Return it. I know you are hurting and wanting to get back at her, even in some small way, but it is better to return it. If you can afford it, send it to her, else box it up and leave it on her doorstep.
Return all but one or two items of clothing, and apologize: “Oh, I guess [insert name of your imaginary new girlfriend here] must have taken it…you know, she wears the same size as you!”
No, tell her that new girlfriend took them to sleep in- they’re a bit roomy because she’s THINNER than ex-girlfriend.
Give the stuff back, but make her come get it, unless it’s absolutely not feasible.
Do not engage in any spiteful behavior. As much fun as it may sound like now, it will just make you feel worse later. Vandalizing her stuff or similar actions would just show her that she still has a hold on you. Whether that’s true or not, you don’t want her to know that.
I would tell her that I’m not Federal Express, or Domonos. I don’t deliver.
She wants the stuff, she can damn well come and get it.
I was going to say…
Oooooh, I like this one.
I’m not a bitter man, but I am a bitter woman. My ex-fiance basically said the same thing to me (“get over it”) when he left me for another woman. I would love to live vicariously through you and encourage some sweeeeeet revenge…
But, I have to say, since I handled my breakup less than gracefully, give her her junk back. Leave it outside. In the rain. In the mud. Or something tame but deserving.
Damnit. I really want to say cut them up, burn them, and return them to her in an urn or something. But don’t.
Damnit.
I like the COD idea. It would be nice to have synthetic cat piss, to “mark” the clothing.
It’s best to box it up, leave it outside, let the beeeeeeyotch pick it up herself.
The mailing to her ideas kind of remind me of the scene in “The Emporers New Groove” when the wicked woman is trying to plan a way to kill the Emporer. One of my favorite movies.
Call her collect and tell her it’s on the porch.
Go buy some more girl’s clothes (or undies), mix it in with the stuff you box up and tell her to pick out her stuff and leave the rest - you couldn’t remember which was hers and which belonged to the all other girls.
This will be even more entertaining if she takes stuff that you know isn’t hers.
This is my advice. Just tell her it will be in a black garbage bage by the trash cans and she should hurry before the scroungers get it.
Agree.
If you want to REALLY get back at her, what you need to do is treat this whole thing like it is NO BIG DEAL. This will bug the &*%$ of her far more than anything else you could do.
Put her stuff in a box and get the box back to her as quickly and conveniently as possible. Treat this as another errand you need to do. Get it done, and get it over with. Be done with her and move on to finding a much cooler person who is right for you in all the ways that she was wrong for you.
Don’t bring it in to work. Keep it between you two. There’s no reason to feed the gossipers.
This I like! Or something very close to it. I think stating something like “I don’t know what is yours or others.” Is a bit flippant and might not be believed. But I promise you that if you mix up a few pairs of sexy underwear in with hers, she’ll think about it long and hard. And she’ll think about it everytime she puts on any of the clothing she gets back. “Oh, this was in that box that I got back…with those other girls undies…ewww!”
Subtle and effective. Just make sure you wash the new ones (even in the sink) just to get the creases from the hangers or ??? out. Also could use a small halter top or sexy t-shirt for a girl one-size too small for ex…and lightly sprinkled with a perfume the ex doesn’t wear, but will smell on others and always think of you…
-Tcat
BWAHAHA!!
Normally I’d say just give her damn stuff back. But this is just too good to pass up!!
Poetic Justice and all.
I agree with Casey1505. You don’t need everyone at work to know your business.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. People. NO.
This heifer cheated on him, refused to talk about it and left her shit at his place?The principal of reciprocity demands revenge in turn.
I think letting her get away with that shit is wimpy ass hell and should be avoided at all costs.
Luckily I’ve never been one to be above being small, unnecessarily cruel, petty and am perfectly comfortable indulging my inner asshole. He’s a fun motherfucker. The high road of maturity and forgiveness and respect is nice when you can take it, but the low road has its pluses, too. You get better stories to tell in your old age.
This chick doesn’t sound too bright, otherwise she’d have gotten her shit back and THEN broken up with you… so if she really, really, really wants her shit back… you make her ass come over to YOUR place when you know its inconvenient for her. When she arrives you and your buddies can be sitting out on the lawn drinking beer and holding a video camera. When she walks up, your boys should dog out her appearance immediately. When she asks about her shit, simply point to her box of shit now conveniently situated on the roof, preferably with sign that says, HERE’S YOUR SHIT, then hand her a broomstick and tell her to fly her ass up and get it. Refuse to help her in any shape or form. Provide a long heavy ladder a few feet too short to reach the roof. If her new guy friend is there, talk shit about him, too. Share sexual secrets. Offer him naked pictures. Your boys are there for back up.
If she balks outright at getting her stuff and tries to drive away, act like that’s the most cowardly shit you’ve ever seen in your lives. You and your boys should yell at her Greek chorus style about her seeming inability being able to commit to anything. Not your relationship, not even keeping her own things. “You said you wanted me, remember? You called me and said you wanted your stuff back, remember? Now you’re walking away? Again? What’s wrong with you that you always walk away? You’re a quitter! A cheat! A coward! Etc.”
Play Ronald isely’s “Busted” on loudspeaker.
Immediately go inside and watch the tape. Post that shit to the internet.
Leave the box on the roof until it decomposes.
You, my dear Askia, are my hero.