Girl, Interrupted

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

ZZzzzzzz… (a cloudless day… a sandy beach… Brad Pitt wearing faded jeans and a smile… suntan oil in his hand… he reaches out and touches my shoulder…)

Mom.

Mom.

MOM.

I blearily squint and see my 14 y.o. daughter standing over me. She flings a sheaf of papers at me and puts a large book in my lap (oof). “IneedyoutosigntheseforschoolNOWhurryI’mLATE” My purse is flung in the general direction of my hip. “IneedmoneyforlunchcanyouPLEASEwriteacheck?!” She rushes out of the room in a flurry of hair spray and Abercrombie. I eye the papers and hope for the best. Squiggle. Squiggle. Squiggle. One more left. Squ…

MOM!

All of the signatures slant downhill drunkenly. I have crossed the K instead of the T. Guess I should have opened my other eye. Snatching the papers from me, she rushes out. "MomFORGETtheCHECKI’lljusthavetoSTARVEtoday.There’safootballgametoday.Ineedaride.I’llcallyoulater.

BANG. The front door closes.

It’s 6:48 a.m. All of the lights are turned on. A haze of perfume drifts from the general direction of her bathroom. I get up.

Anyone know any good jokes?

#2

What’s yellow and smells like bananas?

Monkey sick!

Oh sorry, you said good jokes…

#3

This isn’t a good joke, just a hijack.

You’ve only posted three times and you’ve already changed your user name?

Not complaining; just curious.

#4

Yup. Other one was missing some letters. I asked for a new one so I’m not still crazy after all these ye. Good song, terrible user name.

#5

I met my old lover
on the street last night
she seemed so glad to see me
I just smiled
we talked about the old times
and drank ourselves some beers
still crazy after all these years

#6

Purple haze was in my brain,
lately things don’t seem the same,
actin’ funny but I don’t know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

#7

I believe the last two lines would now be:

and drank ourselves some bee
still crazy after all these ye

#8

haha!