The women I’m talking about are lesbian/bisexual friends, co-workers, bar regulars, or bartenders. All of the relationships I’ve had with these women were platonic, no dating or fucking.
At first I was just imagining this…
But paying closer attention there’s several couples I know, in which the woman I am most aquainted with will go out her way to keep me from meeting her girlfriend. If I have already met her girlfriend, she stops inviting her girlfriend (or maybe, the girlfriend herself declines hanging out?).
I have never shown any interest in these chicks girlfriends, so it isn’t like I will try to hit on them or something.
Not enough information to explain, but I can speculate based on the tone of this post and others I’ve read of your posts. It’s possible that the girlfriends are slightly creeped out by you and choose not to hang around out of their own accord.
Weirdly, this was going to be my exact response. I think most people with a spouse have a person from spouse’s past that they don’t particularly care for. Your very odd world view could make you that person in many of these cases perhaps?
While the fact that everyone who behaves this way around you is female may be a common factor, I don’t think it’s the important common factor in this situation.
Or, to put it another way, it’s not them, it’s you.
I dunno. I’ve never noticed men acting this way with their significant others. Or women doing this with their boyfriends back when I identified as straight.
Please, please, please; can you tell me how old you are?? It’s really killing me to know this and I’ve asked before and not gotten a response. Is this an inappropriate question? If so, I apologize, I wasn’t aware that it was.
How would my age be relevant info? It’s just a number. I don’t give out my age, even in real life. Or any other info that people will put me in stereotypical boxes. I haven’t even mentioned things such as my race/ethnicity, hometown, what I went to school for, etc. My gender and orientation will be the only personal info I’ll give out, sorry.
If you’re a gay woman (is that right?) it sounds like they don’t trust you. Are you one of those people who flirts hard and then gets offended when called on it? Say maybe you become insta-besties with the girlfriend even though you’ve only just met, and then when your friend gets creeped out or pissed off you say something like “geez, I was just being friendly, she’s not even my type!”
Because…that can be relevant when people give out relationship advice. The advice people give a 20-year-old college kid in their first relationship is different from the advice people give a 50-year-old once-divorced person in their third serious long-term relationship. Also because your age is directly relevant, in most cases, to maturity level.
It’s not like asking “I have a relationship question” and people asking “What was your college major? Electrical engineering majors have different relationships from French horn performance majors and anthropology majors.”
This. It is not right to assume it is normal female or lesbian behaviour to keep your girlfriend locked up away from other lesbians - heck, most can’t wait to show their girl off. You need to look at yourself - you are either coming on strong to these girls without realizing or admitting it, or there’s something else in your behaviour that they just aren’t keen on. From previous posts of yours it sounds like you are inexperienced in the lesbian dating world. The best advise I can give is you should treat lesbian friends in the exact same way as any straight friend unless there is a very obvious vibe between you, otherwise you’ll just come across as creepy. Casual flirty comments between acquaintances is just plain annoying or creepy, and if you’re making any comments which you just think are innocent ‘lesbian banter’ then I’d knock that off.
Because, frankly, you cast yourself as an immature little girl, perhaps a teenager. Being informed of your age would help me understand these posts of yours.
Very few of my friends have introduced me to their boy/girlfriends. To their spouses yes, and if we happened to run into each other on the street and they were with the SO they’d introduce us, and often I happened to meet both members of a couple separatedly - but the friends with whom I went to rockabilly concerts (all of us had friends who didn’t like rockabilly) didn’t force their b/gfs to come along “so you’ll meet my friends with strange musical tastes”, my classmates didn’t bring their b/gfs to the lab “so you’ll meet my friends who also like cooking tiny white crystals”, my RP or theater pals didn’t bring along their b/gf unless the b/gf was also into RP or theater.
Would these women’s SOs usually be at the places where you meet the women that you think are “hiding their gfs”?
There are some people, both gay and straight, who don’t know where the boundaries are in just being friendly vs stepping over the line into flirting or some variant that makes the SO of the one being flirted with uncomfortable. A good example of this is the character Julia Roberts portrayed in “The Runaway Bride”. There are people like this in real life.
Another issue (and I have no idea if it applies to you) is that for some (not all by any means) gay people who have very recently come out, the lid comes off, and they are sometimes supercharged in exploring their sexuality and feeling free to indicate sexual interest in other people they feel might reciprocate. This can obviously be uncomfortable in some scenarios.
I think this is certainly true. For some people who have recently come out, being a lesbian (or a gay man) becomes a very large part of their identity, which can express itself in many ways, such as dressing a certain way, hanging out only with other lesbians or making sex and relationships a major part of their everyday conversation. It’s this last point which can be tiresome, irritating and borderline creepy for those who have been out a while, are in long-term committed relationships, or who just don’t see their lesbianism as the most important facet of their lives. Sometimes we just want to chat about the price of coffee.
As someone who’s ‘straight but not narrow’ I definitely agree. A gay friend of my husband and I dated this one guy for years, and the beau would only ever E-mail my husband either forwarded messages about gay rights issues, or sex-related stuff. My husband finally got to the point where he tried to politely tell him, ‘It’s nothing against your sexuality or relationship but I’d rather not see all of this stuff, can’t we talk about how you’ve been?’ (Frankly, we’d rather not know anything about any of our friends’ sex lives/interests/fetishes. TMI.) Drama ensued. That relationship broke up eventually, so it’s no longer an issue.
I don’t give out my age, even in real life. Or any other info that people will put me in stereotypical boxes. I haven’t even mentioned things such as my race/ethnicity, hometown, what I went to school for, etc. My gender and orientation will be the only personal info I’ll give out, sorry.