Never repeat what you did/said to your girlfriend to her or anyone else. And apologize if you haven’t already. As noted above, it’s rude to abruptly cut off a conversation (emergencies excepted, of course). As my manners-obsessed mother would say, “It’s just not done!” Expecting your girlfriend to do so is jerkish. The importance of her conversation is completely irrelevant.
I understand you were tired and probably wanted to talk to her so you could get some sleep already. That’s still no excuse for communicating with her the way you did. She has a life, as do you. You took a 30-day vacation. She probably wasn’t waiting by the phone, breathless, waiting for you to call. If she had been, that would’ve been creepy. Get some more sleep, take a Xanax if you must (well, not really) - just don’t do that again.
Dude…ya fucked up. Never, under any circumstances, criticize your girlfriend until after you’ve had the welcome home sex. If you don’t get welcome home sex, then you need a new girlfriend.
Just make it up to each other. A year is still pretty young in the relationship and it takes time to iron out the wrinkles. You have to compromise and constantly work at a relationship, but thankfully the rewards are well worth it. A good relationship is one of the sweetest things on this Earth.
Let’s give the guy a break. Although he sounded like a total jackass in the OP, he’s handled all the criticism thrown at him here with admirable restraint, and he seems to be taking the advice to heart. I don’t think he needs any more people piling on and telling him what an idiot he was.
Good for you ice1000, for being mature enough to be instructed not to be so immature.
Very much so, although one point that hasn’t been piled on is bugging me.
[QUOTE=ice1000]
After much thought, I think I was so upset because I had a very strong desire to share my experiences with her.
AND
I did speak with her a bit in the first call but was not able to give her a full run down of the entire vacation until I got some rest.
[/QUOTE]
Of course you don’t express everything in posts of all the things you’re thinking about, but it sounds from those two bits of posts that you were eager to share what happened to you but not really excited to hear what’s been going on with her for the last month. I could totally be reading into something that’s not there, but it seems a bit selfish.
Heh, I noticed that too. Between her BF and GF, she could be tired of hearing people talk about themselves and their needs, without never asking about her.
In addition to what Twickster said, it’s very important to properly credit quotes. To someone reading your post at random, it wouldn’t even be clear that you are quoting–a quote of a quote. From reading subsequent responses downthread, it seems that some people may be confusing you with the OP.
You should always use the quote tags, or use the quote icon to wrap selected text in quote text.
I’ve got a few of these at the back of my mind, too. India, Nepal, Thailand, ‘backpacking through Europe.’ A month isn’t that long, but if you’re young and haven’t been together long, it’s an eternity. Especially since these trips are so often about (groan) ‘finding yourself.’
To the OP, sounds like you were just cranky and jet lagged (a few words in I honestly thought this was going to be about the girlfriend getting pissed that you didn’t contact her right away), and that email was over the top, but you sound pretty rational. Keep in mind, though, that however supportive she was, and however cool she thinks your experiences were, they’re yours, and she may feel jealous or resentful that she didn’t go. I know I’m being presumptuous here, but if all of your stories are starting ‘When I was in Nepal…’ after a few weeks, try to cut back.
I had a similar thing happen. He went to Malaysia for six weeks…he was gone thinking of me. I was sitting at home with a social life where I met other people. One of whom was very interested in me…
Some of the responses here slay me. This seems a case of both people not really seeing the other’s point of view and perhaps a little overreaction on the OP’s part… But it’s understandable.
Ice, this board loves a pile on, as you can see.
This is a good time to discuss expectations - when you haven’t seen each other for some time, how do you handle the first convo? Are you going to share everything that happened then and there, or have a special dinner and do it then?
I will say this, I would expect a serious GF or BF to meet you at the airport if at all possible…
Yep. My husband used to travel overseas for most of the time. This was before cell phones so we never talked. He would be gone, missing us, and we would be having our own life making things work just fine without him. He would get home and expect us to be glad to see him but he was always suffering from jet lag and would be extremely cranky so it took a while to actually be glad he was back.
