I’m getting a bit frustrated with the divorce process. My situation’s complicated as is, since he’s not an American citizen. We never finished the immigration process before things went downhill. But on top of it, we have a daughter who was born out of wedlock and we just never got around to getting his name on the birth certificate. Yeah, I know. Bad, but…what’s done is done.
Anyway, here’s my question. He’s in Japan and that in itself makes things difficult. I went to the courthouse to get the divorce papers and was told that when we’re filing with a child involved, we can NOT file until paternity is established. We’re having a LOT of trouble getting his name on the birth certificate since he can’t get the paperwork notarized and refuses to pay $150 to have it done at the embassy. Now, I already know there is NO chance in hell of child support ever being pursued against him since he’s in Japan. If I got the paperwork to file for divorce WITHOUT children, would that be…bad? It seems the process there is a lot faster and less complicated. Would they know I have a daughter and I’m ‘hiding’ her?
This is precisely the time to go talk to a lawyer.
There are some things you can do via the courts yourself, and there are some things that are sufficiently complex you really shouldn’t. I think this is one of those times. The odds that anyone on this message board will be able to understand *all *the issues involved in your case are vanishingly small.
Sigh…that’s kinda what I expected to hear. I have no job and no savings whatsoever. I can’t afford a lawyer and he’s sure as hell not going to pay for one. :\ I guess I’ll start looking into any law services available to low income or something.
Google “Legal Assistance Foundation” for your geographic location - they are meant for people in your situation. If they can’t take your case, they should be able to refer you to someone.
I am definitely not a lawyer and will accept no responsibility if you are fined $200,000, imprisoned for 20 years, or both, for perjury … HOWEVER … I and many others have suffered consequences from a foolish adherence to strict legality, rather than telling a white lie that would never be prosecuted.
(To give just one example, hyper-legality led my wife to renounce her U.S. Green Card and apply for Visitor’s Visa before visiting U.S. I think consular officials wanted to hint that the visit would finish long before any Immigration hearing re: expired green card, but couldn’t explicitly advise us to enter U.S. improperly.)
No I’m not but he’s really pushing it. He wants it done and over with.
She was born here in the US.
We were married initially in the US and then we went to the Japanese consolute and registered it there as well.
Yes she is and no he’s not. He keeps saying that he has no responsibility towards her financially or otherwise after the divorce because that’s how it is in Japan. But that’s a whole other thread.
Yup.
We’re actually already divorced in Japan. I couldn’t believe how easy it was. Just a single piece of paper and that was it. So…if somehow that would be admissible for America, that would be awesome. The only problem I can see is that it was done here in the US first so wouldn’t that take precedent?
septimus and Bam Boo Gut, that was kinda my thoughts. But I’m worried since the town’s so small that they’d recognize me if I came back in and started the process without children.
Marriage and Other Records
Available. The Japanese extract of the family register (koseki shohon), available from the Municipal Office, generally contains all current information that would be found in separate birth, adoption, marriage, divorce, or death records. Therefore a married person’s koseki shohon serves as evidence of both birth and present marriage.
The koseki shohon usually omits outdated records such as annulled adoptions, a former marriage, divorce or the death of a former spouse. Further, in the case of a person who was removed from one koseki and placed into another by adoption or marriage, the current koseki sometimes does not indicate the person’s place of birth. If the omitted portion is required, an extract from the canceled koseki (joseki shohon) must be obtained from the Municipal Office holding the applicant’s previous family register.
Records of civil actions pertaining to non-Japanese citizens, such as marriage, adoption, divorce or death are available from the Municipal Office where the action was registered, in the same manner as the birth record of a non-Japanese citizen. Marriage and adoption records are maintained for 50 years. Divorce and death records are kept for 10 years."
IANAL, just someone who deals with foreigners a lot for work purposes, and how this effects your rights to child support in the U.S., I have no idea - you really should talk to a lawyer licensed in your home state about that, and also to find out whether there are any quirks to recognizing Japanese divorces under your state’s laws.
So you got married and then registered your US marriage there?
Congratulations, you’re divorced.
I did that with my first marriage. We were married in the States, registered it with the Japanese consulate, then got a divorce in Japan. That divorce is recognized by the US.
You didn’t get married twice. You were married once, and the marriage was registered with the Japanese consulate. Thinking about it, that doesn’t really matter, since you husband was a resident of Japan at the time of divorce, the Japanese government allows it. At that moment, you two become divorced. The US and Japan recognize each others’ weddings and divorces.
Keep your copy of the registration of divorce. You will need to make a translation. The US Embassy site has blank forms which can be used to help with the translation. You use that copy and the translation anytime you are required to provide a copy of a divorce decree.
Omg if that can work it would make things so much easier. He’s already pissed off beyond belief over the American court system. Like I said, there’s no way I can get any child support off of him, forced or otherwise, so I have no reason to pursue an American divorce. I’ll definitely look into it and see exactly what’s needed in my state. Thanks a lot! To everyone!
Update. Called the court today to ask if they recognized divorces down in another country and they had no idea what I was talking about. Completely clueless and advised me to contact a lawyer. Back to square one :\
It can complicate things at tax time. Anywhere from a little to a lot.
She’d have to file as married-filing-separately. There may be some credits that are difficult or impossible to get in that situation. Earned Income Credit is one that comes to mind. It may also make it harder to get access to other kinds of public assistance if she needs them.
I would avoid the route of lying about your parental status if at all possible. Perjury (if they catch it) could be a big hassle. If your ex wants the divorce so badly, then I think he should be willing to pony up the fee to have paternity sorted out.
It’s sort of strange that since the child was born before the wedding, the paternity is such a big issue. There’s not the same level of “husband presumed to be father” thing going on there.
As far as the IRS is concerned, you are likely to be OK as per this. Remember, I’m not an attorney, but it’s fairly easy to show this is a divorce in good faith.
Someone mentioned upstream on Legal Assistance. That may be the place to go. The link shows some references for attorneys.