How are you going to feel once she graduates and gets a job where she sees a lot of random guys naked?
Serious question.
She sounds like a caring and loyal girl. Enjoy your time with her and don’t blow it over insecurity and jealousy.
A lot of girls would never ask you if you were okay with this behavior. They’re the ones you have to worry about.
That is a bullshit excuse, and you need to be called on it.
You may have been raised with a bad example, but you’re cognizant of it and the consequences that behavior brings with it. You have a choice, when those ugly thoughts show up, you can indulge yourself with a little “I guess I’ve got some of my dad in me”, or you can decide that you’re not that guy and act appropriately.
I dont think I’ve been too controlling. Didnt fight her going on the boat, and def did not fight her going to this concert tonight (even moved back previous plans).
I just think its a matter of adjusting to what is somewhat new for me, your insight is helpful though, and I appreciate the response.
She is. Im trying not to which is why I havent told her no to doing any of this, I know she is the one.
Agreed on your second point, hadn’t though about it that way. Appreciate the repsonse.
I agree that I need to man up, no one understands that more than me, and slowly but surely (and this thread has helped) I feel like I’m getting there.
It is just really tough knowing how far my dad took it, and I’ll never take it that far. I do believe it has something to do with how I act today though but I’m trying to overcome it.
Never a bad time to set someone straight. Thanks.
You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders and a good heart. Keep the lines of communication with your girlfriend open, and you’ll be fine. 
Thank you for the kind words. I try my best to be a good person and really do lover her more than anything.
Just make sure that these feelings aren’t coming from a place of panic or possessiveness; i.e., “I woke up to realize that I’d better lock this relationship down before she gets away.”
Find a new girlfriend.
I agree with this. You two are hardly doomed. The fact that you’re being so receptive to the feedback here is a good indication of that.
I’m of the firm belief that people cannot control their feelings, only their actions. So you might feel jealous. And that’s fine, and to a certain extent quite normal. As long as you’re aware of it and mitigate the impact your feelings have on your behavior, you’re good.
I mean, I can only speak for myself, but sometimes I feel ways that strike me as quite irrational. I’ve just gotten good at recognizing when I’m being irrational and not acting on impulse.
I have felt like that about her from 6 months in to now. I will agree that this is an eye opener and makes the thought of doing so quicker pop in my brain. The plan was always to give her atleast a year before she graduates which puts us sometime early next year-april.
Thank you. I am trying to become better at it, and hopefully I can stay straight. My fear right now is this feels new and fresh to her and she almost enjoys doing things with her new friends more than she does with me.
Just an update from last night for those that care or would like to provide feedback.
She called me about 455 when she got off work as she was heading home to get ready. We chatted briefly and told her to have a good time, she was going to be the sober driver.
She snapchatted me videos and pics for the first hour or so and then I didnt hear from her for about 2 hours or so, which honestly didnt bother me too much.
She called at about 10:45 when I thought the concert was over, but of course it was running late and she didnt want to miss the best song of the night. She called me to ask if the guy her and her girlfriend took a picture with looked like a celebrity which I fibbed and told her yes.
She sent me a snapchat of one of my favorite songs being performed, and then one later of her drunk girlfriend in a parking lot.
I finally layed down about 12:15 and she called me about 12:30 to tell me she was home. We talked about a minute or so where she thanked me for letting her go because she had the best time, before she said she was tired and had to get back up this morning at 6.
She called me at 650 this morning and we talked a little more in detail about her night and she gushed and gushed about how good of a time she had. She had brought breakfast to her fellow coworkers (the same had been done to her previously)
The conversation then focused to our plans the next few days and for some reason (may have just been me) I felt like her tone changed and she didnt seem nearly as happy to talk about it as she did her things with her friends. She told me it didnt make any sense for me to drive up there and pick her up (45 min away) and then drive right back that same night for then me to turn around and drive back tomorrow morning for work. She told me she would drive down, but I told her it would give us some time to hang with each other since we havent seen much of each other lately. She said ok and then we talked a little more about our plans for the weekend. She rushed off the phone because she had to start camp and it just felt weird to me.
I guess I’m feeling like this is something new and exciting for her compared to our same ole routine and I just dont want her to make any rash decisions like I’m holding her back or anything.
Any thoughts? Thanks in advance!
bttt, needing insight this morning please!
So here’s the deal. Like most people, your GF wants to have a circle of friends she enjoys hanging out with. It’s fine that this circle of friends may not include you on a regular basis. I have my friends. My wife has her friends.
Now where it starts to get weird is if these circles never overlap. Assuming her friends aren’t all in relationships with each other, there should be at least some occasions where they would bring their SOs to an activity. I’ve had plenty of “man play-dates” with my wife’s friend’s husbands and a trip to my favorite bar with some of my regular drinking buddies absolved her of any fears that it was the sort of bar where I would be cheating on her (due to the extreme sausage factor).
Now if you find yourself constantly waiting up for her or hearing about how much fun she had at activities that you weren’t at, then it sounds like you might be finding yourself becoming more and more irrelevant in her life. Doesn’t really matter if she’s cheating on you at that point because she might as well be.
What it sounds like to me is that you’ve been emotionally demoted from boyfriend to “amiable roommate” or, even worse “work buddy” while her work friends are now her BFFs. That is to say, I have friends at work, but for the most part, we chat about “shit we did over the weekend” with our real friends or SOs. We rarely hang out outside of work or work related social functions. That’s where you are. Her work friends are her real friends while you’ve become the guy she comes home to and talks about the fun shit she did with them last night.
Yeah this is what I’m afraid of at this point. We are seeing less and less of each other which means she’s naturally going to want to hang out with them more. My fear is that the weekends when we are both free start to become something where she wants to hang out with all of them rather than me just because she sees them more to begin with.
We will be together tonight so hopefully it goes well from here.
It’s always a little worrisome when your GF has “the best time” when she’s out with male friends and you’re not involved.
The only way to really tell where she’s at is to go out with her and her new friends and see how she acts around you. If she’s physically distant and doesn’t make it obvious you’re her primary concern, then you know she is getting ready to bail.
Yeah and to be honest, last night I didnt really feel like she was hanging with the guy hardly any. Any picture or snapchat I saw she was right there with the girl she works with.
I’m in the process of meeting her friends, I have dropped subtle hints that I want to meet them. Hopefully it comes soon.
I agree 100% with msmith. Especially about the part of friends overlapping.
Does she ever invite you to hang out with them? Have you ever even met them?
I don’t think she’s cheating but at the same time, people go through so much growing in their 20s. Her wants may be very different down the road. It’s not uncommon for people that age to decide they want to be single and explore this brave new world they have at their fingertips.