Gifts From Children

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

It was just my dad’s birthday. He’s the stereotypical kind of dad. While he doesn’t have technically everything, he has pretty much everything he wants. And if he decides he wants something new, does he drop subtle hints and wait for a Gift Giving Occasion? It is to laugh. He just buys it. Right before his birthday if he can. I think he thinks it’s funny that way. The one time he did drop a subtle hint (“You know what I need? A new computer chair!”) all us Sibs pooled our cash and got him a new computer chair. It’s a pretty cush one. He looked at it and said “Why would you get me one of these? I already have a computer chair.” It’s fun to shop for Dad!

So all of us Sibs have given up trying to surprise him with thoughtful gifts (actual quote: “I guess someone would like something like that…”) and we just get him film. We didn’t get him film one year when we were trying to be thoughtful and he sulked til Christmas when we did get him film. He takes a lot of pictures, so film is always a Safe Gift. That and the icky candy Mom doesn’t like so she doesn’t buy. (Good 'N Plenty, horehounds, stuff like that.)

Since the Little Woman and I decided to have us some kids, we gave up on Dad completely. Well, not completely completely, we just let the boys pick stuff out for Dad. He gets some junk and we don’t have to worry about what it is. It’s a big ol’ Win-Win.

Now Soupo is seven anna half, so he actually puts some thought into what he wants to get Grandpa. This year he thought “Hey! Grandpa drinks coffee. I should get him a coffee mug! But that’s not really enough, I’ll get him some of that icky candy he likes too.” And we, as a family, went off to Target and got Grandpa a big red coffee mug and a bag of Good 'N Plenty to go in it. Soupo’s present was done.

Katcha, on the other hand, is only four. He doesn’t give a lot of thought to much of anything, let alone gifts for other people. While we were hunting down just the right coffee mug for Soupo’s gift, he was browsing. He found the Perfect Gift! It was a yellow glass chicken sitting on a yellow glass nest. “We should get this for Grandpa!” Both the Little Woman and I knew just what kind of response such a thing would draw out of Dad, so we asked little Katch’ why he thought Grandpa needed a glass chicken. “Because it’s COOOOOL!” He immediately replied.

I’d like to say that kind of conviction swayed us to let the little guy buy the glass chicken for his Grandpa. But remember the whole “I guess someone would like something like that…” thing? A four year old doesn’t need that sort of therapy fodder, so we kept on shopping. Katcha finally settled on a giant bag of birdseed because Grandpa has those bird feeders. It seemed like a good enough gift, and Katcha was happy with it. So then we were done.

Christmas is coming up and we’ll have to do the whole thing over again. But we know Dad doesn’t have a glass chicken.
-Rue.

2

I have to point this out to some friends of mine under the heading, more reasons to have kids. Their father is like yours, only no film and candy equivalent.

3

My Dad loved horehounds, too. I think they’re vile.

Dad could never remember that I knew he liked them. I took a bag to him when he was in the hospital for the last time, and the look of surprise on his face was priceless.

To change the topic, a short tale of me being a booger in church yesterday.

My church has been having this big stewardship (AKA: we want more of your money, but we’re not politicians) push, and yesterday was The Sermon of The Tin Cans. The minister really called it that, too.

The minister had 5 coffee cans that he painted different colors to represent the different portions of the budget. As he was talking, he’d pick one up, look in to it, and talk about what that part covers, and how well the cash flowed through it. The best was the capital fund, the worst was the parochial school. Overall, the church is in good shape, but we’re expanding, hence the stewardship push.

I was sitting there watching all this, bored out of my mind because I’m not a money person, nor am I flush at the moment. Then my twisted little mind got to working, and I thought that it would be fun to try to shock the pastor in front of the congregation. So, on the way out, I stuck a dollar in each of the cans, with the full knowledge of the assistant pastor.

The AP’s wife will be the lifeguard when I swim tomorrow morning, so I should get the lowdown on whether or not my prank worked.

4

“Soupo”
“Katcha”

Who’s next? “Zattleby”?

5

Don’t make fun of his wife.

6

Hi. I’m a dad.

I got a new computer chair (actually, it’s my chair, the computer continues to sit on the desk) for my birthday last week. It’s very nice – a big improvement on the wooden stool I was using. Usually I get kitchen implements, which I like also.

Mostly what I get for my birthday is an affirmation that three little people (and one bigger one) still think that I’m the hottest property on the planet, and that this is the normal course of things, and the last 364 days just a temporary lapse. I had kisses without asking for them, polite attention without raising my voice, and, just for the day, heightened self esteem without wondering if I really deserved it.

A glass chicken would have been fine, too.

7

Hubby birthday was Saturday - This year I did not have the kids pick out a gift for him, I handed them a card to sign.

We had a social gathering of sorts at our house Saturday evening. I made an 18 quart roaster full of chili, and a little more than 3 dozen homemade caramel cinnamon rolls.
We had a snickers cake and a 9X13 pan of cherry cheesecake.
I was glad when everyone left - I went to bed without giving hubby my gift or card - he got it last night. ( the gift and card, you perverts )

8

Yeah, but what was the “gift?”

:smiley:

9

But misstee was the gift a “gift” or a regular gift. You know like sometimes how you have dessert and then “dessert” or when dessert is “dessert?” Ok, so I really don’t need to know that but I asked anyways.

Happy belated birthday to Dad DeDay and misstee hubby!

