Girl, Interrupted

ZZzzzzzz… (a cloudless day… a sandy beach… Brad Pitt wearing faded jeans and a smile… suntan oil in his hand… he reaches out and touches my shoulder…)

Mom.

Mom.

MOM.

I blearily squint and see my 14 y.o. daughter standing over me. She flings a sheaf of papers at me and puts a large book in my lap (oof). “IneedyoutosigntheseforschoolNOWhurryI’mLATE” My purse is flung in the general direction of my hip. “IneedmoneyforlunchcanyouPLEASEwriteacheck?!” She rushes out of the room in a flurry of hair spray and Abercrombie. I eye the papers and hope for the best. Squiggle. Squiggle. Squiggle. One more left. Squ…

MOM!

All of the signatures slant downhill drunkenly. I have crossed the K instead of the T. Guess I should have opened my other eye. Snatching the papers from me, she rushes out. "MomFORGETtheCHECKI’lljusthavetoSTARVEtoday.There’safootballgametoday.Ineedaride.I’llcallyoulater.

BANG. The front door closes.

It’s 6:48 a.m. All of the lights are turned on. A haze of perfume drifts from the general direction of her bathroom. I get up.

Anyone know any good jokes?

What’s yellow and smells like bananas?

Monkey sick!

Oh sorry, you said good jokes…

This isn’t a good joke, just a hijack.

You’ve only posted three times and you’ve already changed your user name?

Not complaining; just curious.

Yup. Other one was missing some letters. I asked for a new one so I’m not still crazy after all these ye. Good song, terrible user name.

I met my old lover
on the street last night
she seemed so glad to see me
I just smiled
we talked about the old times
and drank ourselves some beers
still crazy after all these years

Purple haze was in my brain,
lately things don’t seem the same,
actin’ funny but I don’t know why
'scuse me while I kiss the sky.

I believe the last two lines would now be:

and drank ourselves some bee
still crazy after all these ye

haha!