach you coping techniques and go-to phrases for dealing with guys like him. I’ve read a few, and they work–I’ve been dealing with my office’s petty tyrant for 15 months now. I’m getting pretty good at it. You can, too.
*which, based on your description, he is. And you’re being petty, too.
I do agree with you on a technical level, most people will not snitch unless a direct threat or confrontation takes place but I know that this may wear on an individual and they shouldn't have to deal with it. Respect and manners are not too much for an employer to demand from its work force. Customer service people are used to dealing with angry customers, this is no comparison to dealing with an aggravating co-worker who never lets up. I have seen them in action many times over the years and I know the negative affects they can have on people. It does nothing for the company and it is in thier best interest to nip thse things in the bud.
They shouldn’t HAVE to deal with it, which is why I’d want the taunter gone. Yet they SHOULD deal with it, so now I want the whiner gone too.
Back in my day (shakes fist in air), even a preschooler tattling on another would get both parties in trouble if the offense was non-endangering, for not working out their own problems. Today’s young whippersnappers have been trained to run to a grown-up for every problem, which is why their adolescence is taking an extra decade.
I agree with that also, we really do have a problem with people lacking coping skills.
Maybe it’s because in preschool instead of being taught how to resolve a problem responsibly, a teacher would rather sneer at you for being a tattletale and punish you for it. You know, the same mindset you have right now. Why teach the kid anything useful when you can just add to the shitpile? They’re 4 years old fer chrissakes. You expect them to have problem-solving capabilities past “ask nicely for someone to stop”? How will they learn if nobody ever sits them down and tells them how to deal early on?
And how do assholes learn not to be assholes if nobody in a position of power ever corrects them effectively their whole lives? Just because an asshole isn’t breaking the law doesn’t mean they should never be told to shape up.
HoneyBadgerDC is correct. There’s no reason for anyone to deal with this in a workplace between coworkers. It simply ruins morale. The boss should grow a spine and do something about it for the sake of productivity if nothing else.
Is this the same job where you pitted your “friend” that worked with you for not letting you mooch onto his cab ride or something?
If management won’t do anything, you have two choices.
Catch him in the bathroom and beat the shit out of him. After you bloody his nose, write “never again” on the wall with his blood. (or “nevir agin”. The bad spelling makes it seem more psycho.) That should stop the harassment.*
Or, more productively, you need to learn to ignore him. If he’s not actually hurting you, or preventing you from doing your job, let it go. It’s simple, but it works. He can’t make you upset if you don’t let him.
*for the lawyers: That’s a joke, son.