I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the OP was only four.
My advice to suck it up still stands.
I was addressing the part where you thought the best way to teach people to suck it up was to punish them at age 4 for trying to figure out how to suck it up. And if you think they should know better by age 4 then I don’t expect you’d want to teach them at any later ages either. So, why was it you think they never learned to cope, again?
“He’s making faces at me” is not something a person “trying to figure out how to suck it up” says. It’s someone who has brought their problem to you to figure out instead of figuring it out themselves.
The punishment typically took the form of a logical “solution” which nobody liked, to encourage people to solve these things themselves. You aren’t really teaching them anything directly–you are getting out of the way of them learning.
When mommy/teacher/boss is the one to get the face-maker to compose his features into a permitted expression, the victim has not coped in any useful way. He would still not be able to control his own temper the minute an eyebrow is raised or a lip is curled in his direction.
This probably won’t be much help, but hey, I thought I’d share. When I was new at a job, this guy kept trying to rile me up. I wasn’t really playing along and I think he got frustrated because he was expecting me to be an easy target. He would say I was doing something wrong, implying it was because he thought I was dumb or inferior. He would ask why are you doing such and such and I would say because I and a moron, I was born before they knew about the dangers of lead poisoning etc. And he would say “It sounds like you have low self esteem” and I would say “I do have low self esteem” etc, I would pretty much agree with everything he said. It got to the point that he was so frustrated he ended up making an ass out of himself on a regular basis and when I told the manager he was distracting me from doing actual work he was effectively encouraged to self terminate as they say.
I guess the moral of the story is pride makes you weak.
^This.
If some guy were trying to mess with me (this happened to me once because I was Jewish in a small Indiana town and the person in question had a lot of odd ideas about Jews), I would be unfailingly kind to him. I’d say “Hello” to him, ask him about his day, bring him cookies, and remember his birthday. One of two things would happen: he would either re-evaluate his opinion of me, and start being a lot nicer, or he would decide I was really strange, and start keeping his distance from me, to the point that he couldn’t mess with me, because he would no longer be making eye contact.
Nope, I’m still friends with that person.
I think this is a good point, I’ve been bullied quite a few times since childhood, and I am probably hypersensitive now to any kind of similar thing happening, hence pride.
If you want me to up my professionalism - up yours.
Again, therapy.
He threatened you, you have a witness, and you didn’t call the police?
Nothing I can tell you, then. You’re hosed.
Except: Do you remember Walter White, Tio and Gus? Just askin…
Can’t you just wait for him in the parking lot [del]during recess[/del] after work and hit him in the head with your lunch box?
This is what you should worry about.
Get another job. Yours sucks.
Also: grow a pair and stop being a little bitch.
Do you know what a game face is? It’s a neutral I’m going to do what I came here to do and nothing else matters face. That’s what you need to keep on at work.
You’re not a child on in a school yard any more. There will come a day when all your stupid little game playing and tit for tat will result in you losing your job if you can’t get YOUR emotions under control. Your two seconds of petty satisfaction every time you file a complaint or grievance is helping to fuel this absurd situation. Just stop it. Don’t participate.
Put on your game face when you leave for work and don’t visibly react to anything. Pretty soon you won’t react to anything because you are training yourself not to.
Usually when someone teases you alot, it’s because they like you and want your attention. Have a friend pass a note at lunch that says “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” Make sure there are hearts drawn randomly about the note.