I’m looking to try a new form of birth control. I am no longer on the pill, as it was too much of a hassle to remember, and I would prefer not to be on a hormonal supplement right now. My husband and I are planning on starting a family in the next year or so, so I don’t want an IUD/ Depo, and condoms are just not fun anymore.
So… I’d like to try something new: spermicide, sponge, diaphragm, etc. I’ve googled the effectiveness rates, but there is a huge range between “lowest pregnancy rate” and “typical use pregnancy rate”. I’m looking for that personal touch: what have you guys used, what was easy to use correctly/ effectively, what methods really ruined the mood? I don’t really want to use something where we have to plan out our romps a week in advance, but I just honestly have no experience with anything other than condoms or the pill/ patch.
Back before Baby #1 ruined my pelvic setup and the diaphragm wouldn’t stay put anymore, we used it, and it rocked. You could put it in an hour ahead of time. Learning how to use it was not that big a deal.
In between Baby #1, Baby #2, and Baby #3 we used a combination of both Encare Ovals (a vaginal suppository) and a condom, because it was really, really important (to me, mainly) that we not have any Little Surprises, and all I personally cared about was getting as close to 100% effective as humanly possible without either vasectomy or tubal ligation, or the Pill, which isn’t 100% either. The Encare Ovals you had to allow 10 minutes to melt and become effective. My husband dealt with the loss of sensation due to the condom with reasonable grace, since because without it, he wasn’t getting any at all, and even Encare Oval-ed rubbered sex was better than no sex at all.
I found the leftover Encare Oval effluent in my underpants to be disconcerting, but part of the price you had to pay for 100% no Little Surprises.
My brother and SIL used sponges after the birth of their first, with the result that their two eldest kids are now spaced a lot closer than originally intended. They switched to something else after Baby #2.
I’m a huge fan of Yasmin, but you are looking for a non-pill birth control, so my next recommendation would have to be spermicide. When I was engaged and we were not using condoms I used a pill/spermicide combo. Make an appointment with your OB/GYN and see if they have any advice for you…they might be able to recommend something like the nuva-ring or some such that would be perfect for your situation.
Well, that’s one strategy, but it requires so much cleanup
My thinking is running toward those spermacidal films (Norforms?), which are possibly something like the Encare ovals that DDG mentioned. Unfortunately, with condoms my husband only has a “success rate” of like 30%, which seems unfair when mine is well over 100%. I’m just looking for something to tide us over until we’re ready to actively try for kids - it wouldn’t be a tragedy if we had a Surprise, but of course financially it would always be better to wait.
I have tried spermicidal foam, and it stung and irritated my partner a lot, and irritated me a little bit - plus it was really messy.
Why don’t you want to be on a hormonal birth control? What about the Nuva Ring? You only replace it once a month. Or the birth control patch, which you replace weekly.
If you’re looking to start a family in the next year or so, why bother with contraception? Babies take 9 months to appear which fits your timeframe nicely.
I use a diaphragm. If you use it correctly, it has a 94% effectiveness rate, and it is not hard to use it correctly. Just practice with it before the big moment so you can just whip it in. I’m satisfied with it.
My husband of 13 years is a condom user. We hardly even need it, me being 45 and having a serious history of infertility (although I was pregnant twice - once successfully) but we use condoms for one reason: clean up’s a breeze.
While I definitely support as much pre-baby planning as possible, it sounds like pregnancy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. So why not track your fertility and use condoms/abstinence/non-penetrative sex half the month?
I would urge you to reconsider an IUD. Although it is a relatively pricey option for a single year (coming to about $70-80 a month), it is highly effective and rapidly reversible. Investigate what your insurance will cover.
…are you still there? Okay. Seriously.
It takes a bit of education and a serious amount of effort, but I have used it happily and successfully for two years, and couldn’t possibly recommend it more highly for someone who:
-Is comfy with their own body (and bodily fluids)
-Pays attention to detail
-Doesn’t want to use hormones
-Is comfortable taking personal responsibility for pregnancy prevention (ie: it’s all you–if a pregnancy happens, you can’t blame it on the pill)
I find it far more convenient, overall, than any of the barrier methods, which we sometimes still use in conjunction. I tried and disliked the sponge, it felt too bulky and was just… noticeable. Not painful or really uncomfortable, just… distracting. I didn’t like it, but YMMV obviously.
Spermicides are messy and not excessively effective as a primary method. Plus my Mr. prefers not to have them around if he’s going to get… um… up close and personal.
I liked my diaphragm well enough, it was simple to use and neither of us could feel it while in use. I don’t think I ever trusted it quite as much as I did other methods, though.
If you’re looking for something that’s going to be a no-brainer and extremely convenient, I might suggest looking at the NuvaRing. It’s a hormonal method, but a fairly low dose of estrogen. Many women like it a whole lot, as it avoids the whole pill-a-day thing and doesn’t have the same problems as the patch.
But really, fertility awareness has rocked my reproductive world. I’ve been using it for two years now with no problems, and this month we’re going to start trying for a baby–with no transition time between a pill and attempts to conceive. I just take the information I have and use it in reverse. It’s not easy, it does take some thought and effort, but it’s free and with no side effects. I use the sympto-thermal method which is supposed to have up to 99% efficacy with perfect use, but it does require strict adherence to work.
From the Wiki page :
Keep in mind that the difference with “perfect use” failure rates and “typical” failure rates is user error: if you get lazy and choose not to use your method, it won’t work. If you use them correctly and consistently, they’ll work. Don’t be afraid of typical failure rates if you can trust yourself to use your method, and do be sure to choose a method you feel comfortable with and confident in so that you will use it consistently. When people pick barrier methods they are ambivalent about, our old friend “withdrawal” has a tendency to step frequently up to bat.*
*and you know what we in the reproductive health world call couples who use withdrawal as a primary method of birth control, don’t you?
My favorite is vasectomy. Of course if you are keeping your child bearing options open, that one wouldn’t work so well. Thankfully for me I don’t want kids and my boyfriend is fixed. My second favorite would be condoms.
