Carrots. Carrots. Yeah.
Carrots. Carrots. Carrots. Yeah.
Carrots. Carrots. Yeah.
Pickles? Pickles? No.
Pickles? Pickles? Pickles? No.
Pickles? Pickles? No.
Carrots. Yeah. Pickles?
No. Carrots. Pickles? No, no.
Carrots. Pickles! No.
saepiroth
Evil? Ha! Take that back,
you scrofulous, toad-eating,
rule-lover thingy!
Hombre
No! Though enemies
I cannot let you be tricked!
Do not be taken!
Saepiroth’s cunning
will seduce you, unaware
die cleanly, instead.
rhodes
Man, those haiku stink too bad for words, even here.
Congratulations! 
Kris Rhodes
[…standing… …applauding…]
Wonderful! Those are the worst haikus I’ve ever seen!
My wife and I delight in making midnight haikus … that is, haikus that describe the joy of not being able to sleep … and the torment that keeps you awake.
Check them out if you want …
the rage arises
I enter the kung fu war
powers of the truth
abomination
yondan has defied the rules
now for my steel wrath
flows of sheer metal
my sword cuts all; sound of silk
there, find your lost head
…
fell honor is lost
three haikus for one message
i do seppuku
aiiigh…
:shhhhhhhsht:
:squish:
life flows ever out
I die, my purpose fulfilled
evil is vanquished
fin.
thanks to saepiroth
falling off my chair laughing
kris rhodes amuses
-Another
Pfeh, say I…
Storm winds snap the bough
Haiku is for pantywaists
Try a sonnet thread
“Thbbbbt” right back atcha.
Spirits smile and drift
Yondan is victorious
and Saepiroth wins
By striking me down
He has made me powerful
beyond imagining
Saepiroth to the
Light Side of haiku writing
has come, finally.
[closing shot]
- Group shot of Saepiroth and Yondan, dressed in robes and glowing with an ethereal light, standing together and beaming with serenity and grace on disciple Hombre still clothed in mortal flesh. Millions line up to watch the movie, buy merchandising, royalties pour in by the truckload. Multiple sequels planned.*
[/closing shot]
[roll credits]
Shimmering purses
A high-heeled competition
The DC Drag Race
jr8 strolls in
ponders saepiroth’s slumped form
wanders off again
Lotus petals glow
As does Yondon, Saepiroth
Following the Way
I feel sad for them
Their spirit’s broke, they must go
Robe-path is weakness
I alone will stay
Someone must bleed for the rest
Earth is safe with me
May the winds of death
Caused by my sword, blow you on
out of harm’s way…pussies!