girlie bars are good for your marriage.. ask the owner

inspired by this thread

i didn’t want to comment in that thread as the op was obviously distraught and I don’t really want to pile on anyone’s unhappiness, ( even though i figured it is misplaced and self indulgent)

but the premise was that her partner went to a batchelor party and had a good time with a dancer there and she felt betrayed.

as my user name suggests i live in asia and although my main income is derived from working for a major oil company ( not here in asia) and some property investments , i am also a part owner of a bar in manila.

our clients are mainly expat aussie, kiwi, US or brits. we get guys over here for the rugby tournies, or holidays or any number of reasons. got a question about far east asian girlie bars?

am not a fly buy night guest am a paid up member and am willing to give you the straight dope.

How much do the girls make a night?

I think the OP needs to be a bit more specific regarding the type of establishment he is running.

In the U.S. or U.K., there are strip clubs where the girls get topless, occasionally bottomless, and may perform lap dances, which may on occasion lapse into quasi-sex acts (though this is illegal).

From what I understand, in parts of Asia, “girlie bars” can be anything from a strip club to a place where you go, pay management, and leave to take a girl back to your hotel for a night of sex, with no pretense that anything other than that is going on.

OP: which kind of bar is yours?

hmm. okay i try this again. internets screwed up my first reply

ladies working in my bar earn a commission on drinks. a lady’s drink is either 170 peso or 370 peso depending on wheter its happy hour. girls cut is either 50 peso or 100 peso am sure they get tips on top of that.

i also have vip rooms at a charge of ten lady’s drinks.

whatever happens in the lady’s room is between the customer and lady.

if the guest wants to take the lady out bar hopping then that is also a cost of ten lady’s drinks.

the girls working in the bar have medical certs (if they cant show them being renewed weekly they dont get paid)

Umm… how are these bars good for a marriage?

Moved to IMHO.

Okay - I’ll bite: how is what you describe as available at your club good for a marriage?

ETA: simulpost with Autolycus!

What exactly is a medical cert?

how is it good for your marriage… yeah well maybe its my jaded outlook on that and a bit superficial…

but i honestly believe its an outlet where you can let your guard down and have fun and relax, get pampered get your ego boosted and just have a time out…

most of my customers are not losers ( as suggested in the reffered thread) i have all sorts of regular guys there ( and a few women)

some husbands or wives go to the gym or starbucks.

everyone needs a space for themselves

anyone girl working here needs a license. to qualify for her licence she needs to be checked for NSU & chlamydia every two weeks (sorry i said every week in my last post)

Money that is spent in any type of girlie establishment is money that is not available for the marital estate. Any defense of the girlie establishments as beneficial to marriage will have to take this negative financial effect into account.

This isn’t necessarily a small thing. Guys seem very prone to that-stripper (or whatever)-really-likes-me-itis, and as the periodic scandals where some schmuck gets drunk and winds up with a $55,000 charge on his AMEX for bottles of Cristal at Scores show, both the girls and the proprietors have every incentive to milk the clientele (as it were).

i really can’t talk for any other etablishment other than here in manila and really any establishment other than mine.

having said that it is prolly the best in burgos street. the most anyone has ever spent here in the three years i have been associated with it is slighltly more than 1k usd. and believe me it was because he wanted to be surrounded by 8 ladies for almost 8 hours and at the end of his stay invited four ladies back to his condo.

guy was happy, he came back the next night. we gave him that night on the house. didnt cost him a dime.

he went back to canada happy and sent us his photos of his night here and his subsequent pool party.

A long time ago, I considered doing the whole teach-ESL-abroad thing, and did research on what life is like as a vagabond in various locales. I decided against it on the grounds that it sounded precarious, unremunerative, frustrating (how could I really teach meaningful English to people when I spoke none of their own vocabulary? I had a hard enough time learning foreign languages from fluently bilingual teachers), and somewhat . . . less than as culturally edifying as you might think. There were many tales of expats who just hung out with other Westerners, went to the local Irish bar, etc. Why fly to Tokyo to do that (plus, it runs the risk of exposure to drunk Australians)? The Bangkok expats in particular also wrote about another risk – they wrote about “going native” in a bad way – guys who would just get into a habit of drinking and bringing bargirls home every night. Why not, when model-level chicks are there for the taking?

Now, those guys were younger and single. You speak of marriage. I could also imagine a married guy getting kind of used to having hardbodied young girls make much of him. What happens when he goes home and his wife doesn’t have the body of a 19 year old Pinay, or doesn’t treat him like a Conquering White God? Will he have gotten his randy impulses out of his system and revert to a mutual effort to make the marriage work well? Or, will he shy away from that hard work, spend less and less time on his marriage/family, and head back to the place where affection and gratitude are easily won/bought?

Let’s see… 1K, plus plane fair… I better start saving up :smiley:

In all seriousness, about these clubs being good for a marriage or not, I’m thinking about your claim that they give a place to unwind and boost the ego. I believe you that your club does both these things, but I’m still not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Having a place to unwind is fine, but if a man needs an ego boost from a stripper, I’m not so sure that’s a good thing.

So they’re prostitutes? Is that you’re saying?

hmmm… okay a few questions there.

prostitutes? that is really a comparitive word.

i started here in manila actually working but relaxing here. first time i took a bar girl home i had just finished a 36 hour straight up shift well testing. got back hit the bars took a lady home… dude i was so messed up i couldnt even speak! I gave her my wallet she paid the taxi dragged me back to my condo… looked after me all night and in the morning i woke up me condo was cleaned breakfast was ready, she sorted out the pool boy and gave me a hard time for getting so drunk…

its what she did it wasn’t what she was.

she is actually now married to some aussie dude but sends me pics of her and her kids every christmas.

okay your mileage may wildly vary. but the off the cuff … "so she is a prostitute ?’ doesnt really add much to this conversation

It was a simple question, if they are being paid for sex then it is prostitution.

I was asking because there is a large difference between that and the strip clubs here in the US. It is not normal for there to be sex involved in US clubs. If the club you are talking about regularly involves sex in exchange for money then it is not comparable to the thread you linked to.

Another thing that seems to have been missed by the OP is that acts as described in the other thread are pretty much illegal in most states of the US. A lap dance is allowed, but stimulation to ejaculation would probably be subject to charges of soliciting, public lewdness, etc., if they were witnessed by law enforcement (not that such acts NOT being witnessed by law enforcement makes them legal, but they can’t really arrest you for it if they don’t see it).

Are the drinks watered down?

apologies. yes you are right, i can imagine that there is a big difference in us clubs and here in manila, but i don’t really think they are so different in as much that i suspect that that sex implicit or implied is available in both venues.

perhaps because it is more open here then its not taken as a big deal.

dont get me wrong there are some bars here ( mainly geared to attract korean or japanese or local pinoy clientale) which have girls in kinda 'goldfish bowls) where the guys look through a one way window and choose some girl by the number on her wrist. that is a bit creepy to me

in the bar that i part own the ladies walk around dance chat and choose the customer that they want to spend some time with. and for the most part its just drinks and flirting fun.