True for many people, probably, but my experience with IUD was pretty terrible.
Lol who does that? I can think of fewer ways to take the fun right out, besides wearing three.
Cripes, a woman has a right not to use oral contraception. I took it for three months in college, and swung back and forth between being irrationally angry at everyone, and being vaguely depressed and unable to gather the motivation to do anything. I also gained 15 pounds. People keep telling me the pill has improved since then, as though all women ought to be on the pill, but I don’t want to be-- it’s like when you tell someone you don’t like a food, and they say “But you haven’t had it the way I make it.”
Coming up on the 30th anniversary of the loss of my virginity, and the 14th anniversary of my marriage, and I have never had an unplanned pregnancy. I use a diaphragm. My period is very regular, so I ask my partner to add a condom on the couple of days when I am most fertile.
I’ve been pregnant one, completely planned. Got pregnant two weeks after my husband got back from Iraq, so it appears that we are fairly fertile, but the diaphragm serves us well.
Really, the OP should be talking to his GF and not us, but I wanted to put in my 2 cents for the old-fashioned diaphragm, since it hadn’t been mentioned yet.
Was it the hormones, or the IUD itself?
I didn’t do well with hormones, so I went with a copper IUD. Maybe I have a Uterus of Steel? 
I used one for a while. I liked it a lot. Never got pregnant.
My then-intended, Voldemort, didn’t like it because the spermicidal gel made his tongue numb. And he said he could feel it. :dubious:
BFs after I dumped Voldemort didn’t report any problems.
There’s some debate about whether doubling up on condoms is counterproductive or not, but it’s not really relevant, because according to Planned Parenthood, combining a condom with coitus interruptus is virtually foolproof.
Copper (non hormonal) IUDs can cause extremely heavy, painful periods. They can be painful to insert if the woman has never had children. And some people just aren’t conformed right for a successful insertion.
I can’t use hormonal birth control or an IUD of any type.
My husband and I use a combination of condoms, a diaphragm, and a knowledge of my cycle as birth control. Any woman refusing to use the pill or an IUD should look into getting a diaphragm to make a contribution toward birth control in the relationship. She needs to go to her gynecologist to be properly fitted for one. They are hard to obtain in the US at the moment, but once she has her size, she can buy one from the UK online (where they sell them over the counter). Mine cost me around $90 and it is good for 2 years. We also buy spermicidal jelly (Gynol) to use with it–that can be bought on Amazon.
I would not use the FAM method alone in a new relationship. You are still getting to know one another, and that method requires the kind of trust you don’t have with one another yet.
First off, don’t get a vasectomy unless you are 100% done with having kids, for the rest of your life. Vasectomies can sometimes be reversed, but the success rate is pretty low–less than 50%. If you’re not 100% sure you’re done with having kids, a vasectomy is not the right choice for you. If you are, then it is a great choice. But if you’re asking about getting reversals then forget it.
Second, condoms are actually highly effective–when they are used correctly. The problem is that lots of people do not use them correctly. The failure rate for condom use is for “typical use” which includes things like “we use condoms for birth control but one time we didn’t and I got pregnant.” It includes people who put them on backwards, people who don’t pull out after ejaculation, people who use 10 year old dried out ones, people who only put them on halfway, people who don’t actually put them on, people who put on two condoms, and on and on. It turns out that in the real world lots of people who supposedly use condoms are terrible at using condoms.
You probably can do better than that.
And the good thing is, as a man, if you don’t want to become a father, you can be in control of contraception, rather than hoping that your partner is doing everything correctly.
That part isn’t.
There are potential hazards to a woman for all other forms of birth control. Latex and lube allergies are the only problems I know of from condoms. The effective rate of pregnancy prevention for pregnancies is often reported with the inclusion of pregnancies from people who say that condoms are their form of birth control, not just for cases where a pregnancy followed actual usage of a condom. And people with STDs are recommended to wear two condoms for extra safety.
As mentioned, people with STDs.
Also, if you remember American Pie, two condoms is protection against another problem some men may have.
I don’t blame your girlfriend for not wanting to go on BC. I take it, but I can tell a big difference with my body.
Just wrap it before you tap it.
Do not wear two condoms. The friction between them can cause them to tear.
It’s possible to be allergic to copper, as well. I am. I didn’t believe it myself, for a long time, because I didn’t see how you could be allergic to something inorganic, but I’m allergic to copper.
Or people who unroll them, then try to pull them on like a sock. Or (this is my favorite) people who think they can take them off, rinse them, and reuse them.
Back in the mid-1980s, I had a (gay male) friend who did safe sex education, and he was amazed at how bad people were at putting on condoms. He taught people using dildos, and he’d usually ask people to show him how they did it, before he showed them anything. He had some great stories. Some thought if the condom was too long, they could use scissors to cut off the excess. I am not making this up.
The best one, though, was when he did lectures or seminars. He’d ask the women how many of them had boyfriends (remember, circa 1987) who claimed they couldn’t use condoms because they’re too big. After a little goading, quite a few women would be raising their hands. Then he would blow a condom up like a balloon until it was the size of a watermelon, and he’d say “Ladies, if he can’t fit into that, he can’t fit into you.”
This must be new advice. Can you get me a link? I don’t want to be teaching my patients old information, but that particular bit was stressed very strongly in my last sexual health class: never ever double up in condoms because it increases failure due to tearing.
My wife and I went at it like crazed weasels using only condoms as birth control. First time we didn’t use one (planned) she got pregnant. Second time, second child conceived. A few hundred times with, no pregnancy. Twice without, two kids. It’s hard for me to see wrapping that rascal as not effective. Not foolproof, but certainly effective when used correctly.
This was told to me by a friend with AIDS. The recomendation came from her doctor. However this was back in the 90s so perhaps new data suggests a problem. I have seen this elsewhere, but I don’t have anything to point to.
It’s not clear to me how two condoms increase the failure rate I’d like to see a cite for that. I’m not disbelieving you, but I’ve never heard that before.
I just searched on that and found plenty of sites that say you are correct. I’m glad it’s not something I’ve had to worry about for a long time.
Thanks everyone for your advice. Again I am somewhat ignorant in this area and you’ve all given me lots to think about. Me and my GF have discussed some options. We are certainly open to fun forms of intercourse that don’t involve me entering her. That being said I want to be as informed as possible…I now know a vasectomy is off the table as I may still be open to kids one day. As well I lumped “birth control” in with “hormonal birth control”. My bad. If mods can change the title they are welcome to do so.
We’re both processing the best solution. We are also long distance so I won’t see her again for another two-three weeks. Another reason to be extra cautious though as we both live far from each other.
Also…are all birth control pills “Hormonal?” I guess that would make sense.
Yes, all birth control pills are hormonal. That is how they work–by altering women’s hormones to prevent pregnancy. Some methods like the Mirena IUD also include hormones (and many women with the Mirena find it suppresses their periods entirely as a result), but the copper IUD does not.
Planned Parenthood has a good rundown on the options for female birth control here that covers hormonal methods, barrier methods, internal methods like the IUD, and others.
Be respectful of what she needs. For me, hormonal BC was by far the best option, experience has taught me I don’t tolerate things near my cervix well (no diaphragm, sponge, or cap) or inserted into my uterus (no IUD), I’m not OCD enough for fertility planning methods. When I was DONE with hormonal BC (and it can do a number on you), our good remaining option was a vasectomy - but we were done having children.