I funeralized on Saturday. All day. Well, from about 11 AM til 8 PM. See, my secretary’s boyfriend (who was quite some years older than than her) died on Thursday and the funeral was Saturday. So, being the good southern person that I am, I baked a ham, made some baked beans and bought some potato salad to take over to her house cause there was a bunch of people over there. I took it at 11, hung around cause she said stay and eat lunch, which I did, then went to the funeral home for the funeral then went to this little church waaaaaaaaaaaay out in the middle of nowheres for the graveside stuff, then back to her house cause somebody brought some food to the funeral home to get over to her house and I said I’d take care of it. It was chicken salad, but it was in a cooler with ice and all so it didn’t spoil or nuttin’ riding around in the back of my Blazer. So anyways, it was just after eight o’clock Saturday night when I got home. ACBG was at my house waiting on me. He even ran me a bath and brought me a cold beer to sip on while I was soaking in the tub. AWWWWW!

vunderbob we didn’t have a sermon on tin cans yesterday but the Bishop was there. So I sat in church not understanding a word the man said cause I never do. He talks funny. We had baptisms and confirmations. Church went on forever! The hymns were good though and the choir was super so that helped. I assume that the Bishop actually blessed the Wine and the Bread for Communion since he was at the altar with it and held it up and did all those motion thingies Episcopal Bishops and Priests do to bless but I didn’t understand anything he said, so for all I know he was holding it up and reciting Mother Goose nursery rhymes. The man talks reeeeeeeal funny. Oh and I ushered yesterday which means I got to count how many folks showed up for church. It was 187 in case anybody was wondering.

Today I get to be in a strategic planning meeting from 5 PM til it’s over. Tomorrow night I get to attend our annual awards dinner. Thursday night I get to go to a Habitat Board meeting. Envy my wonderful life! :rolleyes:

-swampbear (we have electricians here working on our alarm system. They’ve already set it off twice. My nerves are shot)

10

It was a gift, not a “gift” - he got the “gift” on Thursday night, for several hours!
welby -I’d rather not say what it was - in the respect it may sound silly - however it was better than what he got last year.

11

Careful Swampy, you’ve put the cuteness meter into the yellow. If it goes into the red I may have to poke an innocent animal in the eye to balance the forces of cuteness.

12

Sweet! Must have been the “Band of Brothers” box set!

13

Would it help the innocent animal if I told ya the real reason he was doing it was to get in my pants?
Not that he has to bribe me for that to happen.

14

Saturday was our family’s late Thanksgiving celebration. (Getting a busy and farflung family together all at the same time is a complicated process.) We had turkey and trimmings, followed by pumpkin cheesecake and partridgeberry & strawberry pie. My sister and nephew performed lobotomies and cosmetic surgery on pumpkins.

Sunday I lifted patio stones and then raked stonedust around so that the patio would be level again. Three times. And the patio still isn’t level. My big long plank with the carefully measured straight side says it is, but the patio slabs just sit there and rock smugly when you step on them. Maybe they’ll settle over the winter. Then I made fajitas for supper.

15

And I thought Catholics were the only ones who did this. The Princess[sup]TM[/sup] did the accelerated sacraments this past spring on Palm Sunday. Mr. Anachi and I sucked it up and attended even though we were skeered we were gonna get struck by lightnin’ but ya gotta do for yur offspring an all. You are prolly wonderin’ why The Princess was such a late bloomer. See, the Klingon and I decided we would let the younguns grow up and decide for theyselves an that’s what The Princess did. If I’da known Mr. Anachi and I would be sitting in church for four hours on a Saturday night, I woulda dunked them myself. (The Princess gets all huffy when I tell her you are allowed to do that.) Anyhoo, apologies in advance for ruffling any doper sensibilities. I’m just sayin’…

:eek:

:eek: :eek: You wears your pants in the bathtub???

I don’t got nothin’ about buying parental unit gifts, but I did make a to-die-for Veal Piccata on Saturday night and Mr. Anachi loved him some!

Tupug (Not in the same “gift/dessert” league with summa these youngsters)

16

Tell Katcha that I’ll have the glass chicken, if Grandpa doesn’t want it! :slight_smile:

My dad is the most infuriating person to shop for. Ever. In the entire bazillion years of history of mankind.

But I love him. :cool:

17

Happy Birthday to Rue’s dad! Me, I have no grandpas nor dad to give presents to, so I get really grumpy around father’s day. I miss walking around the hardware store, trying to figure out what he wants because he always says he doesn’t need anything and I should use the money on myself. Does anybody have a spare dad I could hug for a minute?

Gardening! I did a spot of that this weekend, clearing out the gunk from summer. My marigolds have sprouted and I’m waiting on the bulbs and sweet peas. Notice how I didn’t mention the name of the bulbs. That’s because I can’t remember the name of the things. I do know that my cats were crazy for them, rolling all over the bags like they were olives or catnip. Goofy cats.

Horehound candy is good. Puts hair on your chest. Fights the epazootick.

18

Exactly why I ain’t ever gonna eat none.

19

Yeah, always wondered why Dad listed that as a selling point to us girls…

20

Bob, Bob, Bob… you pull pranks like that in the Lord’s house and you wonder why you have trouble with mortgages. As Michelle Shocked said “God is a reeeeeeeeeeeal estate developer.” Look it up. Or just buy her “Captain Swing” album. Because I said. It’s also a good CD, so it’s a double plus.

Hey Swampy, when you ush do you get one of those clicky counter things like you use to keep track of your golf score? Every time someone walks in, they get a click and you know how many people you have roped in. Or do you have to keep track of it all in your head? That would be hard, the keeping track in your head. At least it would be hard for me. Mostly because I’m several states away from your church, so I’d need a telescope or something to count the people going in, plus anything I was trying to keep in my head would get knocked out because I’d start thinking about other things.