Like I said, the legalities are different in different states. All I can find as far as cites are things like yahooanswers, but they all do agree with me. In general, someone that is known to be a tenant, as the OP’s girlfriend is, has to be evicted legally. I’ll stand by that all day long.
But you also said that, in some states, someone who stays for a single night can just refuse to leave and there’s nothing the inhabitant can do about it.
Visiting for a single night, based on a mutual agreement that it is just a visit, does not make someone a tenant in any state that i’m aware of. Do you have evidence that suggests otherwise?
Just the memory of my landlady informing me of such.
If you’re not going to kick her out, is there someplace you can crash for a couple of weeks until she’s gone? Can you afford a cheap motel?
This would be an even worse indignity in my opinion. She effectively kicks him out of his own home while she waits there for another ten days before going off to be with her new lover.
Oh, hell no!
Before doing this, it would be better for the OP to hang around in the house and do his best to make her life absolutely miserable for the next ten days. Why should he abandon his own place for this miserable trollop?
Yeah. Hell to the naw.
Agree. You need to get away from this woman, for your own sanity’s sake. (ETA - preferably she leaves, but the most important thing is getting out of being with her. Suddenly you’re very busy at work, at the very least.)
I can’t believe she doesn’t have a credit card. Or parents.
Do not spend the next ten days with her. Do not. This is about respecting yourself, not punishing her, not punishing yourself. Standing up for yourself is a very, very healthy thing to do. Establishing boundaries is a very healthy thing to do. You cannot be taken advantage of without your consent.
If she cared about you at all she would not put you through this. Seriously.
First, this idea has merit. I wonder if there’s a group of people anywhere who’d be really terrific at coming up with ways to do this… I mean, *who *would be devious enough??
Second, I don’t think the word “trollop” is used enough.
Some of you people are assholes. Don’t kick her out - apart from anything else, that’s going to give a lot of people back home a very good reason to hate you (in addition to a few bad ones she’ll probably make up).
On the other hand, she can sleep on the floor, and whatever you do don’t give her any money! Change all your account passwords and PINs, like, today.
ETA: On the other hand, unless she’s got no credit cards and no parents, she should at least be able to find herself a room in a fleabag motel, and I encourage you to financially assist in this process if necessary.
A dollop of trollop can sure back a wallop.
… I haven’t slept yet.
Indeed. Busy at work. Out to eat with co-workers. Can’t make it home until late, then straight to bed (and you have at least kicked her to the couch, right?). None of this “making a few more positive moments” bs.
I think it was the post by CatWhisperer that I agree with.
With all the “call HIM and give him a piece of your mind,” I am left wondering, “Well, why does SHE get a pat on the head and a lollipop for her trip?” It’s insane.
For all intents and purposes, I am almost 100% certain that Illinois Guy doesn’t have a whole truth, either. I would almost bet my life savings that if he was asked by one of HIS friends, HER side of the story about YOU is going to be WAY different than the reality.
You need to remove her from the residence, forthwith. There is NO reason at all that she cant ask family or friends for a few hundred bucks to tide her over until she is ready to leave. She will cry and beg and give you the “BUT I DONT HAVE ANYWHERE TO GOOOOOO” story. Inform her that you will no longer support her after she chose to leave your relationship, and she made her own bed (sorry for the bad choice of words). Hand her a 20 for a cab and tell her to figure it out. She managed to figure out a master plan to leave you for Illinois Guy on the sly, so it seems to me she is resourceful enough to figure out how to support herself for a week and a half.
What a bitch. I’m with Melon…I’m angry FOR you. And also kinda angry that YOURE not angrier than you are. Man up, dude. If there was any time in your life to do it, it’s definitely now.
Good luck.
I would actually be grateful to a guy with whom my SO cheated. He’s doing me a favor by exposing her as a woman of low character in time for me to keep from doing anything extreme like marrying her or breeding.
Yell at her.
I know it’s awfully easy for us to give advice. You’re the one who’s got the hard job.
But I hope you take this to heart. Good luck.
I’ll be an asshole, I guess.
Look, if you’re going to be TOTALLY dependent on another person, you better be prepared not to fuck them over. If I’m 19 and living at home while going to college, you can bet your ass I’m not going to throw a party at my parents’ house, destroying everything. Why? Cuz that free ride is going to be over for me.
Same thing applies. She is an adult. She made the decision to be dependent on another person (yes, I realize she moved with him, but that was her CHOICE. Personally, I would never move with someone unless I had means to support myself- so I think this speaks volumes about her). She blew the sweet deal she had- you agreed to take care of her because she agreed to love you and be faithful. She violated your trust, your love, your friendship, and everything else.
Kick the bitch out. She’s a grown ass woman- she can take care of herself.
We’ve already established that you can’t just kick someone out.
And, although I do empathize with the OP, it’s not like he doesn’t have *any *blame for his predicament. He did move across the country with someone he wasn’t married to, and he did assume the risk that she wouldn’t like it and she’d leave. He didn’t necessarily assume the risk of her cheating on him, but that’s the way it goes sometimes. He made choices, and things don’t always go your way. The way he reacts now will say a lot about what kind of man/person he is. Just because someone fucks you over doesn’t give you the right to act like an asshole- you still have a moral imperative to do the right thing.
Married? Who gives a flying fuck? What is this, the 1950s?
Actually, i think that the one time when being an asshole is well and truly justified is when someone has been an asshole to you. Retaliation might not necessarily be the most admirable path, as a general rule, but i don’t believe anyone has a moral obligation to act fairly towards someone who has screwed them over.
Well, she probably doesn’t know that…
Bullshit.
All Neo has to do is tell the cheater to get her ass out of his home now. And she pulls some two-year old poutfest, then he can start clearing her shit out for her. He may not be able to remove her, but he can sure as well take out the trash.
He can also unplug the computer (because it’s connected to his Internet) and, if her cell phone is in his name, he can (and should) cancel it.
She fucked up and he can damn well make sure she pays for it.