I am a older man (46) and am involved with this woman who now is 37. we have been together for almost 4 years and i love her i had a vasectomy 10 years ago after my 4th child . Well she doesnt have any but desperately wants one.She threaten to leave if i didnt have one with her, the cost to get reversed is $5000… well we broke up for a couple of months cauase she wanted to have a child and she ended up seeing this guy. In the end we decided to get back together cause we missed each other ,and she found out that she is pregnent. When we decided to get back she didnt know she was pregnant ,knowing that i cant have anymore should i stay or should i go…?
I have kids already i have 3 biological children and my 4 th is a child i adopted for 15 yrs from my previous (she is 19) from a previous relationship …and too boot i am a grand father
Owwwww
Way to many variables there to give advice.
Eg, if you stay what will be the arrangements with the biological father?
How do you feel about raising another kid at 46?
How do you feel about raising someone else s kid?
She obviously didn’t waste too much time after you broke up for a couple of months jumping in the sack with someone else, what makes you think it won’t happen again?
Dude, you got a lot of thinking to do. Good luck with it.
Advice is best suited to IMHO.
Colibri
General Questions Moderator
Just get out. It’s not a good situation.
we we broke up for almost a year but the connection between us is strong and we still were kinda together . it wasnt till her brother had his first child that she said she couldnt take it anymore…
im a father so i wont stand in the way of the father , i love kids so i dont mind but i am really in love with this woman
She’s not all that in love with you. Otherwise she wouldn’t have done this. She’s using you.
Isn’t everyone you know telling you this already?
I think these are the germane questions here - she is (most likely) going to have a baby, and she will expect you to help her raise it if you stay together, and you know it isn’t yours. Do you love her enough to be the father to her (and some other guy’s) child? By the way, I wouldn’t judge you negatively at all if you didn’t - you’ve raised your family, and you really didn’t have any say in her decision to get pregnant.
Eh, that doesn’t bother me as much - they were broken up, after all.
ETA: Were you broken up or not? “Kinda together” is not broken up.
Seriously. She threatens to leave you if you don’t have a child with her, a child you don’t want and which she is using as a weapon before it even exists. I just feel bad for this baby.
she left me cause see thought she had no choice , but we talked everyday even would sleep together once in awhile …but she got depressed after , cause i couldnt get her pregnamt …and it was hard for her to finally say "enough "
She sounds like a keeper and I don’t see any reason why you’d ever want to leave her. Seriously. Stay with her and live happily ever after!
The baby will be fine with me in or not in its life…she wants a baby even more then me so im sure she will spoil it
thank you…i put her through hell , its just hard that its not really mine and she had to have sex with someone else to get it …she is a keeper otherwise i wouldnt be here
Get out while you still can she’s shown what kind of person she is. If you stay you might become legally liable to financially support the child 'til they are 21, even if you break up with the babymomma
i feel that as well but she did stay with me for 4 years waiting for me to give her one …so its hard to think that
She could have gone to a sperm bank. She could have found a friend and a turkey baster. She left you because she doesn’t care you about you. And she’ll leave you again anytime you don’t give her what she wants. She’s not a keeper, she’s a user.
i have thought about that , i finished paying off one set of child support and i have 6 more years for the second set…thats why i got the vasectomy 10 years ago
wow sometimes it’s good to hear harsh words like that cause im blind in this relationship…also its really hard when you think she is absolutely gorgeous…
You were with her four years and the subject of your vasectomy never came up?
i told her that if it was the right situation i would consider getting reveresed. I wanted to get married first but she wanted to make sure i could have kids …so she said child before marriage…
i had all 4 kids out of wed lock…
Join date December 2012